1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

The Rules of Food:

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Fin D, Jul 11, 2010.

Tags:
  1. Fin D

    Fin D Sigh

    72,252
    43,684
    113
    Nov 27, 2007
    1. If you get pizza from a chain joint instead of a mom & pop place, you did it wrong.
    2. Real men don't eat toasted bagels.
    3. Putting A-1 on a steak is only acceptable if the steak sucks. Even then don't make it obvious. Ketchup is never acceptable.
    4. Salad bars are for women.


    Continue the list with your own.
     
  2. anlgp

    anlgp ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

    5 go to philly for cheesesteaks. anything else is not a cheesesteak. or a sub, or a hoagie, or anything remotely close. the tri-state region is probably the best, and even if the place is called "mike from philly's" cheesesteaks unless the guy is actually from philly it still doesn't count.

    6 put cheese whiz on it when you get it. at least once.

    7 if you're going to make a philly cheesesteak the trick is to use rib eye or angus beef and shave it thinly
     
  3. FinSane

    FinSane Cynical Dolphins Fan

    19,862
    5,792
    113
    Dec 1, 2007
    Melbourne, Fl
    8. Triple-Shot Expresso Lattes are for chicks
     
    Fin D likes this.
  4. anlgp

    anlgp ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

    9. the rules of food are obviously subjective
     
  5. opfinistic

    opfinistic Braaaaains!

    30,659
    14,683
    0
    Dec 7, 2007
    Peeking in Nabo's Basement
    10) If you are eating Taco Bell and it's going to be daylight soon you have had a fun night.
     
  6. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=-

    52,652
    25,565
    113
    Nov 13, 2009
    11) If you are hanging with Rex Ryan, none of these rules apply to you/your crew. Save for the Taco Bell & Salad Bar part.
     
  7. m ino

    m ino New Member

    1,142
    441
    0
    Jul 20, 2008
    if you go to a chinese resturant and get the gumbo off the buffet line you lose all rights to complain about how bad said gumbo is.
     
    Frumundah Finnatic and Fin D like this.
  8. Thunderbolt89

    Thunderbolt89 Well-Known Member

    1,299
    433
    83
    Oct 16, 2009
    13. When eating at a buffet,if something doesn't taste good don't complain and continue to eat it.
    14. Don't call it a barbecue if there are just hot dogs and hamburgers.
    15. Food like pizza and hamburgers are not meant to be eaten with a fork and knife.
     
  9. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=-

    52,652
    25,565
    113
    Nov 13, 2009
    15. (Similar to #14) You don't eat a cookie with fork and knife.
     
    Frumundah Finnatic and Fin D like this.
  10. Sethdaddy8

    Sethdaddy8 Well-Known Member

    13,006
    6,368
    113
    Dec 6, 2007
    NJ
    16. If you order a coffee at Starbucks...screw them and their snarky, trendy, size names. Order the gods damned Medium and call it a Medium. And yeah, as some else eluded to...don't order the fancy pants crap. Be a man and order a regular *** coffee.
     
  11. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=-

    52,652
    25,565
    113
    Nov 13, 2009
    17. (related to #8, and #16) REAL MEN hunt and kill their coffee.
     
  12. Jaydog57

    Jaydog57 Canes/Fins/Magic fan

    4,553
    1,460
    113
    Jun 25, 2008
    Daytona Beach, FL
    19. Similar to #15, you don't eat french fries with a fork.

    20. Don't be a wussy with the hot sauce.
     
    Fin D likes this.
  13. opfinistic

    opfinistic Braaaaains!

    30,659
    14,683
    0
    Dec 7, 2007
    Peeking in Nabo's Basement
    21) When eating hot wings and drinking beer wash your hands very well before taking a leak.
     
  14. VanDolPhan

    VanDolPhan Club member Club Member

    13,057
    8,875
    113
    Nov 26, 2007
    Hamilton, Ontario Canada
    Related: 22) When making jalapeno hot sauce, wash your hands before taking a leak (happened to a co-worker when I used to work in a restaurant during my college years...damn funny.....for me..not him).
     
    Dolfan984, opfinistic and Fin D like this.
  15. opfinistic

    opfinistic Braaaaains!

    30,659
    14,683
    0
    Dec 7, 2007
    Peeking in Nabo's Basement
    Ha! Ha! I remember you, you jerk!
     
  16. maynard

    maynard Who, whom?

    18,425
    6,346
    113
    Dec 5, 2007
    clearwater, fl
    we can just amend all these with:

    23) never use a fork, knive or spoon
     
    gafinfan, gunn34 and Fin D like this.
  17. Bumrush

    Bumrush Stable Genius Club Member

    29,473
    34,332
    113
    Nov 25, 2007
    First of all, toasted bagels RULE.. So STFU on that one.

    24) Frozen Pina Coladas are for sissies.

    25) Arby's Roast Beef Sandwich is NOT roast beef.

    26) Miller Lite will not reduce the beer gut you already have and still tastes like sh*t
     
  18. Bumrush

    Bumrush Stable Genius Club Member

    29,473
    34,332
    113
    Nov 25, 2007
    27) Double dipping does not make you more manly.. It makes you a disgusting pig with no manners..
     
    Fin D likes this.
  19. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

    53,333
    23,006
    0
    Dec 7, 2007
    28) Sporks are deadly weapons. Always treat your spork with respect and in turn it will save your life one day.
     
  20. Bumrush

    Bumrush Stable Genius Club Member

    29,473
    34,332
    113
    Nov 25, 2007
    29) Size does matter when it comes to sausage and hot dogs.. The bigger the better.

    30) Sauerkraut was invented in heaven by god himself.

