Make me a poster of my missing cat

Ronnie Bass · Jul 9, 2010

http://www.barnorama.com/make-me-a-poster-of-my-missing-cat/

No idea if this is real but it's hysterical nonetheless.

MikeHoncho · Jul 9, 2010

No reward

BigDogsHunt · Jul 9, 2010

Ronnie Bass said:

http://www.barnorama.com/make-me-a-poster-of-my-missing-cat/

No idea if this is real but it's hysterical nonetheless.
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(If I wanted to feed, care, and clean up after something, I wouldnt have put my mother in a home)

TheColossus · Jul 9, 2010

thats brilliant

TheHighExhaulted · Jul 9, 2010

I cracked up when I saw the red hat one.

The G Man · Jul 9, 2010

Another classic Thorne email exchange. Thanks for sharing RB.

Celtkin · Jul 9, 2010

Seriously, I laughed so hard that I had tears running down my face. Thanks!

Pandarilla · Jul 9, 2010

very funny, thanks

Lt Dan · Jul 9, 2010

that's funny!!

Frumundah Finnatic · Jul 9, 2010

Lmao!

King Felix · Jul 11, 2010

looooool

Original ad:
Garage sale on Saturday April 17th from 10 am to 4 pm. Lots of clothes, furniture, electronics, and more. The address is 341 ********* Drive. Email me if you need directions.

Now before you think this woman doesn't deserve it, she spammed this ad everywhere, every day. I was sick of seeing it.
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From Me to ***********@**********.org:

Hello,

I live a few blocks away from you and couldn't help but notice you are having a garage sale this Saturday. I am going to have to kindly ask you to change the date of your garage sale. I am having my annual world class garage sale on that day, and I do not want you to take away any of the customers that would be coming to my garage sale.

If you could hold your garage sale some time during May or June, that would be great.

Thanks,

Mike

From Karen ******** to Me:

I'm not changing the date. There is plenty of room for both of our garage sales.

From Me to Karen *******:

Karen,

There is not enough room for both of our garage sales. As I said earlier, my garage sale is a "world class" event. It draws in garage sale connoisseurs from all over the region. I have already booked a bartender and a string quartet for my sale on Saturday. My garage sale is a classy experience, and I do not want that experience to be ruined for customers who mistake your garage sale for mine. Now I'm not saying your garage sale isn't going to be nice, but I highly doubt you have a bartender and string quartet at your sale.

Please take down all of the ads in the neighborhood for your sale to avoid any confusion for my customers.

Mike

From Karen ******** to Me:

How rude of you to even make this request. I have the right to have a garage sale when ever I want to. What gives you the nerve to think you can tell me what to do?

From Me to Karen *******:

Karen,

You are correct, you do have the right to do whatever you want. I realize that I cannot change your mind about this.

I can, however, put up this ad all over the neighborhood. Let me know what you think of it:

Best,

Mike

From Karen ******** to Me:

What the hell is the matter with you? I swear if I see any of those ads in the neighborhood I will tear them down and report you. Do not speak to me again about this. You have been warned.

From Me to Karen *******:

Karen

I'm willing to cut you a deal and get you a spot on the guest list for my world class garage sale if you cancel yours.

Mike

From Karen ******* to Me:

Screw you and screw your world class garage sale, you world class prick.
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King Felix · Jul 11, 2010

....

Original ad:
ATTENTION: anyone who owns an auto repair shop
i need a fake invoice printed up for a bunch of car work so i can explain to my wife where our $1200 went. if you can print out an invoice with a bunch of repair stuff that would cost around that, please contact me ASAP.
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From Me to *********@********.org:

Hey, are you still looking to get a fake invoice? I run a repair shop off of 95 in Essington and could easily print something out for you.

Mike

From Dave ******** to Me:

yea dude that would be great. it needs to be for like $1200 but your a mechanic im sure you can think of something that costs that much. essington is kinda out of my way so i just need a good reason for my wife that explains why i was down there, ya hear?

From Me to Dave ********:

Alright, I can print one out in a few minutes and scan it for you. As for your wife, just tell her you were on your way to Chester to buy drugs and your car broke down, so you just had it towed to the nearest shop. Be sure to mention how great our service was.

Mike

From Dave ******** to Me:

yeah great idea genius that would go over real well. im better off coming clean about my bad luck in atlantic city, but that aint happenin neither

From Me to Dave ********:

I don't see why it wouldn't go over well. Lots of people go out of their way to Chester for drugs. I get my coke from Chester all of the time. It is cheap, and good, too.

Anyway, I've attached the invoice I wrote up for you. I forgot to ask the Make/Model/Year of your car, so I just took a guess. If I am wrong, let me know and I can change it.

Mike

From Dave ******** to Me:

if you guessed 98 corolla then id be impressed otherwise could you put that in, and date it for today? thanks a lot for your help dude

From Dave ******** to Me:

wait a minute what the **** is this ****

From Dave ******** to Me:

$200 to unjam a tape deck are you for real man? that isnt even a real problem
what the **** is a "transgasket differential" are you serious dude, this **** isnt going to fly. 50 bucks to set the dashboard clock wtf man

like seriously man are you ****ing ******ed? wtf is this bull****

From Me to Dave ********:

Yes, I typically charge around $200 to unjam a tape deck. Have you ever tried to do it? It is a pain in the ***. Some people panic and try to rewind their tapes and that just makes it even worse.

I charge $50 to set the dashboard clock, but it is well worth every penny. It is the most accurate time reading you will ever have. I sync it down to the millisecond with the official NIST time, and I have it verified by a certified time expert.

You've got me there on the transgasket differential. I just make that up and charge $400 for it and people usually pay it without much argument. Especially women, which brings me to my next point.

Women tend to know nothing about cars, so your wife will probably just look at the document and get confused by all that fancy car lingo. All women need to see is the money amount, which I have made very clear at the bottom of the invoice.

Mike

From Dave ******** to Me:

cmon man quit dicking me around and put some real **** on there. i dont know what kind of bull**** shop you are running over there, but neither me or my wife would believe this thing

and fix the car info. out of all the guesses you could have made you guessed that i drive a ****ing delorean? for real dude?

From Me to Dave ********:

Sorry, you just struck me as the kind of guy who would have a DeLorean.

If you really think your wife isn't going to fall for that, I'll give you a more realistic looking document. Here is a realistic bank statement you can use to show your wife where your money went.

Mike

From Dave ******** to Me:

wow thats great buddy thanks for nothing you ****ing ******
hey why dont you go **** yourself in the *** with your transgasket differential. what a douchebag
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