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Tired of being judged negatively everywhere I go.

Discussion in 'Questions and Answers' started by Jeffrey, Oct 21, 2009.

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  1. Jeffrey

    Jeffrey Banned

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    It seems like no matter where I go, I see people judging me and looking down on me. Honestly I am getting real tired of it. I'm not the type of person who will just sit back and take it either. I'll come straight to your face with the truth if I feel like I'm being disrespected. A lot of people aren't used to it I guess. I'm as real as it gets. My question is.....what can I do to not take things so personally and to not let people get the best of me? It seems like the older I get and the more people I come into contact with, my argument is solidified more and more. Thanks for your time.
     
  2. Jaydog57

    Jaydog57 Canes/Fins/Magic fan

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    If people don't like you, **** 'em. Don't waste your time worrying about if somebody's looking down on you, it'll do nothing but piss you off. Spend time with those you consider your friends. People can be way too judgemental anyways. :smile:
     
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  3. Boik14

    Boik14 Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    When people act or respond negatively to you what do they say or do? Do they respond negatively to you before or after they meet you? Is the negativity expressed in words or body language or both? If you give a little more background to the situations you encounter we can try and help.

    What works for me is that I really take very little personally. I usually just laugh at tantrums and cussing fits unless the situation is something I care about.
     
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  4. Jeffrey

    Jeffrey Banned

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    Ok. I'll give you an example. I walk into a bar that I've never walked into before somewhere in Florida. I won't say where. Everyone there knows each other, and most of the people are regulars. People stare at me, give me dirty looks, I actually caught someone pointing at me while running his mouth. I had on my Connecticut jersey to honor Jasper Howard. I come to find out later that this guy is a drug dealer and told someone that he "didn't like people from New York or New England." The guy was wearing a hoodie that said "New Jersey". Basically, they are rednecks who have nothing better to do than talk nonsense. But you can kind of get the idea of what I'm talking about, right?
     
  5. Boik14

    Boik14 Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    A situation like that I wouldn't even give a second thought. Who cares what a drug dealer in a bar thinks about you? Everyone I'd always going to have an opinion about you whether good or bad. Focus on the good. People who make a judgment about you without knowing you are simply ignorant and ignorance can't be controlled.
     
  6. Jeffrey

    Jeffrey Banned

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    But I want to call him out. Not in a threatening way, but more like reverse psychology.
     
  7. Boik14

    Boik14 Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    Why is there a need to be confrontational? The dude doesn't know you so who cares what he thinks.
     
  8. Jeffrey

    Jeffrey Banned

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    Yeah....he probably doesn't even know what psychology is. He'll probably just look at me with a blank stare. "I'm going to go brush my tooth now."
     
  9. Jeffrey

    Jeffrey Banned

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    Like I said, I'm going to approach it in a civil manner.
     
  10. Jeffrey

    Jeffrey Banned

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    I guess the thing that bothered me the most is the fact that he said "I don't like people from New York or New England."......and he was wearing a New Jersey sweatshirt. I mean, seriously?
     
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  11. Nappy Roots

    Nappy Roots Well-Known Member

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    i used to worry a lot about what other people thought, and i was miserable. until you learn not to care what other people think, outside of your love ones and people you care about, you probably will be miserable deep down as well.
     
  12. azfinfanmang

    azfinfanmang Premium Member Luxury Box

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    Sounds like he's just looking for a reason to start ****
    Best thing would be to not even get involved. Confronting him, even in a non-threatening way is just going to make his day, and I imagine that's not your intentions.
     
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  13. Jeffrey

    Jeffrey Banned

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    You're right. He isn't worth my time or energy. But I guess I just really wanted to put him in his place and make him feel really small (which he is). I don't know if you were able to tell by now.......but I have a lot of pride.
     
  14. Phinvader Bill

    Phinvader Bill The all new Mr. Event

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    I'm in the 'I don't give a S%%%.' crowd. I've got enough to worry about in my life without worrying about what strangers think of me. If they like me, great. If not, so be it. I'm a nice guy, and I'm friendly to everyone as long as they are friendly to me.
     
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  15. Jeffrey

    Jeffrey Banned

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    I wish that I was able to tune people out like you. How do you do it?
     
  16. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    i think the best way is to learn to laugh at yourself to be honest. Im a dumbass, I say stupid things all the time, but I say them because they make me laugh. I have a problem sometimes where I start to feel like an outcast, and I just have to blow it off. Theres always going to be haters in the world bro, you can't fight them all.

    and whoever agrees with me that I'm a dumbass is going on my list, fyi.
     
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  17. dolphindebby

    dolphindebby Season Ticket Holder Luxury Box

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    I don't think you're a da lucky.


    Do I stay off the list now??:wink2:
     
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  18. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    only because i ran out of room :tongue2:
     
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  19. Phinvader Bill

    Phinvader Bill The all new Mr. Event

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    I can walk into a new bar where I know no one, walk up to the bar, and strike up a conversation with anyone. That's just my personality. Most times, people will either talk to me, or they won't. If they do, great. If not, I move on or I just sit there and enjoy my drink.

    unLucky is right too. You have to be able to laugh at yourself, and not take yourself so seriously. I will rag on myself in conversations with others. It lets them know that you are comfortable with yourself, and that goes a long way.

