The Five Stages of Grief - Miami Dolphins Edition

CREDIT - Finsider - Max Himmelrich

"Free agency is coming up, which means that Dolphins fans will be able to start the usually heartbreaking process all over again. Yes, we’ve all become jaded. The team will make a big signing, and their March Championship trophy will not translate to success in September.

While we have all been through this, there is never a time that is less heartbreaking. When the season rolls around, and the team puts out a poor product on the field, it is disheartening. It always will be. However, there are ways to get through it.

The five stages of grief are as follows:
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

This order does not exactly apply to the Miami Dolphins. It almost moves in reverse. However, just to make sure that everyone makes it through the next month, I have put together a very strong coping mechanism for Dolphins fans.

The Five Stages of Free Agency:

1st) Joy
The initial surge in excitement is nothing to be ashamed of. We’ve all been there.
Super Bowl champion Dannell Ellerbe? Sign me up.
Mike Wallace? That dude is so fast.
Phillip Wheeler? Well, he was pretty bad from the start. But Dannell Ellerbe!
Nobody can deny that they are sucked into the Dolphins excitement during the offseason. However, it still always leads to phase two…

2nd) Denial
"Well, Kiko Alonso is pretty prone to injury…"
"Mike Wallace does struggle with effort…"
"Dannell Ellerbe has only started a few games…"
SORRY, CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF THE DOLPHINS SUPER BOWL PARADE.
The excitement is usually blinding. Fans become unable to see the problems with the teams’ moves. Once again, it happens to everyone.
Before 2015, it was reasonable to expect that Suh, Wake, and Vernon would dominate on the line, with Tannehill taking the next step on offense. However, the excitement blinded us to the problems on the offensive line and in the coaching staff.
Dolphins fans cannot be bothered with your negativity at this time of year. It is championship season in Miami, and the team’s fans will eternally silence anyone who points out any downside in the free agents the Dolphins have signed.

3rd) Bargaining
"It’s just Week 1. The layers are just rusty."
"Mike Wallace will build up chemistry with Tannehill over time."
"Dannell Ellerbe will settle into a starting role."
Miami Dolphins fans consistently find themselves in this position. This is the famed excuse making of the fan base. The team finds ways to lose, and fans find ways to defend it.
In terms of human nature, there’s nothing wrong with this. Why would we want to admit that our organizational structure and mentality are completely off base and that the team should be entirely rebuilt? That would be depressing. Let’s just give reasons why we think it will get better in the future.
Even if it doesn’t, the pain of acceptance is at times worse than simply denying that your team has a problem.
I’m sure any psychologist would disagree with me on this, but what do they know? There isn’t anything they have seen in their work that compares to the pain and suffering of life as a Dolphins fan.
Unless they live in Cleveland.

4th) Anger
This usually sets in by the last quarter of the team’s schedule. It really isn’t sadness. That portion comes later. Now, it’s anger.
Banners fly over Sun Life Stadium reading phrases that we have all read on Sundays.
"Fire Philbin!"
"Get rid of Ireland!"
"Sell the team, Stephen Ross!"
This phase also includes some denial, because it assumes that firing some of the staff members will change the team culture. It is an assumption that just a few personnel moves are what separate the Dolphins from success.
A bad culture, once inside of an organization, permeates across all branches. Whether it is the scouting team, the coaching staff, the front office, or the players, it takes years to rid a franchise of poor atmosphere and culture.
The anger felt by fans only makes this culture even worse, as ownership is pressured into making shortsighted decisions designed to help keep the team successful from a business perspective. Should we fault Stephen Ross? No. Will the fans do it anyway? Almost certainly.
This stage is the most familiar, and arguably lasts longer than any other in the process. Usually, this will span the months of November through March. Then….

5th) Acceptance
Most Dolphins fans will eventually reach this point. You know, the point where you’re at the water cooler and just laugh about how bad your team is. It isn’t even conversation. You just make eye contact with another Dolphins fan and laugh.
This is when things come full circle. We all think the organization couldn’t get any more dysfunctional and that we couldn’t get any more gullible. I mean, why did we think the big money signing was going to work this time? Isn’t that the definition of insanity?
Yes. Yes it is. And Dolphins fans are the most insane human beings I know.

6th) Amnesia
I know what you’re thinking, "Max, there are only 5 stages of grief. What is this doing here?"
Well, being a Dolphins fan is worse than any grief the traditional process had to deal with, so we added a 6th.
Amnesia. This will set in usually a week after free agency. The final stage in the Dolphins’ offseason process is also the most important, because it is what starts us back at the beginning of this vicious cycle.
Amnesia is the coal that powers the Miami Dolphins hype train. Every year by Week 17 you think you are out of coal, then Stephen Ross comes in with his checkbook and shovels in some more.
So yes, Dolphins fans, the process will begin again. We all say that we won’t fall victim to it. Every single time. However, with the same vigor that we reject the team that disappointed us the previous year, we embrace the new team. At the end of the day, that’s what is so beautiful about sports. Each year, despite constant disappointment, Dolphins fans can band together and build up the energy and excitement that makes an NFL season so exciting.

Then we go 7-9."