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The Middle Urinal Rule

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by mor911, Dec 29, 2008.

  1. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    no court can kill the burning fire in my heart...............
     
  2. Phinperor

    Phinperor formerly In_Flames Luxury Box

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    Don't mind Lucky, he's just pissed off because his mother was the maid that had to 'handle the situation'...:shifty:
     
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  3. mor911

    mor911 pooping

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    Holy Mother of Craps

    Which brings me to my next rule I would like you guys to help me clarify...

    The crapper stall rule. Even though several companies share our restroom, it's not very busy. If you go in the restroom, you're generally alone. If someone is taking a dump, you can leave for 5 minutes and comeback to enjoy a lonely peaceful dump. This is extremely important because there is only 2 crapper stalls in the facility.

    There's an unspoken rule in the office (and I think the world in this situation), that if someone is taking a dump, you give that person a few minutes to finish his business, then have the big stall (AKA the Doc Zoom Stall - No offense bud, but you guys get the best crapper stalls) all to yourself...

    UNLESS YOUR NAME IS MINDWARP --

    With no regard for the guy taking a crap, Mindwarp will regularly plow into the mini stall next to you and unleash what can only be described as satan and his spawn spewing from the underworld. It literally sounds like a cement truck is unloading half dried cement paste into the toilet bowl.

    I would understand if this were an emergency... But it has happened in several occasions and to several members of the staff here at work. I'm concerned that Mindwarp may not understand proper crapper etiquette.

    Discuss.
     
  4. BigDogsHunt

    BigDogsHunt Enough talk...prove it!

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    I give Mindwarp his due (or doo in this case). If a Man's gotta go, he's gotta go, and if not; perhaps he is like minded to moi!

    In the public crapper leaving a floater that has the power?/length? nay, audacity! to partially exit the water level and explore the fresh air (ala Mr. Hanky) is the greatest gift I can bestow upon my common man.

    Leaving that snake like vessel for the next to admire is as close as some will ever come to knowing how a healthy bowel operates.

    Those are world championship class dueces!!!!!

    If you ever come across one, you may flush, but always remember a HERO walks among you!
     
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  5. Mindwarp

    Mindwarp FFH

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    ahhh did the mor get sand in his vag again? Did someone go poop next to you again? this time it wasn't me, and when A dude needs to poop, you got to go release the hounds, we are not all women like you who poop flowers and need to time to paint there nails while crapping... some of us wait till we have to explode the toilet go in there destroy the ****er and roll out..


    sometimes, there are casualties of wars. you happened to be it once, and Dan the other time.. 1up got me the other day, so **** it happens..
     
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  6. mor911

    mor911 pooping

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    Rules are rules man... Wait 5 then take a crap. How hard is that?
     
  7. Mindwarp

    Mindwarp FFH

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    Over There.
    1.. its not a rule, its a pretty boy rule,

    2. 5 mins? that's the diffrence between having to go home and change your pants and a big smile.

    3. keep fighting the good fight mor, but make sure you hold down your skirt, you don't want your panties to start showing and you complain about that next. ;)
     
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  8. mor911

    mor911 pooping

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    Not complaining, simply upholding the law. Laws are laws because they save lives. It's not like you come in there with Fabreeze. You bring the stench of 35 decaying corpses with you. One day you're going to kill an innocent child.
     
  9. HardKoreXXX

    HardKoreXXX Insensitive to the Touch

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    Tough call.

    Usually I enjoy taking a peaceful dump alone and would extend the same courtesy to co-workers. There are times, however, when the Cosby kids need to be dropped off at the pool and you CANT afford to be late.

    The 5 minute rule is usually one I adhere to, but anything after 5 is MORE than enough courtesy and all bets are off.

    The man in the stall knows he's on the clock after said courtesy walk-in and should commence in disaster cleanup mode (wiping), which can take up to 4 and 1/2 minutes.
     
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  10. mor911

    mor911 pooping

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    No doubt... If I'm crapping and I see the good old Foot in and walk out routine, I know it's time to get out. But Warp doesn't even do that LOL
     
  11. HardKoreXXX

    HardKoreXXX Insensitive to the Touch

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    So bottom line, Warp is not welcome at my house.
     
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  12. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    howcome when you guys talk about taking a crap you use all these metaphors?

    and fyi that is a pretty boy rule. Im with warp on this one and would simultaneously take a crap with him any day.
     
  13. Samphin

    Samphin Κακό σκυλί ψόφο δεν έχει

    Holding it an extra five minutes can cause serious harm though. Basically, it can turn your meat loaf into a hearty stew. That is worse for everyone, quite frankly.

    No man rule on this one. If you gotta crap, you gotta crap. The rule should be to find your nearest Home Depot, and poop in the sink/urinal, like the lovely prize I came across the other day when stopping to lose some weight...
     
