Now it is time for you to waste your time as I waste my time by writing my thoughts on the Miami Dolphins roster during this time. It is time for Dol-Fan Dupree's 2014 Manifesto. The yearly article that has been hated by few, loved by none and enjoyed by a couple. Sit back and relax. Also read, it is hard to enjoy this if you do not read. Unless you don't know how, then I understand. Quarterbacks: Ryan Tannehill: Here is player I am really excited about. He has improved both years he has been a quarterback and he is already better than Chad Henne. In fact, I think he is the best Dolphin quarterback since Marino. Yes, yes, Fielder had some decent years and Pennington had the best, however one thing I like in my quarterbacks is the ability to not be made of glass. I think Tannehill can make a pretty big year. He has the arm, he has the smarts, and he has the legs. He is everything you want in a quarterback minus amazing success. If he was drafted in a year with Locker and Ponder people would be singing his praises – KEEP Matt Moore: The quarterback with the name like was born in a Stan Lee Universe. He is 4 million dollars. That is a lot of money to sit on the bench. I do not have a lot of faith in him if Tannehill goes down. Plus the fact that he looked like he didn't care much in last preseason. Yes, he was probably sick of running from his life dealing with a line that was so poorly coached that I can't even think of a good metaphor. Still I don't think that money can be used for something better – CUT Pat Devlin: I believe the roster spot is between him and Moore since Devlin is in his third year and if he isn't ready to take up the role as back up, why keep him around? Unless he is like a third coach type quarterback. I haven't seen proof of that. Plus his name makes me think of Devil. Good enough reason to keep him around. Miami could use some deals with the Devil. Heck they should have used one to fix the offensive line. - KEEP Brock Jensen: Watching his highlight video I wonder why he wasn't drafted. Yes, he played in a small school. Yes, he picks up his back leg like woman at the ending kiss in an 80s movie. However his arm looks really good. Actually looks strong enough for most NFL throws, especially with that picking up the back leg and he looks accurate. I am not saying he should be a high pick, however I have seen much worse quarterbacks be chosen in a draft. I think this draft was deep. He looks like he is worth developing – KEEP Runningbacks: Lamar Miller: Lamar Miller is a player who should be better than he is. He is very fast. Very very fast, yet sometimes when in the open field, instead of just trying to use his fastness he tries to use his O.K. at best juking ability. When he maybe be able to beat the guy with speed. If Miami does run a lot out of the shotgun, I believe that would best suit his style of running. I do like the way he bounces to the outside and uses his speed. - KEEP Daniel Thomas: His one skill is his ability to quickly hit the hole. The problem is, he isn't that good at finding the hole and if there is another player near the hole, he isn't going to get any yards. Well he is also really good at catching out of the backfield. It is weird with how many runs he had during college he still runs like a quarterback. I believe a lot of people will finally get their wish – CUT Knowshon Moreno: The thing I don't like about him is the fact that Knowshon is not a funny name. It seems like it is going to be a funny name. A name you can make a lot of jokes about. However, you really can't. Not funny jokes. Just jokes that are like, “Yea, I see what you are trying to do, but that isn't funny.” They really should be. He isn't a great runningback, but whatever Daniel Thomas can do, he can do better and more things. - KEEP Mike Gillslee: Showed so little last year. Doesn't look that athletic. Another year under his belt, but what? I just don't see it. His college tape wasn't that exciting. His pro tape didn't look any better. He doesn't look athletic enough to be in the NFL – CUT Damien Williams: A player that got in trouble, however is very talented. His college tape is exciting. He is pretty fast with some good jukes. Not everyone is a saint. Some people are sinners. Well all people are sinners. Sheesh, that is a discussion for another day. What I talking about? - Keep Orleans Darkwa: In a funny coincidence Orleans Darkwa was the name of my first Ranger in D & D. Good size. Decent speed. I am going to have two UDFA make the team at running back. Am I crazy? AM I CRAZY? Just a little – KEEP Marcus Thigpen: He is still a runningback on the MiamiDolphins.com roster. What do you call a runningback who the coaches rarely ever use him running the ball at running back? - CUT Wide Receiver: Mike Wallace: He is fast. - KEEP Brian Hartline: I haven't seen a receiver be the best receiver on the team for two years, actually get over 1,000 yards and still have so many fans dislike him. Yes, he isn't