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Somebody tell a joke

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Abbi Normal, Apr 29, 2011.

  1. Abbi Normal

    Abbi Normal Banned

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    Dolphins are consistently miserable. The staff are buffoons and I think we could use a few laughs to help come out of the shock of reality of how bad they are........

    Two peanuts were walking down the street.....one was a salted
     
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  2. finsbuck719

    finsbuck719 New Member

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    You spelled assaulted wrong.
     
  3. GMJohnson

    GMJohnson New Member

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    I think he meant a salted...
     
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  4. MonstBlitz

    MonstBlitz Nobody's Fart Catcher

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    A nun, a pirate and Jeff Ireland walk into a bar. Jeff Ireland is raped and murdered.
     
  5. finsbuck719

    finsbuck719 New Member

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    I thought he meant hard boiled...

    confusing joke is confusing

    Someone's forgetting who took us from a 1-15 team to a playoff/borderline playoff team. Someone's also forgetting that these guys have had some of the best 1st round picks in the past 3 years.
     
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  6. MonstBlitz

    MonstBlitz Nobody's Fart Catcher

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    Nobody thought my joke was funny?
     
  7. Abbi Normal

    Abbi Normal Banned

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    ya I'm trying to forget
     
  8. GMJohnson

    GMJohnson New Member

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    Ireland walks into a bar full of angry Dolphin fans. They all complain that he should've traded up for Ryan Mallett. Ireland explains that Mallett was very high on his board so went with Pouncey instead.
     
  9. Killerphins

    Killerphins The Finger

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    :spam:
     
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  10. electrolyte

    electrolyte New Member

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    Wanna hear a joke about my johnson? actually nevermind, it's too long.
     
  11. ToddsPhins

    ToddsPhins Banned

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    :lol:
     
  12. ToddsPhins

    ToddsPhins Banned

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    It wouldn't be if you fixed that stammer.
     
  13. Killerphins

    Killerphins The Finger

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    Sleep it off. Better days in front of you! :lol:
     
  14. Puka-head

    Puka-head My2nd Fav team:___vs Jets Club Member

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    What's blue and smells like red paint???
     
  15. Puka-head

    Puka-head My2nd Fav team:___vs Jets Club Member

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    Slightly left of center
    So this 85 yr old man goes to the doctor to get a prescription for Viagra. Doc says ...of course sir just give you an exam so I can be sure you are healthy enough for sex first, ok.

    Man says ok doc, if ya gotta, but I don't want the Viagra for sex...I just want to get it up enough so I can quity pissing on my shoes.
     
  16. ToddsPhins

    ToddsPhins Banned

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    The breakfast you ate 44 years ago?? lol.
     
  17. BuckeyeKing

    BuckeyeKing Wolves DYNASTY!!!!

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    This thread is a big joke.
     
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  18. Puka-head

    Puka-head My2nd Fav team:___vs Jets Club Member

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    no...

    it's blue paint..... har dee har har
     
  19. ToddsPhins

    ToddsPhins Banned

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    That's what I said. lol.
     
  20. NaboCane

    NaboCane Banned

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    :lol: Your username and the thread title make me believe you and I like the same movies. :up:

    Good thread idea.
     
  21. NaboCane

    NaboCane Banned

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    I lol'd. :up:
     
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  22. Phinatic425

    Phinatic425 MIA State of Mind

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    This draft has been great. I know everyone wants a quarterback but obviously the staff feels the same way I do......Henning makes young quarterbacks look bad. Give Henne a REAL chance. And please stop whining.
     
  23. CitizenSnips

    CitizenSnips hmm.

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    yep.
     
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  24. NaboCane

    NaboCane Banned

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    Don't bring your weak football **** up in here.





























    :chuckle:
     
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  25. Killerphins

    Killerphins The Finger

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    Great post!
     
  26. Puka-head

    Puka-head My2nd Fav team:___vs Jets Club Member

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    Isn't anybody else gunna tell a joke?
     
  27. ToddsPhins

    ToddsPhins Banned

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    I didnt. Why wasn't the nun ra..... never mind.
     
  28. Puka-head

    Puka-head My2nd Fav team:___vs Jets Club Member

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    A US Navy SEAL walks into a bar and orders a Bin Laden cocktail. Bartender asks, "How do you make that one?" And the SEAL replies...

    Two shots and a splash
     
  29. Paul 13

    Paul 13 Chaotic Neutral & Unstable Genius Staff Member

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    A timeout... a field goal... and a fist pump...


    makes me laugh every time.
     
  30. MrClean

    MrClean Inglourious Basterd Club Member

    So there was this certain QB who expeditiously led his offense from his own 20 to the opponent's 25 yard line. The grizzled geriatric offensive coordinator pulls the young QB for first and 2nd downs to use the Wildcat. After a gain of 2 yards on first down and a loss of 3 yards on 2nd down, the young QB reenters the game for 3rd and 11. The antiquated offensive coordinator calls a play action pass, while 2 receivers run patterns against a dime defense, while 8 stay in to block, before the 3 second clock that had been implanted in his head goes off, the young QB forces a pass into triple coverage. It is nearly picked off. As he returns to the sideline, the coach chastises him for not being more careful with the ball. Not to worry, the automatic Fg kicker enters the game to try a 48 yard FG. He slices it to the right. The fans all cry because they didn't get to see a fist pump from the mustachioed Italiano in the sunglasses, holding a clipboard. Vodka and tequila shots are consumed throughout the fandom of this snake bitten team that shall remain nameless.

    Get it?
     
  31. Pandarilla

    Pandarilla Purist Emeritus

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    Classic:lol::pity:
     
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  32. Pandarilla

    Pandarilla Purist Emeritus

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    Why did Sparano cross the road?

    because he benched the chicken for being too much of a primaddona.
     
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  33. xphinfanx

    xphinfanx Stay strong my friends.

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    I can tell by this thread I am way behind on beers.
     
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  34. MrClean

    MrClean Inglourious Basterd Club Member

    A man walked into a bar with a monkey.

    I forget the rest of the joke but your mom is a whore.

    Sincerely,
    J. Irish
     
  35. CaribPhin

    CaribPhin Guest

    I have one.

    So a New York Jets fan was reading.
     
  36. Conuficus

    Conuficus Premium Member Luxury Box

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    Well away from here
    Fixed that for you. :up:
     
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  37. MarinePhinFan

    MarinePhinFan Banned

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    What does an 80yr old woman taste like?



    Eh, depends.
     
  38. MonstBlitz

    MonstBlitz Nobody's Fart Catcher

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    Thanks, man! I cracked my drunk self up with that last Friday. Looking back I still find it pretty hi-larious!
     
  39. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=-

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    Osama Bin Laden walks into a bar...


    ...j/k that *****'s dead.
     
  40. ToddsPhins

    ToddsPhins Banned

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    Because the fans wanted him to play in traffic?
     
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