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anlgp's ethical homer guide to loving the dolphins

Discussion in 'Other NFL' started by anlgp, Jan 11, 2009.

  1. anlgp

    anlgp ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

    1. The team holds your allegiance. Not players. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

    2. Any other team in your division are scum. Your favorite team is the Miami Dolphins and anyone playing the Jets, Patriots or Bills. In the case of two teams from the same division playing one another that does not involve the 'Phins the team with the better record or better shot at the playoffs shall be deemed the team that should lose.

    3. The rest of the AFC is split by strength of team. If a team is good in the AFC you want them to lose to anyone else, period. (note: especially if it helps the Phins gain a playoff birth or is against the collective scum in the rest of the AFCE).

    4. If you like a team other than the Phins it has to be NFC. No question. Until the Phins and said team meet up in the super bowl. In which case it is the phins.

    5. Trades involving you and team X should preferably be an NFC team or at least a team that isn't in your division. If it comes back to bite you in the *** in the super bowl at least you stopped it from biting you in the *** before you even reached the super bowl.

    6. Acquiring players from teams in your division after they have been cut is a blessing. Given the chance to show the other team in your division they made a stupid move from letting a good player go is a blessing and should be taken at any available time.

    7. Going on the road to a division rival and knocking them out of the playoffs deserves a celebration. What that is can be decided after the victory.

    8. Brett Favre is the best thing to happen to the Jets since they drafted Vernon Gholston. Or did Favre get there before Gholston? Either way, those were some classy moves right there. Oh, knocking them out of the playoffs in their house? Golden.

    9. Stomping the NE Patriots in NE 38 to -15 via the same play for a TD at least 4 times in their own house is the sign of:

    A) A good team
    B) A good play
    C) An aging opponents defense
    D) A coach without a camera that doesn't know how to coach.
    E) All of the above.

    10. Sweeping the Bills = :lol:

    11. Thou shalt love thine draft picks until at least three (3) years have passed in which a player can then be called a bust. Unless someone is an absolute bust a la Ryan Leaf.

    12. ?
     
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  2. Roman529

    Roman529 Senior Member

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    For me there is only ONE team.....there are no second favorite teams or teams that I root for.....I live and die by the Dolphins. I hate it after the Phins lose and hearing my relatives saying, "It's only a game," .....or, "It's not life and death." To me it will always be more than a game......maybe not quite life and death, but when we win on Sunday I am completely happy until the following week, and when we lose I don't want to talk to anyone for several hours and just want to be left alone."

    BUT.....I will say that since my dad is from Philadelphia, and has been an Eagle's fan since 1940, I do hope they win it as my dad has suffered since 1960, without them winning an NFL Championship. They also haven't ever won a Superbowl, although they have been close a couple times. I just would like my dad to see his team win while his is still alive, so for the next couple weeks only I want the Eagles to win. :yes:
     
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  3. GISH

    GISH ~mUST wARN oTHERS~

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    12. If there is a bad call in the game, and it benefits the Dolphins, then it was the right call.

    13. If a quarterback for the Dolphins throws an interception, it is acceptable to compare him to Ray Lucas and Aj Feeley.

    14. If a Miami Dolphin turns his back on the team and retires a few days before training camp, then it is ok to hate him. Or even rip down your gladiator poster and tear it to sheds. Then when he returns to action, it is acceptable to love him again and believe he has changed.

    15. If an announcer says anything positive about the team Miami is playing, it is acceptable to call him an idiot and question his impartial stance on the game.

    16. If the Dolphins are eliminated from playoff contention, it is acceptable to start talking about the draft, even if it is week 8.

    17. If the Dolphins are eliminated from playoff contention, and Miami's opponent can knock out the Jets, Pats, or Bills by beating the phins, it is then acceptable to cheer for Miami to lose.

    18. If an opposing teams fan is cheering and being obnoxious in your area at Dolphin stadium, it is acceptable to laugh directly in his face everytime the phins make a big play.

    19. If Dan Marino called you and told you that you must kill your first born child in order for the Dolphins to win 5 straight Super Bowls, you know what to do.

    20. If a Dolphins player is injured during a game, it is acceptable to blame the loss on his injury, even if the Dolphins were losing before he got hurt.

    21. If Zach Thomas needed a kidney transplant, it is acceptable to volunteer your wife to donate.

    22. If a player for another team openly states that he wants to play in Miami, it is your duty to start brainwashing yourself into thinking he is the best player at his position in the entire NFL.

    23. If the Dolphins are playing against a team that has beat them in the Super Bowl, then this new game is automatically qualified as a payback meeting, even if is it week 1.

    24. If the Dolphins win and ESPN only shows one play of Miami's success, then it is acceptable to claim the entire media hates the Dolphins.

    25. If the Dolphins dont get picked to go to the Super Bowl in preseason, then the 'experts' are ******ed. If they pick miami, then they know what they are talking about.

    26. ?
     
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  4. anlgp

    anlgp ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

    26. if you are good enough to play in the NFL but get drafted by a team other than the Dolphins you should immediately request a trade.

    27?
     
  5. Uncle Rico

    Uncle Rico New Member

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    This violates rule #1
     
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  6. GISH

    GISH ~mUST wARN oTHERS~

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    no it does not.

    27. Any player who is an alltime great for the Dolphins, is automatically qualified to live forever.
     
  7. anlgp

    anlgp ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

    28. For a player to be considered an all time great he must have a flag or a spot in the ring of honor.

    29. ?
     
  8. GISH

    GISH ~mUST wARN oTHERS~

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    29. Rule #28 can be overlooked if said player is guaranteed a spot in the ring of honor upon retiring.

    30. If a Dolphins QB lead the team to the Super Bowl, he is automatically illegible to fornicate with every woman in your family, including your mother.

    31. If you are driving and see a vehicle with stickers, flags, or anything else supporting a team other than Miami posted on its vehicle, it is acceptable to flip that person off and then run them into oncoming traffic.

    32. If a rival team of the Dolphins drafts your favorite player from your favorite school, then said player is now dead to you. (Vernon Gholston = dead)

    33. If a Dolphins player is involved in a negative off the field incident, it is your duty to give him the benefit of the doubt until he is proven to be a douche bag in a court of law. If proven to be a douche bag, rule #1 takes effect, and said player may rot in hell.

    34. If the Dolphins make the playoffs, and you are scheduled to work on the day of the game, it is acceptable to call in to work and claim that an immediate family member has died. This is only acceptable because most employers don't understand the loyalty involved with being a sports fan, thus requiring you to tap into a type of loyalty they can relate with.

    35. If someone laughs at you after a Dolphins loss, or during a Dolphins losing season, it is acceptable to follow them to their house and write down their address. Then when the Dolphins are good again, you may return and decorate his home and yard with aqua and orange paint.

    36. If a member of the Dolphins is severely injured to the point he cannot leave the field upon his own power, it is your duty to hold hands with the person next to you and try to mentally force him to recover (pray).
     

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