perfect and maybe a little overpaid. He makes big catches. He is really good for Tannehill. His ability to catch on the sideline is top notch. - KEEP Brandon Gibson: It is hard to win your job on the bench. He is still coming back from injury. He was a good surprise last year. However his contract is pretty big and Matthews was pretty effective in the slot. - CUT Rishard Matthews: This guy has some amazing catches over the defender. I enjoy watching him play. It is like the chip on his shoulder has a chip on its shoulder. Hopefully the doghouse thing is overstated – KEEP Armon Binns: Last year's winner of the Brian Manning award gets his chance to do it again. I haven't seen anything special about him. With pads he looks like an average wide receiver. He is 6-3. That is about it. - CUT Ryan Spadola: I had a spandola once. It was delicious. - CUT Kevin Cone: Who? What? How? Why? I think that is all the questions. Wait, there is one more. Ummm – CUT Rantavious Wooten: Why do they sign these small guys when they have little to no chance of making the team? In using google to study the origin of the name Rantavious, the only thing I could find is it sounds like a mean emperor. At least that joke wasn't racist – CUT Stephen Williams: I was honestly shocked when the Seahawk cut him. Their wide receiving corps is really weak and he couldn't make it. Even with making some big catches in preseason. That makes you wonder. As a wise man once said, “Things that make you go hmmmmm?” Man I am old – CUT Damian Williams: New kick returner who actually can help the offense more than two players a season. - KEEP Matt Hazel: Improved every year he was a college. A very hard worker. Compared to Cecil Shorts III. Who is also from Coastal Carolina and has many of the same measurables. Also in doing this I never cut draft picks. It is a tradition. All drafts are perfect in the offseason – KEEP Jarvis Landry: I think Rudy would have been a better movie if it was about someone like Jarvis Landry. Why watch an entire movie to watch some stupid kid make one tackle. Here is a player who isn't fast enough, isn't quick enough, doesn't have great hops and isn't really strong. Yet he is still one of the best wide receivers in college football. Now there is a movie. Well if he was white or adopted by a white family or if West Philadelphia he was born and raised. He does have amazingly big hands. I am sure that makes him popular with ladies and the basketballs. You know basketballs like to get palmed. If you know what I am saying – KEEP Tight Ends: Charles Clay: You know how fans have that one player where they were actually right about and a lot of other people were wrong. So they then bring up that player in every conversation, where if someone disagrees with them, they say, “Well I was right about, blah blah blah” Well you can add, “Well I was right about Charles Clay” to every one of my player summaries. In a voice so smarmy and know-it-ally that you want to punch my face, but you don't because chances are, I am bigger than you and you do not want to take the chance that I know how to fight – KEEP Michael Egnew: After Charles Clay, it is hard to choose who to do next. I will pick Egnew because he has the worst last name. A player who suffers from resting dumb face, which causes fans to think he is in a perpetually state of confusion, he seems to be improving. His blocking went from terrible to being one of the better blocking tight ends on the team. That does say a lot about the other tightends, however, that is still pretty impressive. It does mean he has some fight in him – KEEP Dion Sims: Which leads me to Dion Sims. A player that was supposed to be a better blocking tight end than Egnew, who turned out to be not a better blocking tight end than Egnew. A rookie whose biggest skills in college was his ability to block, and when he got to the pros he didn't have that skill. I do like his soft hands, however Philbin seems to be less than enthusiastic about him. - CUT Arthur Lynch: When he was drafted, all I could think was, “What?” Then I drank a beer. They are not related. Beer is awesome. Have you ever tried it? It is so good. Drink a beer now! He is a new Fasano. Which isn't much to get excited about, however if Fasano was the 2nd tight end, I think he would be more popular. He wasn't bad, just not exciting. Sometimes it is good to have a not exciting jack of all trades tight end. Especially if you already have Clay. He is the draft pick I am close to cutting, but my policy states that all offseason drafts are perfect and I am going to date Britney Spears before she went crazy. No, I don't have a time machine. That is just how great I am in bed in this fantasy world. I will do the crazy out of her. Keeping it PG for the ladies. They like that. - KEEP Harold Hoskins: I like to call him Clay Jr. Which I believe is a game on SNES. I loved SNES. So many fun game. - KEEP Emmanuel Ogbuehi: Omar likes him. SO - CUT Linemen: Branden Albert: Wow did