the all Dolphins coaching staff (if former players became coaches) Richie Incognito (really could there be anyone else destined to be a HC? Utilizes the latest techniques in player motivation) Head Coach John Avery (knows how to get players in space) Offensive coordinator AJ Feeley (well traveled, lots of experience) QB coach Eddie Blake (knows the best buffets in town, John Jerry would love him) Oline coach Cecil Collins (not only on the field but off the field... one word... elusiveness) RB coach Les Brown (can also assist with salary cap management... as uge) TE coach Larry Shannon (molds his players to be like Randy Moss) WR coach Jamar Fletcher (has devoted his life to stopping Drew Brees, showing that he was the better pick) Defensive coordinator Manuel Wright (a real motivator) dline coach Eric Kumerow (getting the most out of top grade talent) linebacker coach Louis Oliver (Playing in the snow is his area of expertise) defensive back coach Pete Stoyanovich (in the clutch) special teams coach Jason Trusnick (minimizing stupid penalties one play at a time) quality control
Jonathan Martin cheerleading coach (Note: Head Coach and cheerleading coach must not go to the cafeteria at the same time.)
I see what you did there. Shouldn't David Boston be the strength and conditioning coach for his legendary durability? Wouldn' Dimitrius Underwood be the perfect team sports psychologist?
Maybe not coaches per se, but organizational positions to be filled. Greg Camarillo: VP of Under-appreciated, Undrafted Free Agent Development Karlos Dansby: VP of Over-paid, Under-appreciative Player Development Channing Crowder: VP of Pissing Your Pants on Gameday Operations Vontae Davis: VP of Community Grandmamma Outreach Sean Smith: VP of Getting Your Hair Did, Girl Jason Allen: VP of Field-turf Traction Chad Henne: VP of 5-yard Bullet-passes Yeremiah Bell: VP of Gettin' All Swole Phillip Wheeler: VP of Getting Run Over or 3rd Down Penalty Conversion Operations (premature but w/e) Ted Ginn Jr: VP of Community Family Out-reach, Assistant Executive Officer of Out of Bounds Operations Brandon Marshall: Senior VP of Out of Bounds Operations
Average? That's a laugh. As a Dolphin... Booker 194 catches 2627 yards 11 touchdowns That's just catching the ball, not what he did as a passer Boston 4 catches 80 yards 0 touchdowns QED
Jay Fiedler: Special analyst for down-field throwing Brian Griese: Manager for exceeding generational expectations Ray Lucas: Tee boy
Bob Griese: Assistant Director of Being Drunk in the Broadcast Booth. Nat Moore: Director of Being Drunk in the Broadcast Booth, Director of Helicopters. Vernon Carey: VP of Big-*** Scary Frog Stories, Assistant Representative of How Not to Look When Reporting to Camp John Jerry: Head Representative of How Not to Look When Reporting to Camp (premature) Derek Hagan: Director of Looking Like a Sure-fire Playmaker Daunte Culpepper: Head Representative on Injury Prognostications Matt Moore: VP of Holy **** I'm Still on Their Payroll Operations (premature) Jason Allen: Senior VP of Drafted in the 1st Round OMGLOL AJ Feely: Senior VP of Don't Ever Sign Philadelphia-system QBs
Heath Evans: Senior Executive VP of Talking **** About The Franchise, President of Knob-gargling Bill Belichick Operations
Jonathan Martin: VP of Feelings, Assistant VP of Sucking at Football Operations Richie Incognito: VP of ****ting In Your Mouth Operations Chad Johnson: Senior VP of ***** Please Shut the **** Up About the Condoms Already Operations
John Beck: Director of Good-guy Character Development, Senior VP of of Fumbling the Snap Operations David Martin: Senior VP of Hands Reagan Mauia: Senior VP of Juggernaut Activities
Nick Saban: Director of honesty and public relations Zach Thomas: Operator of head protection for toddlers. Pat Surtain: Head of domestic disturbance prevention Brent Grimes: Head of domestic disturbance prevention Bryan Cox: Lead sign language interpretation expert
lmesiter... Vice President, Creativity and Marketing Richie Incognito... President of Family Relations / Death Benefits
First official action: Boobies. Wait, I'm not a former dolphins player. Sent from my Transformer TF101 using Tapatalk 4
Eddie Moore: Captain of the kicking *** in bar fights unit Tony Bua: Director of long highlight reels (looped endlessly edition) J.J. Johnson: Head of j-j-j-just give me the damn ball operations Abdul-Karim al-Jabbar: President of the name uniqueness committee
Jamar Fletcher. Head of burnt toast operations. Daunte Culpepper. Head trainer in respect to knee recovery.
add Eddie Moore director of getting his *** beaten by a non athlete at IHOP . add JASON TAYLOR = director of being twinkle toes in the dancing competition. add Lamar Thomas genius at large as the offensive coordinator . add Randy McMichael as head coach because he has a face of innocents and is a vocal leader.
Dan Marino: Head of "50k make baby go away" program Daryl Gardener: Director of Anti Bullying group James McKnight: President of ball bouncing off chest and hands in key moments Brock Marion: assistant how the f#ck was I effective returning kicks manager Davone Bess: CEO of footing