1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

50 Things Men Wish Women Knew - Prob the best thing I've ever posted

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by slickj101, Jun 20, 2008.

  1. slickj101

    slickj101 Is Water

    15,886
    8,901
    113
    Dec 21, 2007
    NY
    This list had me rollin when I read it. Too many great ones on here to pick a fav but 6, 19, 22 and 48 are money. Theres a few head scratchers on here but most are gems. Enjoy and add one if you like.

    1. Express yourself. It makes us proud, even if someone thinks you're wrong.

    2. You look hot in running shoes and shorts. And that top thingy with the stripes.

    3. Bare, tan shoulders are underrated.

    4. If you think I’m speeding now, you should see me drive when you're not in the car.

    5. If you're truly interested in us, don't play hard to get.

    6. Shopping is a chore, not an activity.

    7. When I screw up, go ahead and tell me--once.

    8. No question need ever be asked through a closed bathroom door if I'm inside. I love you less with each syllable you utter.

    9. I'm hot for you, not your sister or your friend or your coworker.

    10. My guy friends. Not only are they not negotiable, they’re your best sign that I’m not a whack job.

    11. Don't be afraid to ditch the makeup. Natural is sexier.

    12. Leave the eyebrows alone. Plucked ain't pretty.

    13. You can have sex with us any time you want. Seriously.

    14. When the game is on, we will pay attention to you if you're nice about it. Bark, and we shut down.

    15. I don't ask for directions because I’m just happy to be driving. Anywhere.

    16. Masturbation is merely practice for the big game. Encourage it.

    17. We crave hugs and hand-holding too. And no, it doesn't always have to lead to sex.

    18. But you can have sex with us any time you want. Did we mention that?

    19. There's no better sound in the world than you, having an orgasm.

    20. Though the exhaust note of a Porsche Boxster is pretty damn fine, too.

    21. I just may lie to make you feel good. Don’t be angry about this. You really weren't looking for the truth anyway.

    22. When you get angry over some stupid little pointless thing, I question your intelligence.

    23. You’re really bad at faking it.

    24. If I offer my help while you're getting ready, it means you’re late.

    25. Never ask me to pick out your outfit. (See above.) I will invariably get it wrong and make us even more late.

    26. Giving me two or three choices, however, can be fun. Assuming you will change outfits in front of me. Slowly.

    27. Error on the side of hot; I love to show you off.

    28. Unless we're meeting my parents.

    29. When you call us at work "just to chat," we're not really listening; we're checking our e-mail.

    30. Spring means baseball and skirts. Doesn't need to be a mini-skirt; it's been a long winter.

    31. Chicks who drink beer are hot. Better yet: chicks who drink beer and watch the game. Better still: chicks who buy us a beer during the game.

    32. We don't mind being told we look good. Just don't call it a "cute outfit."

    33. We love ponytails.

    34. Being good in bed means a) enthusiasm; b) a sense of humor; and sometimes c) patience.

    35. The first time? We're as nervous as you are.

    36. A random unexpected grope is always welcome, even in public. Especially in public.

    37. Make us laugh and we'll want to hang around.

    38. Yes, I laugh really loud around the guys. And I always will, so deal.

    39. Sure, men stereotypically like to solve a woman's problems. But a woman who solves her own while we watch? Instant erection.

    40. You can pick the movie, but have a reason.

    41. Do not expect to have a conversation via text message unless you use the words "naked" and "waiting."

    42. Sometimes we wonder why any woman would want to be with us, much less someone as amazing as you. So, thanks.

    43. Anytime you cook for us, we're happy.

    44. If you can hit a golf ball 150 yards,play basketball or football we just might fall in love.

    45. No, I don't remember what he said next. Or she. Or anybody, for that matter. I'm a guy, not a tape recorder.

    46. We love you even more because you know we need to go out with the guys once in a while.

    47. And we love it when you hang with us guys, too.

    48. We have a keen sense of imminent danger. It sounds like, "Do you think she's pretty?"

    49. Don't rely on us for keeping you up on the news.

    50. Never say, "I know you better than you know yourself." Nobody does


    I'd also like to add:

    - If I ask if somethings wrong and you answer me with a *****y "no" then expect to sit in silence.