Miami pay too much for him. I hope Jamar Taylor is worth it. - KEEP Ja'Wuan James: A player I was not too excited about when Miami drafted him. Mostly because I really wanted Cooks. Man did I want Cooks. I started to watch his tape. He makes the best defensive ends in college go from excited to frustrated to just bored. Dee Ford when 23rd, and by the end of the tape, it looked like he just didn't really want to play anymore. He is a great wide stance and an amazing punch. In a way he is the anti-Martin, who had no punch. I am looking forward to seeing him in pads. - KEEP Jason Fox: He will be a back up. Can't be worse than Garner. Man was a crappy left tackle. - KEEP Michal Phillipp: A player who was cut from the Browns. Do not google just his name. You will not like the poses. It is not him, unless he is a skinny buff white guy – CUT Evan Finkenberg: This name is made up. It is like he is from Revenge of the Nerds. Man I am old! His name is from some modern day reference of nerdy that kids are into these days. Get off my lawn! - CUT Tyler Larsen: This dude is strong. So strong that he once had sex with a bear. That was either him or some guy on game of thrones. Oh well. Why not. - KEEP Davonte Wallace: He is not fast – CUT Billy Turner: I liked him in his movie Driven. The sequel to the hit movie drive. That guy can act. I watched the game he played against Kansas State. He did not look like he was overwhelmed. He looked very whelmed. I love how I never saw him standing around. I hate seeing linemen stand around and hit no one. - KEEP Mike Pouncey: Great athlete at center. Should really keep his mouth shut and hire a PR person. Why don't football players hire PR people? There are entire industries that exist that will help you get liked for money. When you are liked, you can make more money. I mean. MONEY! - KEEP Sam Brenner: He wasn't really good last year. I don't know if he can improve. - CUT Samuel Longo: His last name sounds like it is from Star Wars. Lucas really does suck at naming things. How about I take a word and add “o”, I will count my money now. I don't like counting my money. It just gets me sad. I wish I invented Star Wars. - CUT David Arkin: The thing I like about this guy is the fact that I know nothing about him – CUT Micajah Reynolds: Umm yea – CUT Dallas Thomas: Might be a surprise player. Seemed to work hard during the offseason and is ready to make a stand. Good luck man. - KEEP Shelley Smith: Should be an average player. Which would be a HUGE improvement over Jerry or Incognito last season. Man did Incognito suck. - KEEP Nate Garner: My annual tradition is also cutting Nate Garner. It is our special bond together. How I keep on predicting he is cut and he keeps on making the team. Why stop now? - CUT Defense Line: Cameron Wake: The best player on the team. Hands down. He is amazing. Even with an off season he put up great pass rushing efficiency. He takes care of his body. I don't think he is going to slow down this season. Unless he hurts himself. - KEEP Dion Jordan: A player who generally made an impact when he was on the field. The problem was he wasn't on the field. Some people blame him. Some people blame the coaches. I am one of those players who blame the coaches. I am not a fan of the current coaches. I am a fan of Dion Jordan. Adds some speed to Miami's defense. Plus it adds some versatility. I was excited when Miami drafted him. I am excited to see him tear it up this season – KEEP Olivier Vernon: He totally exceeded my expectations. He has played really well and he is still learning his position. He has really good measurables and had double digit sacks. Can he do it again? I believe so. - KEEP Terrence Fede: His college tape is fun to watch. It is like watching someone who is really good at Madden, creating a super player and making the other team small little girly men. Which he should, if he is worth drafting out of Marist. I am interesting see what he is like with pads. Chances are if he make the team he will be redshirted. One of those players who is always inactive. I really wish they would just get rid of inactive. I have no idea why they have it. NFL is so slow to change – KEEP Tevin Mims: This is the first I heard of this guy. That is not true. I looked him up once. At least that is what my browser just told me. Shows how much he is worth remembering – CUT Randy Starks: It is funny how you read a lot of rumors how a player doesn't like a coach and then when he has a chance to leave, all of a sudden he signs with the team he hates so much. Weird. It is like all internet rumors are not true. - KEEP Jared Odrick: He had a really good year last year. I am hoping for big things. This is his chance to earn a good contract. Keep on dancing man. Keep on dancing. - KEEP Earl Mitchell: A 3-4 noseguard who is born to play a 4-3. Luckily Miami does play a 4-3, and mostly 5-2, because in reality this is becoming a nickel league. - KEEP Kamal Johnson: I bet you that he is going to