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If former Dolphin players became Dolphin coaches...

Discussion in 'Miami Dolphins Forum' started by Paul 13, Dec 30, 2013.

  1. Paul 13

    Paul 13 Chaotic Neutral & Unstable Genius Staff Member

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    the all Dolphins coaching staff (if former players became coaches)

    Richie Incognito (really could there be anyone else destined to be a HC? Utilizes the latest techniques in player motivation) Head Coach
    John Avery (knows how to get players in space) Offensive coordinator
    AJ Feeley (well traveled, lots of experience) QB coach
    Eddie Blake (knows the best buffets in town, John Jerry would love him) Oline coach
    Cecil Collins (not only on the field but off the field... one word... elusiveness) RB coach
    Les Brown (can also assist with salary cap management... as uge) TE coach
    Larry Shannon (molds his players to be like Randy Moss) WR coach

    Jamar Fletcher (has devoted his life to stopping Drew Brees, showing that he was the better pick) Defensive coordinator
    Manuel Wright (a real motivator) dline coach
    Eric Kumerow (getting the most out of top grade talent) linebacker coach
    Louis Oliver (Playing in the snow is his area of expertise) defensive back coach

    Pete Stoyanovich (in the clutch) special teams coach
    Jason Trusnick (minimizing stupid penalties one play at a time) quality control
     
  2. dont fumble

    dont fumble Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    Jonathan Martin cheerleading coach (Note: Head Coach and cheerleading coach must not go to the cafeteria at the same time.)
     
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  3. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=-

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    Zach Thomas: Linebackers coach, (and Safties coach :shifty:)
     
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  4. Jimmy James

    Jimmy James Ron Swanson

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    I see what you did there.

    Shouldn't David Boston be the strength and conditioning coach for his legendary durability?

    Wouldn' Dimitrius Underwood be the perfect team sports psychologist?
     
  5. Fin-Omenal

    Fin-Omenal Initiated

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    Thee...Ohio State University

    Marty Booker could be our "how to be average" coach. :shifty:
     
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  6. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=-

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    Maybe not coaches per se, but organizational positions to be filled.


    Greg Camarillo: VP of Under-appreciated, Undrafted Free Agent Development

    Karlos Dansby: VP of Over-paid, Under-appreciative Player Development

    Channing Crowder:
    VP of Pissing Your Pants on Gameday Operations

    Vontae Davis:
    VP of Community Grandmamma Outreach

    Sean Smith: VP of Getting Your Hair Did, Girl

    Jason Allen: VP of Field-turf Traction

    Chad Henne: VP of 5-yard Bullet-passes

    Yeremiah Bell: VP of Gettin' All Swole

    Phillip Wheeler: VP of Getting Run Over or 3rd Down Penalty Conversion Operations (premature but w/e)

    Ted Ginn Jr: VP of Community Family Out-reach, Assistant Executive Officer of Out of Bounds Operations

    Brandon Marshall: Senior VP of Out of Bounds Operations
     
  7. Jimmy James

    Jimmy James Ron Swanson

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    Average? That's a laugh.

    As a Dolphin...

    Booker
    194 catches
    2627 yards
    11 touchdowns
    That's just catching the ball, not what he did as a passer

    Boston
    4 catches
    80 yards
    0 touchdowns

    QED
     
  8. Fin-Omenal

    Fin-Omenal Initiated

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    Thee...Ohio State University

    Nice comparison. :up:
     
  9. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=-

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    Lousaka Polite: 4th Down Conversions Coach
     
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  10. Jimmy James

    Jimmy James Ron Swanson

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    Tim Bowens: Dietary consultant
     
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  11. Fin-Omenal

    Fin-Omenal Initiated

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    Thee...Ohio State University
    Jason Taylor VP of pigment moisturizing.
     
  12. Fin-Omenal

    Fin-Omenal Initiated

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    Thee...Ohio State University
    Ricky Williams: Quality Urine Sampling Control Manager
     
  13. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=-

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    Zach Thomas: Assistant VP of Bloody Elbows, Director of Giving 110 Percent.
     
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  14. Jimmy James

    Jimmy James Ron Swanson

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    Jay Fiedler: Special analyst for down-field throwing

    Brian Griese: Manager for exceeding generational expectations

    Ray Lucas: Tee boy
     
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  15. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=-

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    Bob Griese: Assistant Director of Being Drunk in the Broadcast Booth.

    Nat Moore: Director of Being Drunk in the Broadcast Booth, Director of Helicopters.