  14. Fin D

    Fin D Sigh

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    Greatest. Post. Ever.
     
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  15. HardKoreXXX

    HardKoreXXX Insensitive to the Touch

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    Metaphors are like awesome boobs on an ugly chick Lucky. They dont really do anything, but make things a little more interesting.

    (Yes I used a boob metaphor to explain why I use metaphors... I have won the internet)
     
  16. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    *note to self* never ask bigdoghunt for anything for christmas, he will leave a bow on the toilet and a monster within the porcelain *end note*
     
  17. SICK

    SICK Lounge Moderator

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    would you tap your foot 3 times under the stall also???? :shifty:
     
  18. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    only if he buys me dinner first............. I'm not a stall whore!!!
     
  19. SICK

    SICK Lounge Moderator

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    how dumb of me, i should have realized you have morals :knucks:
     
  20. Mindwarp

    Mindwarp FFH

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    Lucky, Mindwarp, Samphin vs Mor and hardcore..

    on Fanhell.com level that definitely classifies this as a pretty boy rule.
     
  21. mor911

    mor911 pooping

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    Sam isn't on your side... He said earlier that he'd give a fiver
     
  22. Mindwarp

    Mindwarp FFH

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    Over There.
    see above bolded text from sam.
     
  23. Samphin

    Samphin Κακό σκυλί ψόφο δεν έχει

    I did? I don't think I did. Maybe I did. Who knows. I am officially a fence sitter on this one.

    I understand both parties' arguments. I think its a judgement call. If your *** is about to turn into a soft serve ice cream cone, I say you go, 5 minutes be damned. But if the weight just dropped, you can, and probably should wait.

    My solution is to poop at Home Depot. That whole store chain is crap.
     
  24. mor911

    mor911 pooping

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    Read the above bolded text and go to fanhell.com to see the rest of what you need to do.
     
  25. Frumundah Finnatic

    Frumundah Finnatic U Mad Miami?

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    You know there was a kid in my highschool class who always pissed bareassed, never asked him why, just assumed he was autistic.


    Myself and most people I know crap and only crap in a public bathroom if they cant possibly hold it anymore. Its a bathroom, not Pier One that smells like roses, and like Pier One you know what dangers you face upon entering the facility.

    When you gotta **** you gotta ****, I'm siding with Mindwarp on this one.
     
  26. mor911

    mor911 pooping

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    Again, you're thinking about a store or some freaking large public outlet. This is a very secluded (LOCKED FOR GOD SAKES) restroom for a limited number of patrons. It very clean for the most part and generally empty.

    If you leave for a few minutes is most always empty when you come back. But that's fine. Side with Mick Foley.
     
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  27. Mindwarp

    Mindwarp FFH

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    Over There.
    mor, give me 5 mins and ill warm up your bottle you big baby
     
  28. Phinperor

    Phinperor formerly In_Flames Luxury Box

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    You guys with your turd talk will never cease to amaze me...[​IMG]
     
  29. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    boy jason campbell you sure are a big girlish qb.
     
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  30. Big E

    Big E Plus sized porn star

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    It all makes sense now.
     
  31. femalefinfan

    femalefinfan Phillies fan Luxury Box

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    Man, I'm a chick and even I know that rule!!!
    That dude must have problems....
     
  32. Big E

    Big E Plus sized porn star

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    Gawd if you think Warp stinks up the place, you better hope your never in a bathroom with me Mor.....:shifty:
     
  33. Big E

    Big E Plus sized porn star

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    wait, chicks dont poop!!!:no:
     
  34. Samphin

    Samphin Κακό σκυλί ψόφο δεν έχει

    She is talking about the urinal rule I think.
     
  35. femalefinfan

    femalefinfan Phillies fan Luxury Box

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    Sorry, was refering to the original post regarding the urinals. Didn't get the chance to be enlighted on the poo side of the story, but now that I have, I will never allow any of the men on this board to my house. Ya'll are nasty!
     
  36. Mindwarp

    Mindwarp FFH

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    this is bullcrap... and utter lies.. women have to take numbers to pee, so I can;t even imagine the paper work you would have to fill out to poop. I seen the lines women wait in to go to the bathroom be it a event, the movies, a restaurant, a club, or even there own house.

    your lies are not welcomed in this thread.....

    just cause one of your fellow females, the mor, is in trouble, don't come to her rescue.
     
  37. Mindwarp

    Mindwarp FFH

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    Over There.



    wooops,.... my bad...
    :knucks:
     
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  38. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    li·ar (lr)
    n.
    One that tells lies.
    liar
    Noun
    a person who tells lies
     
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  39. femalefinfan

    femalefinfan Phillies fan Luxury Box

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    And how, pray tell, am I a liar lucky?
     
  40. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    you would so let me in your house..................as you would feel sorry for me.......
     
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