look amazing during preseason games because Kacy Rogers is the best coach on the Miami Dolphins. - CUT A.J. Francis: This is his time to shine. Looked worth keeping last season and then Miami cut him. Looked to become one of THOSE players who go onto big and better things when he was picked up by the Patriots. Probably going to be a disappointment, however the offseason is for optimism. At least for fans who love themselves and don't want to murder their family. - KEEP Anthony Johnson: Last time I saw a player like this fall was Rodrique Wright. We saw how that worked out. - KEEP Isaako Aaitui: If there was a minor league, he would be a minor league star. Might even develop enough to be a good rotational defensive lineman. Yet there isn't a developmental league. Isn't that great? - CUT Garrison Smith: I am sure cutting a lot of players from Georgia. I did not like living there – CUT Linebackers: Koa Misi: Miami Dolphins best linebacker. Let that sync in. Now put down the razor. Lets hope he becomes a good middle linebacker. I am actually a fan of his. I like his game. - KEEP Philip Wheeler: He played with reckless abandon. He missed a lot of tackles. The only reason I don't say, CUT is that it is cheaper to keep him. I hope he plays better – KEEP Dannell Ellerbe: He had the playmaking ability of Dansby without the above average play. By playmaking ability, I mean no playmaking ability because Dansby is another player who goes on to bigger and better things when leaving the Dolphins. Maybe Miami needs better cocaine. - KEEP Jelani Jenkins: He looked decent last year. - KEEP Jonathan Freeny: He is related to Dwight. However not close. So not close that Dwight didn't even greet him after a game. He is the definition of “meh”. - CUT Jason Trusnik: I don't like him. - CUT Jordan Tripp: I keep on reading these amazing things about this guy. How athletic he is. How good he looks on the field. I look on Youtube, where everyone is a star and I don't see it. Nothing about him looks NFL. I don't get it. What are you seeing that I am not? - KEEP Darrell Johnson: One of the players who I watched and wondered why they weren't drafted. I think this draft must have been very deep because this guy looks good. Really good blitzing linebacker. I am hoping he is good at special teams so I can finally say goodbye to Trusnik – KEEP Chris McCain: One of those players who probably would have been drafted but did something stupid. Got kicked off the team and had to try his hand in the NFL. - CUT Tariq Edwards: He could surprise – CUT Marcus Thompson: Grew up a Dolphin fan. Living out his dream. Plus he is some quicks. - KEEP Andrew Wilson: Kind of slow. He is tall. I give him that. - CUT Defense backs: Brent Grimes: Way to go Ireland. Did something right with signing. Really good tackler for someone so tiny. I really like him. I am happy he is a Dolphin. - KEEP Cortland Finnegan: Why is he a Dolphin? Nolan Carroll was better than this guy. Sean Smith is better than this guy. He was terrible, freaking terrible. Hopefully, I am wrong. He looks like a worse signing than ANY of the Ireland signings. Including Naanee and Wilford. Who at least there was some hope for at the beginning of the season. So much money too. How is this guy worth it? What were they thinking? I mean come one. Terrible. Freaking terrible. Just terrible. - KEEP (unfortunately) Jamar Taylor: Almost died last year. Probably should stop almost dying. That does not help your NFL career. Good athletism. Hopefully will overtake Finnegan – KEEP Will Davis: Omar doesn't like him. Makes me feel better about him. I am hoping he turns into a dime player. Will probably be one of those fun defensive backs that makes an amazing interception one play and then lets up a big play the next. He also needs to get over his fear of tackling. - KEEP Walt Aikens: Wouldn't surprise me if they moved him to safety. - KEEP Anthony Gaitor: A new signing. A slot guy, I believe. - CUT Jalil Brown: Wow, been in the NFL for four years. That is impressive. - CUT Don Jones: He is a CB? I thought he was a safety. Should have turned his safety on his twitter. “Are you sure you want to post this? It is really stupid.” That would help so many NFL players from posting stupid things. Actually should say that to all twitter users. Twitter is stupid – CUT Steven Clarke: Why do you put an “e” at the end of Clark? That isn't how you spell. - CUT Demetrius Wright: A player who I watch and I am surprised he wasn't drafted. Beautiful tackling form. Likes the way he hits people. I want him to make the team. - KEEP Jordan Kovacs: Slow, but from Michigan. Do I need to say anything else? Probably if I want to look like I know what I am talking about – CUT Micheal Thomas: The hero of the Patriot win. That awesome play against Welker did make up for the long 4th down that was completed because he didn't know where to line up. He looks like a good back up. - KEEP Louis Delmas: I once traded for him in Madden. That means he