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The Official "F My Life" Thread

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Silverphin, May 21, 2009.

  1. Fin D

    Fin D Sigh

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    - The first time I went gambling was on a gambling cruise. As soon as we hit the mile marker where the gambling could begin, my buddy walks up to a slot, drops in a dollar, and wins $100. First time, first pull. In that same amount of time, I lost $20. Not gambling mind you, I just f-ing lost a $20 bill.

    - 8 minutes before we had to stop gambling, same buddy hands me a $5 chip, and tells me to bet on black or red on the roulette table. I choose black, he chooses red. He wins. He then kept handing me a $5 chip and had me bet, while he doubled up on the opposite of what I picked. In those 8 minutes, he won $500 just by betting the opposite of me.

    - The first time I bought a scratch-off I won $20. On the way home form the store, I drive over RR tracks and my axle snaps in half. I was a mile from home. It cost me $20 to tow the car home.
     
  2. opfinistic

    opfinistic Braaaaains!

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    Peeking in Nabo's Basement
    I went into a bar in the early 90s with a good friend from Jersey. We were amazed at all the hot women there and the lack of other dudes. We were surrounded by pretty women that wanted to talk to us and take our numbers, my friend even had favors of the oral variety offered to him. We felt like King **** on Turd Mountain. We didn't see the sign by the door on the way in that it was TV night. FML
     
  3. SICK

    SICK Lounge Moderator

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    iiiiiiiiiii dont get it......:huh:
     
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  4. Big E

    Big E Plus sized porn star

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    Winner!!


    It took me ten minutes to open a beer on the air......**** my life!!:pity:
     
  5. GridIronKing34

    GridIronKing34 Silently Judging You

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    I live in Iowa.
     
  6. Big E

    Big E Plus sized porn star

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    One of my best friends is a Marlins fan...--------------v
     
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  7. DOLPHAN1

    DOLPHAN1 Premium Member Luxury Box

    they were dudes...:shifty:
     
  8. SICK

    SICK Lounge Moderator

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    ohhh ok TV......i get it
     
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  9. opfinistic

    opfinistic Braaaaains!

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    lmao Sick.
     
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  10. SICK

    SICK Lounge Moderator

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    i saw "tv" and im like "what? they were dressed like i dream of genie or something?!" haha
     
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  11. HardKoreXXX

    HardKoreXXX Insensitive to the Touch

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    Of course Opie could've just said "tranny" and saved everyone the trouble of having to figure out what the hell he meant before our caffeine kicked in.
     
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  12. opfinistic

    opfinistic Braaaaains!

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    I think one was.
    Come on, you gotta use your head for more that just a place to put a ballcap once in a while.
     
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  13. SICK

    SICK Lounge Moderator

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    are you high?!?!? lol
     
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  14. Fin D

    Fin D Sigh

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    - One time in a thread called "The Official F My Life Thread", after it was brought up that TV meant transvestite, I admitted to the whole forum that my initials in real life are "TV".:pity:
     
  15. Big E

    Big E Plus sized porn star

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    Actually the correct abb. for Tranny is TS

    and to keep the theme of the thread...

    I know the abb. for Tranny....FML....:pity:
     
  16. SICK

    SICK Lounge Moderator

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    i wanna go to sleep.....but i have to go back to work until 6 FML
     
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  17. Colorado Dolfan

    Colorado Dolfan ...dirty drownin' man?

    Depends on which "tranny" you're talking about...

    Transvestite = Cross-dresser
    Transexual (or transgender) = Getting the plumbing changed out...

    :eek:

    :pity:

    FML
     
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  18. Silverphin

    Silverphin Well-Known Member

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    One time, during Armed Drill Team practice, a girl walked by. Wanting to impress her, I spun my (16 pound M1 Garand) rifle. I busted the tip of my head open, leaving me with a piece of my eyebrow permanently missing.

    FML.
     
  19. Fin D

    Fin D Sigh

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    Chicks dig scars not gaping wounds, silly.
     
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  20. Fin D

    Fin D Sigh

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    Methinks this opinion will be more alone then Tom Hanks on that island. I say "more" cause I don't think you'll even have a volleyball with you....
     