    - I love when you make me food, but dont expect me to be mobile for about 45 mins after.

    - White pants are always a good choice.

    - I love when we make fun of the WNBA together.
     
    Last edited: Jun 20, 2008
    Kanye West, Idahophin, cnc66 and 9 others like this.
  2. xDOLPHINSx

    xDOLPHINSx Season Ticket Holder Club Member

    779
    279
    63
    Dec 3, 2007
    Minnesota
    nice list. on an unrelated note - The ad that comes up in this thread is "gay chubby dating" wtf?!?
     
  3. slickj101

    slickj101 Is Water

    15,886
    8,901
    113
    Dec 21, 2007
    NY
    yikes :pity: glad i got the fantasy football ad with AP then.
     
  4. Brown42000

    Brown42000 Chillin

    8,474
    1,991
    0
    Nov 24, 2007
    RI
    lol I got the "InteracialRomance" ad.
     
  5. Big E

    Big E Plus sized porn star

    31,885
    8,682
    113
    Nov 29, 2007
    Bloomington, IN.
    wow...50? Thats asking alot. I just want a woman to know 5 things personally.

    1. How to cook
    2. How to clean
    3. How to shut up
    4. How to do more then just lay there
    5. and How to be a good mom

    Enough for me right their...
     
    Boik14, opfinistic and Muck like this.
  6. Muck

    Muck Throwback Uniform Crusader Retired Administrator

    14,523
    22,245
    113
    Nov 25, 2007
    Sunny Florida
    They're targeted ads.

    Seems you're the only one who got it.

    :lol:
     
    calphin, opfinistic and Big E like this.
  7. Muck

    Muck Throwback Uniform Crusader Retired Administrator

    14,523
    22,245
    113
    Nov 25, 2007
    Sunny Florida
    Classic.
     
  8. slickj101

    slickj101 Is Water

    15,886
    8,901
    113
    Dec 21, 2007
    NY
    Dave chappelle has a good list of 4 too but I duno if its PC enough for the mods.
     
    Boik14 likes this.
  9. FinSane

    FinSane Cynical Dolphins Fan

    19,861
    5,792
    113
    Dec 1, 2007
    Melbourne, Fl
    #51. I know my family is crazy....but yours is 10x crazier. accept it.
     
    DOLPHAN1 likes this.
  10. HardKoreXXX

    HardKoreXXX Insensitive to the Touch

    20,459
    14,210
    113
    Apr 2, 2008
    Coral Springs, FL
    You mean:

    1.**** my ****.

    2. Jiggle my ****.

    3. Make me a sandwich.

    4. Dont talk so much.

    :wink2:
     
    opfinistic, Boik14 and slickj101 like this.
  11. slickj101

    slickj101 Is Water

    15,886
    8,901
    113
    Dec 21, 2007
    NY
    yep. thats a pretty good list. keep it simple stupid.
     
  12. Celtkin

    Celtkin <B>Webmaster</b> Luxury Box

    19,169
    11,565
    113
    Nov 22, 2007
    46.73° N, 117.00° W
    Sorry I missed this first time around. Great stuff bro. :lol:
     
    slickj101 likes this.
  13. FinSane

    FinSane Cynical Dolphins Fan

    19,861
    5,792
    113
    Dec 1, 2007
    Melbourne, Fl
    Another one:
    Dont flip out when I dont answer my phone right away. Ill call you back eventually.
     
  14. Big E

    Big E Plus sized porn star

    31,885
    8,682
    113
    Nov 29, 2007
    Bloomington, IN.
    never gonna happen.
     
    Boik14 and FinSane like this.
  15. slickj101

    slickj101 Is Water

    15,886
    8,901
    113
    Dec 21, 2007
    NY
    That sounds like dont assume the worst in every scenario.
     
