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A question of faith.

Discussion in 'Religion and Spirituality' started by GISH, Jan 14, 2009.

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  1. GISH

    GISH ~mUST wARN oTHERS~

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    Recently in my life, I put myself in a situation in which I really set myself up for failure. I did so knowingly, and still made no efforts to change a certain fate that could not be escaped if I continued down the path I was walking. I have a very bad habit of carrying my own burdens, and not reaching out for help. For months I fell into depression and effectively sat back and did nothing as I saw my fate get closer and closer to reality. I wanted to reach out to my parents and ask for help. But I was afraid the burden would be too much for them to bear, given their current situations in their lives. Both of them are being affected severely from the down economy. I've spent the past 4 months pretending that I'm happy, when really I've been dying inside. I don't know why I'm this way, or how to change it. Even the smallest tasks have seemed to be too much to handle. I am not a religious person, for my own reasons. I'm open to the idea of a spiritual existence, but I have no faith in what it can do or even what it is. A few days ago I stopped and decided to pray for the strength to get myself back on track. I've made many mistakes that I regret. Mistakes that I knew were mistakes at the time I made them. This is out of my character, yet I didn't have the strength or will to do anything about it. I'm ashamed of the choices I've made, and would love for a new opportunity to right the wrongs that I've done. I really don't want to hurt anyone as a result of my own failures; but that is directly where I was headed. Yesterday when I woke up, I felt like I was being guided by something. From early in the morning, till mid afternoon, I felt as if the answers were being given to me. In the course of one day, I was able to fix my biggest problem and get a new chance to right what I had done wrong. I have no doubt in my mind that something outside of my own body was guiding me and giving me the strength to do the things I knew I needed to do. I don't know how to react to something like this. I feel like I've been given a new lease on life. Until yesterday, I had never experienced this feeling. Perhaps it was a lost loved one helping me. Maybe it was god. Maybe it was just fate. I don't know, and don't really want to know. But it was nice, for once, to feel like there is something out there worth having faith in. I've always believe in learning from mistakes, and trying to get stronger in spite of them. 2008 has been the worst year of my life. I'm vowing to make 2009 the best one yet. Maybe all I was ever missing was faith. But for someone like me, it's hard to believe in something that you can't see or feel. Well, I've felt it. Now I believe in it. Even if I don't know what it is. Thanks for listening.
     
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  2. Celtkin

    Celtkin <B>Webmaster</b> Luxury Box

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    Sometimes just talking about your troubles can help to open paths that eventually lead to healing and the act of offering up your problems to a higher power often leads to answers. I am happy that you have experienced this and that you shared it with us.
     
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  3. DrAstroZoom

    DrAstroZoom Canary in a Coal Mine Luxury Box

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    Rep added. :D

    Thanks for sharing this, and I hope you continue to hear that "still, small voice" of encouragement. Drop me a PM anytime you want an ear.
     
  4. cnc66

    cnc66 wiley veteran, bad spelur Luxury Box

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    Thanks for sharing Gish. Like Steve said, if ever you need an ear brother, do not hesitate. An interesting thing happens when you reach out and help someone.. somehow it diminishes your own problems, so when you ask for help, you are actually helping others as you do it. Another interesting thing happens when you share your problems with someone.. the problem loses it's power over you by half.

    When I prostrate myself before my Lord and explain about the mountain in my way, I don't ask him to move it for me, I ask for a shovel and the strength to get the job done myself. Faith became trust and belief that He would do for me what I couldn't myself.. if I was willing to do the legwork. Again my friend, if you ever need an ear, please call upon me, it would be a honor.
     
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  5. mullingan

    mullingan New Grandbaby Pic!!!

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    Gish, thanks so much for sharing this with us. I know its a tough thing to do to put yourself out there in front of us like that, but, I can't tell what a joy and warmth that came over me while reading your post. I pray you continue on this journy and it takes you where you want to go. Again thanks so much for opening up like that.
     
  6. Vengeful Odin

    Vengeful Odin Norse Mod

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    No one can have all the answers my man ... sometimes it's all in how you ask the question.
     
  7. GISH

    GISH ~mUST wARN oTHERS~

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    thanks for the kind words guys.
     
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  8. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    you should never be afraid of sharing your burden bro. I do that and Ive screwed up big time, as in I've almost gone to prison/died big time. If you need to talk I'm here, and I am always a good listener and will of course take it seriously.