    31) If this thread is larger than Sections Porn Parody thread we will be required to chug down an entire bottle of Tabasco.
     
    Frumundah Finnatic and Fin D like this.
  21. Bumrush

    Bumrush Stable Genius Club Member

    29,473
    34,332
    113
    Nov 25, 2007
    32) Boiling water and opening a jar of tomato sauce doesn't make you a chef.
     
    Fin D likes this.
  22. Fin D

    Fin D Sigh

    72,252
    43,684
    113
    Nov 27, 2007
    Sure they do. Is it because the crunchy texture helps balance the smooth milky texture of your appletini flavored cream cheese? Or were you born with both sets of genitalia?:shifty:
     
    gafinfan and unluckyluciano like this.
  23. Bumrush

    Bumrush Stable Genius Club Member

    29,473
    34,332
    113
    Nov 25, 2007
    33) If you are eating at Denny's and want to bang the waitress you have probably had waaaay to much to drink and are in danger of dying of alcohol poisoning.
     
  24. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=-

    52,652
    25,565
    113
    Nov 13, 2009
    34) When the biggest dude in the room asks for your cornbread you should never give it to him. If he wants some cornbread, let him go up to the front and get his own portion of cornbread, that's your cornbread, **** him. If you let have your cornbread, you're gonna be ironin' his drawers and clippin' his toenails.
     
  25. opfinistic

    opfinistic Braaaaains!

    30,659
    14,683
    0
    Dec 7, 2007
    Peeking in Nabo's Basement
    ...and deserve the herpes that you end up getting.


    Sam?
     
    Fin D likes this.
  26. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

    53,333
    23,006
    0
    Dec 7, 2007
    no but it does keep lucky alive and well......:hi5:
     
    opfinistic and Fin D like this.
  27. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

    53,333
    23,006
    0
    Dec 7, 2007
    Just how long have you associated cornbread with prison rape?
     
  28. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=-

    52,652
    25,565
    113
    Nov 13, 2009
    On a side note:

    You can't have my cornbread. That's for damn sure. You try and take my cornbread, Killing Spree, Part 2 gon' begin up in here on your ***. You thinking about my cornbread, better get the taste out your mouth. That's for damn sure.

    **** that, 'cause I'm from New York City, goddammit. Nobody take no cornbread from me. That goes for anyone of you mother****ing farmers who wanna start some ****. You **** around with me, there's gonna be consequences and repercussions.
     
    Frumundah Finnatic and Fin D like this.
  29. Fin D

    Fin D Sigh

    72,252
    43,684
    113
    Nov 27, 2007
    Can I have some cornbread?
     
    Ohio Fanatic likes this.
  30. bigbry

    bigbry Huge Member

    5,278
    3,071
    0
    Dec 18, 2008
    Colorado
    When he became my roommate a few years ago.
     
    Ohio Fanatic and unluckyluciano like this.
  31. maynard

    maynard Who, whom?

    18,425
    6,346
    113
    Dec 5, 2007
    clearwater, fl
    mi cornbread es su cornbread
     
    unluckyluciano, MikeHoncho and Fin D like this.
  32. opfinistic

    opfinistic Braaaaains!

    30,659
    14,683
    0
    Dec 7, 2007
    Peeking in Nabo's Basement
    Cornbread or cornholed, in prison you get a choice.
     
    bigbry and MikeHoncho like this.
  33. AbideN703

    AbideN703 Yes, I'd hit it

    2,532
    925
    0
    Jan 7, 2008
    Springfield, Virginia
    Paul Rudd, is that you?
     
    opfinistic likes this.
  34. arsenal

    arsenal Sunglasses and advil

    2,768
    1,081
    0
    Nov 26, 2007
    Commack, NY
    35) Salad is not a meal, and if you do get a side salad with your steak or other manly meat, only ceasar salad is allowed
    36) Meat to non-meat ration during any non-breakfast meal must always be over 1.5:1
    37) Ribs must be eaten off the bone using your hands, any utensil use is punishable by a smack across the face
     
    opfinistic and Fin D like this.
  35. opfinistic

    opfinistic Braaaaains!

    30,659
    14,683
    0
    Dec 7, 2007
    Peeking in Nabo's Basement
    38) The 5 second rule does not apply when eating a burrito at the beach. Ever.
     
    Fin D likes this.
  36. arsenal

    arsenal Sunglasses and advil

    2,768
    1,081
    0
    Nov 26, 2007
    Commack, NY
    does the 5 second rule ever really apply??? speaking of burritos...

    38A) Burritos must be picked up and eaten with hands regardless of how absurdly large said burrito is. Items that fall out of the burrito can be eaten with a utensil only after the rest of the burrito is finished.
     
    opfinistic and Fin D like this.
  37. Jaydog57

    Jaydog57 Canes/Fins/Magic fan

    4,553
    1,460
    113
    Jun 25, 2008
    Daytona Beach, FL
    39. When making a sandwich for anyone other than yourself, do NOT assume that Miracle Whip is a good substitute for mayonnaise.
     
  38. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=-

    52,652
    25,565
    113
    Nov 13, 2009
    40) **** Miracle Whip
     
  39. Fin D

    Fin D Sigh

    72,252
    43,684
    113
    Nov 27, 2007
    They have, by far, the most annoying commercials I've ever seen. Apparently they think the way to sell Fauxnaisse, is to make it a symbol of a young people's revolution. Soooooooooooooooooo effing stupid.
     
    gafinfan and Jaydog57 like this.
  40. hoss

    hoss New Member

    20
    4
    0
    Jul 11, 2010
    41) If you don't wake up the next morning and fart for like 45 seconds while taking the morning piss, you didn't really eat much of a meal the night before.
     

Share This Page