After allowing every man woman and child to move the ball on them the Atlanta Falcons decided to clean house. After an extensive interview process Arthur Blank decided to make it rain in order to lure UCF FINatic away from his lucrative "pimping career" and become Atlanta's general manager. UCF FINatic became Blank's choice after he saw how his pimp skills would translate; finding young talent, putting people in a position to win, dumping talent that failed to produce, and always getting great returns on his investment. After UCF FINatic was hired he evaluated the Atlanta Falcons as a whole. While the offense was largely successful, the defense was lacking; coming in dead last at yards against per game. UCF FINatic decided to strengthen his pimp hand and his defense by hiring Dan Quinn the young defensive coordinator of Seattle Seahawks. Quinn also fielded a highly successful defense at the University of Florida prior to jumping to the NFL. Quinn won't bring a lot of hair to the job but he will make up for that with his passion, ability to relate to players, and developing game plans. With the help of Quinn UCF FINatic was able to tab former 49ers Defensive Line coach Jim Tomsula. Rumors were swirling that Tomsula was being considered for the 49ers HC position (he was hired as their HC in real life) but an offer was made that he couldn't refuse. The defensive future of Atlanta looks promising with Dan Quinn, Jim Tomsula, and police brutality. On the offensive side of the ball the Falcons went with Doug Marrone, former head coach of the Buffalo Bills. No one has the passion of someone spurned and Marrone should be able to bring a lot to the table after coaching a team lead by E.J. Manuel and Kyle Orton at the helm to respectable offensive rankings. Marrone is said to be salivating at a chance to work with a 3-time Pro Bowl QB in Matt Ryan and a WR core that has 11 Pro Bowls amongst them. In closing, hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife because Atlanta is getting that D and you can't stop it.
I tried reading the announcement but I couldn't concentrate over the annoying crowd noise present in this thread.