    Glad you are finding your way though. Keep your head down and keep going bro.
     
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  9. dolphindebby

    dolphindebby Season Ticket Holder Luxury Box

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    Thank you for sharing Gish.
    I can tell you from personal experience that there are people on here that have the knowledge and faith that it takes to help you. They just helped and prayed me through a terrible bout of anxiety attacks.
    Faith is believing in what you can't see.
    I am a Christian and I believe in God with all my heart. I know pray works, look at me and at Mary's situation. But, I also know He wants us to help ourselves too.
    I think you're on the right path and my heart and prayers go out to you.
    PM me also, if you think I can help you in any way.
    Pastor Keith is a font of information and he's always there for us. As is, the rev and Kev and more. The Christian thread has been a wonderful place to go for me and others.
    So hold on and lean on us if you need to.
    God BLess,
    Debby
     
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  10. Dol-Fan Dupree

    Dol-Fan Dupree Tank? Who is Tank? I am Guy Incognito.

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    Gish, one thing the last 3 years have taught me is the power of connection and relationship. Life is just better when we include others in our lives and share our burdens. My spiritual/personal/happiness growth skyrocketed when I included others in my life. Just going to groups and doing some group seminars and work has been amazing and I honestly cannot believe where I am in my head and body and soul at this moment.

    I would just suggest to keep your mind and heart open and do what is right for you. If you want you can attribute this awakening to faith to a christian god. I am just giving an example of someone who did go down some roads and found peace, love, charity, happiness through something other than the Christian path.

    One thing I noticed in the last two months is how much guidence that is outside of myself I have actually had. I used to think I was making the choices, now I am not so sure.
     
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  11. anlgp

    anlgp ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

    Glad to see something grabbed you and pulled you along. Sometimes you need it and it's not there other times it shows up.

    If it doesn't answer all the time don't just think it doesn't care. Some things as you well know are needed to figure out by yourself but if you're in a true bind I find it usually comes around to help.

    PM or IM if need I promise there's a normal human being behind this monitor.

    edit:

    wow horrible typos. left in tact.
     
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  12. Ohiophinphan

    Ohiophinphan Chaplain Staff Member Luxury Box

    I don't pretend to know what happened though I will rejoice with you that it happened.

    One of the best things an active faith brings, when properly excercised, is community. I belive, practice, and teach that God is a God of community, calling folks to live on behalf of others. When I follow this I am at my happiest and frankly people like me better.

    You have reached out in prayer and shared that here in a community. I can not urge you strongly enough to build on this little step. Not all the steps will be forward and helpful, some unfortunately will likely be retrograde, but the community here and good communities elsewhere will walk with you!
     
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  13. dolphindebby

    dolphindebby Season Ticket Holder Luxury Box

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    You are truly blessed to have answers to our questions Pator.
    And we are truly blessed to have you here with us.
    May God pour His blessings on you.
    Thank you.
     
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  14. The Rev

    The Rev Totus Tuus Staff Member Administrator Luxury Box Club Member

    I'm proud of you, brother. You have guts. For looking for answers and for sharing with us. It is not always easy opening up on a big message board like this, especially when others know you.
    .
    But, you realized one thing, you are not alone. After you send your 14 PM's, if you need another ear, I am here as well. Lean on your brothers and sisters, here. We'll help you carry the load.

    Also, I would be remiss if I did not mention this: God whispers, he never yells.
    Those who seek Him earnestly, will find him.

    I pray that you continue your baby steps.
     
  15. Da 'Fins

    Da 'Fins Season Ticket Holder Staff Member Club Member

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    Gish. I didn't see this until now (sorry I overlooked it). How are you doing these days?

    I've had some struggles with anxiety/depression at different times (even as a Christian) but I am glad that you found some solace here.

    I really appreciate your openness; sometimes even believers don't want to be so open about their problems for fear of embarrassment. But, in my experience (personally and professionally) Christians have struggles in these areas just like everyone else.

    If I may, I'd like to recommend a book entitled The Reason For God, by Timothy Keller (available through Amazon). I think it is one of the best books out there on the issue of faith, published most recently in 2008. It's pretty easy to read, not at all harsh or judgmental about those who do not have faith, and approaches the questions and challenges in a very humble way. If you want to read it and are short financially, let me know and I can order it for you.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you. All the best.
     
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