For Fun, Asked My Wife To Rank the Dolphins Players' Looks

So I've been trying to get my wife into football. Hard Knocks has helped.

Of course, when women watch, they can;t help but notice which ones are 'cute' and aren't. For kicks, I thought I'd ask her to rank the attractiveness of the players. here are my wife's

Pre-Season Dolphins Player Attraction-Power Rankings

Score out of 100 (plus what she said about them)

1) Reggie Bush. 80 he's cute. he's one of the better looking guys. nice smile. nice deep eyes.

2) Matt Moore 70

3) Roberto Wallace 70

4) Tannehill 50 Normally I like his type but something about him. I'm not as attracted.

5) David Garrard 40
6) Jimmy Wilson 40 he's alright.

7) Richie Incognito 30 he has a cute face but you're too fat. too much fat with the muscle but his face is cute. I like physicality. if he lost weight he'd be much cuter.
8) Charles Clay. 30 he's cute. good smile.
9) Coach Turner 30 he's like a sargeant. real authoritative. i don;t like that at all, but I really like his personality and that makes him cuter. just because I like his personality, not because I think he is good looking. I like his integrity and intensity as a man.
10) Chris Hogan 30
11) Davone Bess 30
12) Cam wake 30

13) Jared Odrick 20 nice teddy bear kinda look to him. wouldn;t say he's good looking.
14) John Jerry 20
15) Jeff Ireland 20
16) Rashad Jones 20 looks like a rapper
17) Randy Starks 20
18) Vontae davis 20

19) dan carpenter 10, maybe 15. looks like a redneck, like kid rock's athletic brother and I dont think kid rock is a good looking guy. oh god.

20) Sean Smith 10
21) Jake Long 10

22) Head coach "Feldman" Oh my God. definitely down at the bottom. 10 maybe 8

23) michael egnew 5 'ew. looks like a ****-***** ******. sorry'

24) Karlos Dansby 4 Manamou! (Greek for like Oh my God/Mother!) Looks like a mac truck ran over his face. he rates down there at four. This is horrible. [she gets guilty-feeling as we hit the ugly guys] I don't like doing this to people.

25) Anthony fasano. 4 ew. oh my god. he's pretty low. (giggles a long while) (marginally prefers Feldman)

26) Mike Sherman Who the **** is that? is that the guy standing up talking **** shaming all of them in front of each other, telling them how bad they are on the field?!? I call him Mr Tough Love. honestly there is no rating for him. I feel nothing. So I would probably say 2. But I like that he is weeding out the weak. He is doing his job well.

27) Paul Soliai Ai yai yai! He looks like a mountain man. He's like a caveman. Like he just climbed down. Absolutely maybe a 2.

28) Steve Ross 1/100 too weathered. Oh my God. He has ears like an elephant. the good life has caught up to him. been in the sun one too many times. had a lot of sleepless nights. looks really tired. He's the ugliest one so far.
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Well... there you have it.... I thought she was hilarious. It's made more fun by her not knowing who most of them are. Ross, at least, can attract chicks with his money, if not his looks.

 

Maybe they can settle it somehow to break the tie. Have a Zoolander style walk-off.

[video]http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMjk1ODI3NTQw.html[/video]

 

Yeah, me too. Makes me wonder if I'm not as gorgeous as I know I am lol.

 

Lol. She likes people. Doesn't care black white purple, whatev.

 

Lol. HELL NO!!!!!!!!

We're not into THAT. Just thought it was funny as we watched and she commented how ugly a player was and I was like, "Really?" because I have no sense of these dudes being attractive or ugly.

 

This is a FAMILY show, sir!














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lol. Man, dare I ask why. No I don't.

 

No, what's hilarious is she has no clue who they are half the time.

I loved when she said "Feldman handled Chad well."

 

My Wife Supports Coach Feldman

 

lol. Nah. I leave that to Phinsational when their bull is in town.

 

Who are you..? Bruce Wayne?

 

Archer is hilarious. (Alex, before I met my wife, you have NO idea what I was into... 5000 Shades of Grey... lol.)

 

LOL. I think most of the board would say no... but I think that'd be hysterical.