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A little known fact about Christmas

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Pagan, Dec 23, 2009.

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  1. Pagan

    Pagan Metal & a Mustang

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    According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.

    Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them - from Rudolph to Blitzen - had to be a girl.

    How the hell do 9 women manage to haul Santa's *** around the world in one night and not get lost?
     
  2. Fin D

    Fin D Sigh

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    Because they were willing to stop and ask directions.
     
  3. BigDogsHunt

    BigDogsHunt Enough talk...prove it!

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    Why do you think he is forced to stop at so many houses and ask for directions?

    :words: (Santa knows its the only way to shut them up)
     
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  4. BigDogsHunt

    BigDogsHunt Enough talk...prove it!

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    Dang, you are quick!!!!:lol:
     
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  5. opfinistic

    opfinistic Braaaaains!

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    Peeking in Nabo's Basement
    :chuckle:
     
  6. texasPHINSfan

    texasPHINSfan New Member

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    I always assumed the reindeer were women because they were already in harnesses...

    Too far? :lol:
     
  7. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    i think you guys are missing the moral of the story. that being women can not only cook and clean, they can also pull your sleigh.
     
  8. HardKoreXXX

    HardKoreXXX Insensitive to the Touch

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    Also, according to Historians, Jesus was born sometime in March.

    He was also not born in a manger, but a basement.

    He was also brown, and not white with blonde hair and blue eyes.

    Sorry, people of the South.
     
  9. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    how do you know my cousin???
    and it wasn't a basement it was the back of a 72 gremlin......
     
  10. SICK

    SICK Lounge Moderator

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    so my question is......so why are these reindeer flying a sliegh and why ARENT THEY in the kitchen?
     
  11. HardKoreXXX

    HardKoreXXX Insensitive to the Touch

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    Furthermore, why are they in the front of the sleigh when everyone knows they're backseat drivers?
     
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  12. SICK

    SICK Lounge Moderator

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    surprised santa hasnt crashed more with them randomly putting makeup on while driving, and adjusting their bra straps......
     
  13. anlgp

    anlgp ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

    too embarrassed to report the crash to the aviation people :lol:

    "...again?!"
     
  14. Alex44

    Alex44 Boshosaurus Rex

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    You realize they are magical reindeer so your point is invalid. They can be whatever sex they want, they ****ing fly.
     
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  15. Colorado Dolfan

    Colorado Dolfan ...dirty drownin' man?

    You can be reasonably sure that they are barefoot, though... :wink2:
     
  16. jetssuck

    jetssuck I hear Mandich's voice...

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    [​IMG]

    "Blasphemy!"
     
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  17. rafael

    rafael Well-Known Member

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    Maybe they're just posing as girls to get naked pictures and blackmail others into sex acts?
     
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  18. Lab3003

    Lab3003 Golden era

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    Which of the reindeer slept with Tiger Woods?
     
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  19. Alex44

    Alex44 Boshosaurus Rex

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    The list may be shorter if we ask which didnt.
     
  20. TJamesW_Phinfan

    TJamesW_Phinfan New Member

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    Keep in mind Santa invented the GPS and the deer may be women but Santa holds the reins.

    Many assume Jesus was brown due to a written description that included something like hist feet were like bronze or something or other. I think the logical thought for his appearance would be typical middle eastern type look. pretty much like the men of the middle east today. Consider where he was born and when.

    On the other hand there aint no way a chic driver could accomplish Santa's deliveries without a man doing the driving. Also Santa is from the south and knows how to handle the ladies. The whole north pole thing is just his job commute.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
  21. Jaydog57

    Jaydog57 Canes/Fins/Magic fan

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    Before you throw us all into one pot, I can assure you we're not all that stupid.:smile:
     
  22. HardKoreXXX

    HardKoreXXX Insensitive to the Touch

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    Dude, I was born in Southwest Florida. If anything, I'm in that pot as well.
     
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  23. Frumundah Finnatic

    Frumundah Finnatic U Mad Miami?

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    So Rudolph's red nose has to do with that time of the month?
     
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  24. charlestonphan

    charlestonphan Junior Member

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    from another man... because they refuse to believe the one they are with is right about anything. :tongue2:
     
  25. charlestonphan

    charlestonphan Junior Member

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    the South of what? Europe? you think that depictions of Jesus as a fair skinned blue eyed guy began (and only exist) in the American Southland?
     
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  26. Themole

    Themole Season Ticket Holder

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    Put another log on the fire
    Cook me up some bacon and some beans
    And go out to the car and change the tire
    Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans.

    Come on baby you can fill my pipe and then go fetch my slippers
    And boil me up another pot of tea
    Then put another log on the fire babe
    And come and tell me why you're leaving me.

    Now don't I let you wash the car on Sunday
    And don't I warn you when you're gettin' fat
    Ain't I a gonna take you fishin' with me someday
    Well, a man can't love a woman more than that.

    Ain't I always nice to your kid sister
    Don't I take her driving every night
    So sit here at my feet cause I like you when you're sweet
    And you know it ain't feminine to fight.

    So put another log on the fire...
     
  27. HardKoreXXX

    HardKoreXXX Insensitive to the Touch

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    No, I don't. They probably started in Italy with Michelangelo, or somewhere around that time and were adopted by England and then the US.

    Either way, it was joke.
     
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  28. Themole

    Themole Season Ticket Holder

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    Jesus was a Capricorn, he ate organic foods.
    He believed in love and peace and never wore no shoes.
    Long hair, beard and sandals and a funky bunch of friends.
    Reckon they'd just nail him up if He come down again.

    'Cos everybody's got to have somebody to look down on.
    Who they can feel better than at anytime they please.
    Someone doin' somethin' dirty, decent folks can frown on.
    If you can't find nobody else, then help yourself to me.

    Get back, John!

    Egg Head's cussin Red Neck's cussin' hippies for their hair.
    Others laugh at straights who laugh at freaks who laugh at squares.
    Some folks hate the whites who hate the blacks who hate the clan.
    Most of us hate anything that we don't understand.

    'Cos everybody's got to have somebody to look down on.
    Who they can feel better than at anytime they please.
    Someone doin' somethin' dirty, decent folks can frown on.
    If you can't find nobody else, then help yourself to me.

    Help yourself, brother.
    Help yourself, Gentlemen.
    Help yourself Reverend.
     
  29. Themole

    Themole Season Ticket Holder

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    It was a backhanded slap at the South. That's what it was. Not funny!
     
  30. HardKoreXXX

    HardKoreXXX Insensitive to the Touch

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    See, you got it!
     
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  31. adamprez2003

    adamprez2003 Senior Member

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    never understood why they dont advertise what happens to bad boys and girls who have been naughty all year. They get reindoor poo dropped on their heads from 1000 feet up
     
  32. 2socks

    2socks Rebuilding Since 1973

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    wife

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    Daylight 1:00

    dry

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    built in Sonar

    backed up at 3-5 miles an hour hit tree right rear.......$2700 damage

    WTF

    :cry:
     

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