More stories about the Dolphins former Head Coach

I'd love to do a one act play in the French Existential style.

-Lights Up-

Nick Saban and Jeff Ireland in a small room. Nick tries the door. It is locked from the outside.

Jeff has distasteful look at the thought of pretending to be friendly. So he just stares silently at Nick.

Nick paces and fumes inside, exhibiting facial tics. He writes angrily on a big white cardboard paper and slams it down on the desk.

Jeff comes over to the desk. He picks up the sign and shows it to the audience. It reads "Don't look at me, or else."

Jeff: Was your father a pimp?

Nick throttles him until Jeff sinks to his knees.

Nick lets go.

Jeff slumps down and stares into his cupped palms, rocking his body.

Nick unwraps a snack cake and gobbles it down as he paces. He licks the wrapper and throws it at Jeff.

CURTAIN

-First Intermission-

 

Maybe if you bought your woman flowers, she'd end the obvious nookie dry spell you're in.

 

Judging from the stories that have popped up regarding people who have been told they were not to speak to Saban unless spoken to first, I think the apple might not have fallen from the tree when it comes to a ripe amount of arrogance and acute sense of entitlement and privilege. This delusional sense of self worth then probably manifests itself in anger management issues when the world doesn't bow at the princess' feet.

 

And if I recall correctly, he basically went against the grain on Jason Allen and took him over other's (Randy Mueller, perhaps) objections.

 

Indeed... it was widely questioned and criticized and Saban was angry about being questioned. We had a solid defense already and shockingly needed offensive help which is how we ended up with Derek Hagan in the second round. The entire draft was maybe the worst one in Dolphins history... Jason Allen, Derek Hagan, Joe Toledo, Fred Evans, Rodrique Wright, and Devin Aromashodu. There were also the trades for Culpepper and Harrington.

 

Fred Evans still plays for the Vikings. 342 snaps this season. +8.9 rating by PFF.
Derek Hagan played 257 snaps for the Raiders. +1.2 rating by PFF
Devin Aromashodu played 342 snaps for the Vikings. +3.0 rating by PFF
Jason Allen missed most of this past season, but played 561 snaps for Houston in 2011 and had a +3.0 rating.
Rod Wright made the team and played quite bit in 2007, probably typical for most 7th rounders.
That group wasn't bereft of talent, we just didn't have coaches who could develop them I'd say. Evans was cut by the clueless CamCam because of a run in with the law, otherwise I think he'd have contributed for several years in Miami. With Jason Allen, most of us used to talk about how the coaches kept moving him back and forth between safety and corner and never allowing him to get settled at either spot.

 

Don't forget no one could convince him to take off his Nike Air Slip-N-Slides either. That guy could not make a turn and stay upright.

 

I think that has often been the case here in Miami - not being able to properly develop players or giving up on them too early.

 

Would you do the devil's daughter?

 

I'd long stroke her, that's what I'd do. I wouldn't stop til she called me sweet daddy either.

 

It'd be worth the Alabamian death threats.

 

The question isn't would I do her, but what wouldnt I do to her.

 

Or she called the cops...,

 

Topless photos? Where?

 

Fellas, rule #1:

"Never put your social finger into crazy"

 

Yes, then I'd get out of town.

 

Just don't let Musburger near her.....

 

Ah hell.

 

I googled it and it was a prank. Apparently. Didn't find anything. And the headshots I did see (no boobies) weren't even close to looking like ^^^^

 

I honestly didn't do any in-depth checking on whether or not that's his daughter, haha.

I just typed in "nick saban daughter" in Google Images and picked the most appealing one. Sorry if I got your hopes up everybody.

 

I know a succubus when i see one. That being said, I'm ok with any kind of succing. Lord help me.

 

Heh, so a spoof pic of Lil nicky's daughter and you fellas are all like "yup, I'd hit it".

You fellas need to work on your faux sport hate skills.