    Self confidence is the key. You have to believe in yourself. Don't stress out over things you can't control. When I met my wife, she would stress over the smallest insignificant thing. Now, after being with me for 2 years,she is stressing much less, and she is much happier. It isn't easy though. You have to conciously make the choice to change something in your life, and stick with it.
     
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  20. HardKoreXXX

    HardKoreXXX Insensitive to the Touch

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    Not giving a **** should be one of the easiest things to do, but in actuality it's difficult for alot of people.

    A couple things that might make things easier for you: Smile...alot. Walking in somewhere with a smile makes it alot harder for people to be confrontational. Also, Body lanugauge is an underrated component to social interaction.

    The thing about the dirty looks seems to be a matter of perception, IMO. What you perceive as a dirty look could be nothing.

    One last thing, you shouldn't worry about "putting people in their place". When I was younger, I thought I needed to do this to everyone. Make a quip or one-liner that knocked them down. It's not worth it, so I just stick to doing it on Jetnation.com
     
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  21. Boik14

    Boik14 Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    I don't think anyone is really born that way, I know for me it was learned because when I was younger I constantly got in to the types of situations you described. Its really a question of whether you want to make the changes necessary to avoid being stuck in the same situations where it may lead to necessary drama.
     
  22. azfinfanmang

    azfinfanmang Premium Member Luxury Box

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    Some really good advise in here.
     
  23. Dol-Fan Dupree

    Dol-Fan Dupree Tank? Who is Tank? I am Guy Incognito.

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    I got over it by thinking that everything I do not like in another person is really something I do not like in myself. They are just shining a light on it with their actions. So when people do things that upset me I am more thankful due to the fact they have shown me an area of my life that I will now choose to work on.
     
  24. Nappy Roots

    Nappy Roots Well-Known Member

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    this is true. laugh at your self. a lot of my friends and i now, constantly make fun of eachother. is fun as long as someone can take it. and if you cant, it would suck. luckily, we can all laugh at our selves and dont care what people really think. so its fun and games.
     
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  25. alen1

    alen1 New Member

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    Agreed here. It's what I do, I go around smiling in school or even when I'm out with family or friends. I'll either make a joke on myself or others or say something stupid but it all works out well lol. Very few people dislike me from what I know unless someone lied to me. :lol:

    Btw, :lol: @ the last line.
     
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  26. Jeffrey

    Jeffrey Banned

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    This is what I do though. I can walk into a bar and strike up some great conversations with someone I just met. I do it ALL OF THE TIME. But there seems to always be the one or two people who have to hate on me for no reason. Just because they are haters. I don't know if they are jealous or what? I mean, I know I'm pretty and all.
     
  27. slickj101

    slickj101 Is Water

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    :hi5:


    I would say just stop being sensitive about it and don't give a ****. You're def not the only person to notice the world is full of negativity. There's no point in dwelling on it.
     
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  28. alen1

    alen1 New Member

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    Dude... you're such a dick...


    :shifty: ;)
     
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  29. Jeffrey

    Jeffrey Banned

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    Easier said than done man.
     
  30. slickj101

    slickj101 Is Water

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    Only if you make it that way.
     
  31. phinnhedd

    phinnhedd Reality.

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    Enable the ignore function in your brain and use it. Were you picked on a lot growing up? Sounds like the seeds were planted long ago and you're still seeking payback in some sort. If that's the case it's probably time to let it go, move on and just worry about what you are able to somewhat control and use positive mental thoughts to counteract the bad thoughts. Start painting the world in a different light and it's just possible that the light shines brighter on yourself.
     
  32. Jeffrey

    Jeffrey Banned

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    Please don't turn this thread into a joke. It's not a laughing matter to me. Thanks for respecting my wishes. And no, I wasn't picked on a lot.
     
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  33. slickj101

    slickj101 Is Water

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    I think you should stop taking it so seriously. That's not going to help anything.
     
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  34. phinnhedd

    phinnhedd Reality.

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    Sounds to me like you have a bit of social anxiety. Have you sought therapy?
     
  35. phinnhedd

    phinnhedd Reality.

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    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_anxiety

     
  36. Jeffrey

    Jeffrey Banned

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    Dr. Phil, I used to have social anxiety. And I used to see a lot of therapists.
     
  37. phinnhedd

    phinnhedd Reality.

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    Seems to me that "used to have it" is it's still presently a problem. I'm no Dr. Phil, just laying out possibilities. You're seeking answers and I'm trying to help.
     
  38. Jeffrey

    Jeffrey Banned

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    No I don't have social anxiety. I have whats called PTSD. That is what I was diagnosed with a long time ago. Boik...I asked people to respect this thread and not make jokes. Thank you.
     
  39. slickj101

    slickj101 Is Water

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    Yea. Obviously it's still an issue.

    Dr. Phil is a douche and unless Phinnhedd is being paid millions for this (I hope you are man), then I wouldn't make the comparison.
     
  40. Jeffrey

    Jeffrey Banned

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    My issue isn't social anxiety. I'm not paranoid. I'm not sitting there assuming people are talking negatively. I know FOR A FACT that it is happening in this specific instance, and I know who the culprit is. It's not like I go into any old bar and I look around nervously, looking for someone who might be judging me. It's not like that.
     
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