is going to be awesome! - KEEP Reshad Jones: The tale of two Jones. Jones of 2012 was awesome. The 2nd best at his position. The Jones of 2013 was one of the worst at his position. Which Jones is going to show up in 2014. I am hoping for the good Jones. - KEEP Special Teams: Caleb Sturgis: Might as well keep him. If they cut him, he will just be awesome on his next team. - KEEP Brandon Fields: He costs over 3 million dollars. For a punter. The 2nd best player on the team. How sad is that? Well he is a really good punter at least – KEEP John Denney: One of the jokes of long snappers is that it is bad when you know who they are, because that means they messed up. However a lot of fans know who John Denney is because he is also really good at coverage and is generally one of the first players down the field. He is an expensive long snapper, but he is worth it. He is good at his job. - KEEP Coaches: Joe Philbin: I am not a fan. I don't see him as a good coach. I think Cam Cameron would do a better job with this team. His lack of charisma doesn't help, however his poor choices does. I don't care if he wanted to get rid of Incognito, that doesn't make his other choices look good. Just makes him look lucky that Martin went crazy. Also do you really know that Martin wouldn't have also just blamed Pouncey or any other player for his inability to fit in and suckiness? Bill Lazor: He gives me hope. Mostly because his last name is Lazor. That is an awesome last name. John Benton: It is nice that the Dolphins have a NFL quality offensive line coach. So very nice. The fact that they don't have Suckey McGee as their offensive line coach gives me a lot of faith. Kevin Coyle: He is O.K. I am hoping he improves more. Kacy Rodgers: This man is amazing. The best coach on the team. His players always look ready to play and know what they are doing. He is a god among men. Overall: I am hopeful this offseason. If last years rookies step up, Miami can be a really good team. Especially if their offense improves to score some quick points, because they have the defensive line to to pressure on the quarterback. Especially if Vernon, Jordan and Shelby improve. I predict 16-0. Like every offseason. Suck it!
I enjoyed reading that, so thanks for posting it. I have a reason for keeping Trusnik: he went to Ohio Northern University in Ada, Ohio. Ada, Ohio is where they make the footballs used in NFL games. I think Trusnik might have some kind of connection with the footballs, which could haunt this team if they wrong him somehow. Also, Binns went to Pasadena High School in Pasadena, California. They have a pretty good farmers' market there on Saturdays. We go there to buy sourdough bread. Bread is a dietary staple. Also, I used to have a bootleg live Van Halen show that was recorded at Pasadena High School before they became famous. Binns is not yet famous. Coincidence? I think not. These are solid reasons for keeping him.
Caleb Sturgis: Might as well keep him. If they cut him, he will just be awesome on his next team. - KEEP My reaction at first........then it was , because it is true.....well played DD..
Dol-Fan Dupree, only disagreement would with cutting Garner & Moore. great job, looks like you invested serious time & effort in writing it.
I'm all for improving the team, for sure. If he gets beaten out, so be it. Still, it's nice to see a D-3 guy stick around the league for so long. There aren't a lot of guys from ONU with careers like that, and it says something about his effort.
Nice job, other than leaving out Derrick Shelby. I doubt both AJ Francis and Anthony Johnson make the roster ahead of Shelby.
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Good post OP (almost great except for the last bit). I agree with a lot of it except that I think Sims is a keep and Egnew is a cut. Obviously i disagree with your assessment of some of the coaches as well. Coyle's scoring defense is ranked 5th over the past 2 seasons with only Seattle, San Fran, Carolina and Cincinnati ahead of us. That is an impressive feat when you consider three of those teams protect the defense with a ground and pound offensive strategy, and the Bengals are completely loaded on offense and are able to protect the D with an overwhelming offense at times. We are trying to protect our D with a great offense but our offense has been putrid, so the D should get a lot of props for continuing to perform well in spite of the offense. And you say who cares if Philbin wanted Incognito gone, Martin probably would have spazzed out anyway. Well, Philbin wanted an option to Martin as well. http://articles.sun-sentinel.com/20...nd-philbin-offensive-coordinator-mike-sherman
Well Done! Several highly entertaining comments! Cracked me up. Very good analysis as well. Only I think Don Jones stays. His athleticism is off the charts and he is a proven STer. Thanks!
You slag off Tripp and then say....KEEP. Is that an opinion based on everybody elses opinion? I thought it was your post?
