Capeeshe Italiano........ Let's start at the beginning. Come stai? Molto bene. Bon giorno. Ciao. Arrivederci. Every Italian from Italy knows these words and every Italian-American should. But what about the 'Goomba' speech pattern? Those words and phrases that are a little Italian, a little American, and those little slang words every Paesano and Bacciagaloop we have heard... words we hear throughout our Little Italy neighborhood of New York , or the old neighborhood in Chicago . This form of language, the 'Goomba-Italiano' has been used for generations. It's not gangster slang terms like 'whack' or 'vig', if that's what you are thinking...nope, this is real Guido talk! The goomba says ciao when he arrives or leaves. He says Mama Mia anytime emotion is needed in any given situation. Mannaggia, meengya, oofah, and of course, va fongool can also be used. Capeesh? He uses a moppeen to wipe his hands in the cuchina, gets agita from the gravy and will shkeevats meatballs unless they are homemade from the famiglia. Always foonah your bread in the pot of gravy (sauce) or you will be considered a real googootz or a Mezzo-finookio. There are usually plenty of mamalukes and the girl from the neighborhood with the reputation is a facia-bruta, puttana or a schifosa. If you are called cattivo, cabbadost, sfatcheem, stupido, or strunz, you are usually a pain in the ***. A crazy diavlo can give you the malokya (evil eye), but that red horn (contra malokya) will protect you if you use it right. Don't forget to always say per favore and grazia and prego. If you are feeling mooshadda or stounad or mezzo-morto, always head to Nonna's and she will fix you up with a little homemade manicott', cavadell', or calamar', or some ricotta cheesecake. Mangia some zeppoles, canolis, torrone, struffoli, shfoolyadell', pignoli cookies, or a little nutella on pannetone. Delizioso! I think I will fix myself a sangweech of cabacol' with some proshoot and mozarell' or maybe just a hot slice of a-peetz So salud' if you have any Italian blood in you and you understood anything written here! Then, you are numero uno and a professore of the goombas. If you don't get any of this, then fa nabola with the whole thing and you are a disgraziato. Scuzi, Mia dispiachay, I didn't mean that....... Just....... Fugheddaboudit...
Funny stuff. Forgot to mention saying all of this while joining all fingers together and moving your hand back and forth.
Oh Maddonn', I love to cook. Let's break some bread and pecorino over some fresh marinara (mah-ree-nah-rah, NOT mare-uh-nair-uh), paisano!
hey we ah make a yous a pizza den we a make a yous some oda typical eyetalian dish, den we fixa you'r plumin and save ah you'r princessa.
Wanna laugh? True story here.... I'm 11 years old, my mom sends me to the corner market (remember those?) for the first time alone. I'm excited as the French when Lindburgh landed cause she trusts me. She send me to get some "schka-dole". Of course, I'm looking all over for a little sign that says that. Finally I ask the guy where the schka-dole is. He points and I look at the little sign. Escarole? WTF is that??? It was then I realized the massive difference between American pronunciation and Italian pronunciation.
I grew up in an Italian family (my step dad) his parents "without papers" grew up in atlantic city and had some "connections".. well fast forward to me in Highschool in south jersey with a ton of the Jersey shore types in highschool and I'm talking to a friend about my families cooking and how good it is and I made the mistake of using the word "sauce" within earshot of one when describing it..."Thats not sauce its GRAVY!" so being a little confused I asked granpa about it at the next dinner opportunity...."Hey granpa is this gravy ?" he looks down at his plate of ravioli and points "this" ..me "yes" grandpa "gravy is brown and goes on turkey...what stunada told you this is gravy" I told him about the kid at school and he just shook his head and looked at dad and grandma "gravy".. So the great gravy debate still hasnt been settle for me.. I still wonder..
My family's Neopolitan...similar to what Pagan said.... There is marinara...fresh tomatoes, olive oil, garlic, basil, no meat, ready in less than an hour....for dipping bread or over spaghetti (very heart healthy BTW!) Then there is gravy ...like marinara (usually several cans of tomatoes though), plus spare ribs (favorite part!), meatballs, sausage, etc....for gavadeel or as a base for a baked dish like ziti (very anti-heart healthy BTW!)