    Vernon Carey:
    VP of Big-*** Scary Frog Stories, Assistant Representative of How Not to Look When Reporting to Camp

    John Jerry: Head Representative of How Not to Look When Reporting to Camp (premature)

    Derek Hagan: Director of Looking Like a Sure-fire Playmaker

    Daunte Culpepper:
    Head Representative on Injury Prognostications

    Matt Moore: VP of Holy **** I'm Still on Their Payroll Operations (premature)

    Jason Allen: Senior VP of Drafted in the 1st Round OMGLOL

    AJ Feely: Senior VP of Don't Ever Sign Philadelphia-system QBs
     
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  16. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=-

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    Gibril Wilson: Senior VP of Busted Coverage Operations
     
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  17. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=-

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    Kendall Langford: Under-appreciated DT Coach
     
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  18. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=-

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    Heath Evans: Senior Executive VP of Talking **** About The Franchise, President of Knob-gargling Bill Belichick Operations
     
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  19. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=-

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    Anthony Fasano: Under-appreciated Blocking TE Development Coach
     
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  20. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=-

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    Jonathan Martin: VP of Feelings, Assistant VP of Sucking at Football Operations

    Richie Incognito: VP of ****ting In Your Mouth Operations

    Chad Johnson:
    Senior VP of ***** Please Shut the **** Up About the Condoms Already Operations
     
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  21. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=-

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    John Beck: Director of Good-guy Character Development, Senior VP of of Fumbling the Snap Operations

    David Martin: Senior VP of Hands

    Reagan Mauia:
    Senior VP of Juggernaut Activities
     
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  22. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=-

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    Patrick Cobbs: Vice President of Making the Roster
     
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  23. Ophinerated

    Ophinerated Preposterous!

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    [​IMG]
     
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  24. Fin-Omenal

    Fin-Omenal Initiated

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    Thee...Ohio State University
    Nick Saban: Director of honesty and public relations

    Zach Thomas: Operator of head protection for toddlers.

    Pat Surtain: Head of domestic disturbance prevention

    Brent Grimes: Head of domestic disturbance prevention

    Bryan Cox: Lead sign language interpretation expert
     
  25. Paul 13

    Paul 13 Chaotic Neutral & Unstable Genius Staff Member

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    lmesiter... Vice President, Creativity and Marketing

    Richie Incognito... President of Family Relations / Death Benefits
     
  26. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=-

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    First official action: Boobies.
    Wait, I'm not a former dolphins player.

    Sent from my Transformer TF101 using Tapatalk 4
     
  27. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=-

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    The lack of Brandon Marshall is disappointing.

    Sent from my Transformer TF101 using Tapatalk 4
     
  28. MAFishFan

    MAFishFan Team Tannehill

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    5 yard bullet passes, bahahahahaha
     
  29. Fin-Omenal

    Fin-Omenal Initiated

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    Thee...Ohio State University

    I know...

    I wish he was still a Dolphin also.
     
  30. Jimmy James

    Jimmy James Ron Swanson

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    Eddie Moore: Captain of the kicking *** in bar fights unit

    Tony Bua: Director of long highlight reels (looped endlessly edition)

    J.J. Johnson: Head of j-j-j-just give me the damn ball operations

    Abdul-Karim al-Jabbar: President of the name uniqueness committee
     
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  31. Alex44

    Alex44 Boshosaurus Rex

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    Jamar Fletcher. Head of burnt toast operations.

    Daunte Culpepper. Head trainer in respect to knee recovery.
     
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  32. Aquafin

    Aquafin New Member

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    the poor house
    add Eddie Moore director of getting his *** beaten by a non athlete at IHOP .

    add JASON TAYLOR = director of being twinkle toes in the dancing competition.

    add Lamar Thomas genius at large as the offensive coordinator .

    add Randy McMichael as head coach because he has a face of innocents and is a vocal leader.
     
  33. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=-

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    Karim Abdul Jabar: VP Wrong Dude Services

    Sent from my Transformer TF101 using Tapatalk 4
     
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  34. RGF

    RGF THE FINSTER Club Member

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    Ted Ginn Jr. : Director of Personnel`s Family Backround History .
     
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  35. Fin-Omenal

    Fin-Omenal Initiated

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    Thee...Ohio State University
    Dan Marino: Head of "50k make baby go away" program

    Daryl Gardener: Director of Anti Bullying group

    James McKnight: President of ball bouncing off chest and hands in key moments

    Brock Marion: assistant how the f#ck was I effective returning kicks manager

    Davone Bess: CEO of footing
     
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