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  21. dolphan117

    dolphan117 Premium Member Luxury Box

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    While playing touch football years ago I was in a head to head collision that tore/strained pretty much all the ligaments in my neck, headaches every day since and constant pain to the point that I wake up actually feeling good 3 or 4 times a year. If that.
     
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  22. Brown42000

    Brown42000 Chillin

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    While playing football in the backyard I went head first into a brick wall several years ago. I did it again a year later. FML
     
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  23. Brown42000

    Brown42000 Chillin

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    [​IMG]
     
  24. Big E

    Big E Plus sized porn star

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    I'm up at 4am to work at my pt job.....fml...:pity:
     
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  25. GoPhins!

    GoPhins! Premium Member Luxury Box

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    I was fifteen and totally in love. She was a little older and more experienced and right in the middle of making love my first time she said "I love you Brian".

    My name is Charles. :(
     
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  26. Silverphin

    Silverphin Well-Known Member

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    I asked this girl out one time. She said yes. Relationship lasted for three days. On the third day, she told me that when she said yes, she meant to say no. The worst part? The only reason why it lasted three days was because I wasn't in class that day.

    FML.
     
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  27. FinSane

    FinSane Cynical Dolphins Fan

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    after reading this thread, i suddenly feel better about my life
     
  28. Silverphin

    Silverphin Well-Known Member

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    During my freshman year of high school, I wanted to help out with this car wash that was set on the upcoming weekend. Later on during the week, I heard over the PA system about it being cancelled. So I stayed home with nothing to do. It turned out that there was another car wash that was also supposed to go on that weekend, and the one I was supposed to go to was still on.

    FML
     
  29. SICK

    SICK Lounge Moderator

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    i ended my radio show talking with macho man, hulk hogan and fozzy bear F M L !!!!
     
  30. Colorado Dolfan

    Colorado Dolfan ...dirty drownin' man?

    My dog broke my arm...

    He was a poodle.

    FML
     
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  31. Conuficus

    Conuficus Premium Member Luxury Box

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    Well away from here
    How about your best friend taking your credit card and charging his college tuition to it........assuming you'd never find out.

    Your mom tells you she has better things to do than to come to high school graduation. The only other person there without both parents had a reason; one was dead.

    Your dad screws you over for his business partner, and leaves you essentially penniless.

    Want to hear some more? :lol:
     
  32. SICK

    SICK Lounge Moderator

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    your parents suck.......:lol:
     
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  33. Colorado Dolfan

    Colorado Dolfan ...dirty drownin' man?

    [​IMG]

    You got better...

    That sucks, man... :pity:
     
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  34. Conuficus

    Conuficus Premium Member Luxury Box

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    Well away from here
    It worked out alright, it's like a pocket roledex of how not to raise children.
     
  35. Conuficus

    Conuficus Premium Member Luxury Box

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    Well away from here
    You have no idea. :lol:
     
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  36. padre31

    padre31 Premium Member Luxury Box

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    Eh, on the hook for 50 bucks, I'd be more worried about that company I kept, as your "friends" are, so are you so to speak.

    To me Conu, that would have merely set me free from the boring after graduation stuff.

    Off to vacation on the beach, wine women and song..uhhrah

    Now that IS oily, Family should not screw over family.


    If that is all you have?
     
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  37. Conuficus

    Conuficus Premium Member Luxury Box

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    Well away from here
    More like $3,000.00...........and no thats not it. :lol:

    Life is not about avoiding storms, its about learning how to dance in the rain.
     
  38. SICK

    SICK Lounge Moderator

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    i didnt win the lottery FML
     
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  39. BuckeyeKing

    BuckeyeKing Wolves DYNASTY!!!!

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    Not mine but literally LOL'ed

     
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  40. Regan21286

    Regan21286 MCAT's, EMT's, AMCAS, ugh

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    Man I should've thought of that. With so many random fees the UC's give out at arbitrary times during the quarter, I could've slipped mine in my ex-roommate's card and he won't be able to tell the difference. :lol:

    Well, I guess to some it is only high school. Which was what my dad said for mine. Also said he'd rather make it for the more important college or grad school ones though unfortunately he never did.
     
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