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Adoption / Birth parents

Discussion in 'Outreach Forum' started by SICK, Nov 21, 2014.

  1. SICK

    SICK Lounge Moderator

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    So long story short, my wife was adopted at 3 days old in 1983. Closed adoption. Only had non-identifying information on her birth family......



    I found her mother. I am 100% sure. Anyone have any experience in reaching out, breaking the ice? Anyone adopted or given someone up for adoption, how would you react?
     
  2. Fin D

    Fin D Derp Sherpa

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    Stupid question, but gonna ask just to be sure......does your wife want to make contact or are you trying to make it happen for her without her knowing? I suspect she does, but again just checking.....
     
  3. SICK

    SICK Lounge Moderator

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    Oh yeah shes 100% on board with this. In fact, shes been looking and I got tired of coming home watching her curled up in jammies looking for her mom, I took over last night and found her on pure ****ing luck......but I am taking credit anyways.
     
  4. Tone_E

    Tone_E Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    If you found her, maybe introduce yourself by sending her a covert email or something without your wife knowing to feel out her biological mother. If she has no interest in meeting your wife, it may be best to know in advance. Tell your wife either way, but it will be much easier for her to handle if you tell her that you were able to find her mother, but unfortunately she doesn't want to be contacted. Kind of not to get her hopes up, know what I mean?
     
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  5. SICK

    SICK Lounge Moderator

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    Absolutely. Her hopes arent up, she honestly went 31 years thinking she'd never find them. So this is all new feelings, she loves her adopted parents, they're awesome.....this is kind of icing. Now she knows what they look like, cousins, nephews, brothers etc. It's all really cool and really overwhelming.
     
  6. GridIronKing34

    GridIronKing34 Silently Judging You Club Member

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    This thread popped up in the similar threads category.

    I really hope the outcome isn't similar...
     
  7. SICK

    SICK Lounge Moderator

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    Well I've always wanted a 3way


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
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  8. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=- Club Member

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    I think the most important question that no one on here is asking is:
    Is she hawt?

    KMB?
     
  9. bigbry

    bigbry Huge Member

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    The need to find out what NFL team she is a fan of.....most important.
     
  10. Ohiophinphan

    Ohiophinphan Chaplain Staff Member Luxury Box

    I have had a number of friends and parishioners who have either found birth parents or been found by them. The results have been all over the board. A couple have been warm and friendly but more have been problematic. A few were disasters. Your wife will need a huge amount of support from you and maybe the help of others. I wish you guys all the luck and best wishes I can send your way.
     
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  11. dolphindebby

    dolphindebby Season Ticket Holder Luxury Box

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    I wish you and your wife all the luck.
    Hope it turns out right for her.
     
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  12. SICK

    SICK Lounge Moderator

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    So we found her birth mother. And its been absolutely incredible! She cried and cried and cried when we found her. My wife is her only baby girl. Shes had 3 boys since her birth.

    She was diagnosed with stage 4 cervical cancer in 2008 and told my wife she dreamt of her because she thought she'd never meet her. It's been a huge emotional weekend.....and honestly I havent seen my wife this happy in a long time. She sees pictures of family she can compare looks too....she has brothers she is connecting with.....hearing stories about them growing up and having the same personalities eventhough neither knew the other existed. We are planning a trip to New Orleans for next year to see her.....it's been amazing!

    Her adopted parents are in town tonight thru Thanks giving, shes told them she found her mom....but its been egg-shells. Very awkward, no one knows how to act. We are going to take it slow and of course know her adopted parents did everything for her, so we'll never lose sight of that.

    We did hear from her birth mother that it was supposed to be an open adoption.....and that didnt happen obviously. She never wanted to give my wife up, she was 17 and had nothing to offer and her father made her do it. She prayed and hoped she had a good life....shes been so apologetic, its so sad :(

    But theres a happy ending, we are all connected now, talking, and it's been incredible!!
     
  13. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    this is kinda like how you gave me up for adoption but cried because I finally found you and was older............what?
     
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  14. Ohiophinphan

    Ohiophinphan Chaplain Staff Member Luxury Box

    That is as good as it gets. Blessings to you all
     
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  15. bigbry

    bigbry Huge Member

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    Tell us more....
     
  16. dolphindebby

    dolphindebby Season Ticket Holder Luxury Box

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    This is great news Chris.
    I hope your wife finds all the peace she deserves. After all the years of wondering.
    God bless all of you!
     
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  17. KeyFin

    KeyFin Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    Heh, I just found this sub-forum after all these years and hate I missed these conversations. I was adopted at birth and found my birth family this year (dad was already passed, not sure about mom yet. They weren't married or together). Everyone I reached out to along the journey was EXTREMELY supportive and I couldn't have asked for a better ending....even though I got a lot of bad news along the way (like, my dad being dead and never knew I existed).

    Anyway, update with how things turned out when you can....I'd be very interested in hearing about it.
     

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