  16. HardKoreXXX

    HardKoreXXX Insensitive to the Touch

    20,459
    14,210
    113
    Apr 2, 2008
    Coral Springs, FL
    My favorite is:

    Dont call me when you're driving in your car and then have nothing to talk about. I know you only called because you're bored.
     
  17. Big E

    Big E Plus sized porn star

    31,885
    8,682
    113
    Nov 29, 2007
    Bloomington, IN.
    or when they call you naked and get mad becuase your a pervert about it.....or when they are taking a dump and...ewww....
     
  18. HardKoreXXX

    HardKoreXXX Insensitive to the Touch

    20,459
    14,210
    113
    Apr 2, 2008
    Coral Springs, FL
    Dont forget the ever popular: Im going to call you and talk to everyone else in the room Im in except you.
     
    Boik14 and Gametime111 like this.
  19. FinSane

    FinSane Cynical Dolphins Fan

    19,861
    5,792
    113
    Dec 1, 2007
    Melbourne, Fl
    I had a gf who was like that. One time i didnt answer my phone right away because i was eating my hands were dirty. So like 10 mins later she shows up all heated saying "WHY HAVENT YOU ANSWERED YOUR PHONE? AND YOURE STUFFING YOUR FACE???"

    That was the day I realized we werent going to work out. Glad I got rid of that crazy *****.:up:
     
    opfinistic likes this.
  20. FinSane

    FinSane Cynical Dolphins Fan

    19,861
    5,792
    113
    Dec 1, 2007
    Melbourne, Fl
    Oh man thats the worst. Its like why bother?? :lol:
     
  21. slickj101

    slickj101 Is Water

    15,886
    8,901
    113
    Dec 21, 2007
    NY
    because their bored so they figure you should suffer with them.
     
  22. FinSane

    FinSane Cynical Dolphins Fan

    19,861
    5,792
    113
    Dec 1, 2007
    Melbourne, Fl
    Thats the point of a relationship isnt it? :pointlol:
     
  23. Boik14

    Boik14 Admin Club Member Retired Administrator

    72,078
    32,175
    113
    Nov 28, 2007
    New York
    Yeah thats followed closely by a dial tone or a "dropped call" :pointlol:
     
    Big E likes this.
  24. FinSane

    FinSane Cynical Dolphins Fan

    19,861
    5,792
    113
    Dec 1, 2007
    Melbourne, Fl
    Whooops! :lol:
     
  25. slickj101

    slickj101 Is Water

    15,886
    8,901
    113
    Dec 21, 2007
    NY
    not unless your into mutual torture.
     
    FinSane likes this.
  26. Muck

    Muck Throwback Uniform Crusader Retired Administrator

    14,523
    22,245
    113
    Nov 25, 2007
    Sunny Florida
    :lol: Classic.

    I usually get another one asking "Why'd you hang up?".
     
    HardKoreXXX likes this.
  27. HardKoreXXX

    HardKoreXXX Insensitive to the Touch

    20,459
    14,210
    113
    Apr 2, 2008
    Coral Springs, FL
    Know what you mean. Cant tell you how many times a dropped call has resulted in a heated argument about how mad they are and how much they hate my stupid phone.
     
  28. texasPHINSfan

    texasPHINSfan New Member

    6,363
    3,740
    0
    Dec 14, 2007
    Bellevue, WA
    this is super sexist, but a guy i know was telling this joke last night and its too funny not to share...

    Why is a toilet better than a girlfriend? Because after you drop your load, you don't have to cuddle with it afterwards

    :D

    and before anyone gets all "up in arms", not my words. ;)
     
    FinSane and Gametime111 like this.
  29. slickj101

    slickj101 Is Water

    15,886
    8,901
    113
    Dec 21, 2007
    NY
    How about never take advice from your gfs unless it involves cooking or sex.
     

Share This Page