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Cheating bastard?

Discussion in 'Questions and Answers' started by Seeking Answers, Jan 1, 2010.

  1. Seeking Answers

    Seeking Answers New Member

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    I'm going to start by saying that I'm not a grudge holder...I'm quick to forgive and forget. Over my life there's only 3 people that I'd really consider "getting back" at, and even then I'm not going to go out of my way to do so. If the opportunity presents itself then I'd probably do it.......this may be one of those occasions.

    The person involved is my "friends" former professor ("friend" as in we're close an were dating at the time). I understand there will occasionally be friction between professors and students, but this guy took it to a whole new level.

    As far as being a human being I think he's the worst type. He was on an absolute power trip, and a total *******. He did everything he could make make sure you knew he was in charge, from breaking your projects and drawing on your drawings to calling you out in front of everyone for no reason. He was pompous, arrogant, and childish. My girlfriend had him for a semester and he came down overly hard on her. Perhaps it was because she was an attractive girl that he didn't have a chance with, or perhaps it was because it was his only way of getting to me..I'll never know what it was, but this guy was a ****ing piece of work. He'd give her INCREDIBLE amounts of work and one week before the end of the semester he told my girlfriend that "her project didn't work and she had to start over, or she'd fail the semester".

    After a semester of no sleep and her coming home stressed out and crying I'd had enough. I took her project to my former professor to look at, she presented it and got th thumbs up. He gave her advice on how to present it but most of all confirmed that it was a solid project and that failing her would be out of the question. We also went to the dean to complain about him and he gave us advice on avenues to pursue if the worst case scenario happened (the avenue was a peer review of the project over which the professor would still have the final say on the grade....no help).

    Anyway the semester ended and he passed her with a solid D. We were pissed but the alternative could have created more push back in the future, so we decided to let it be. Two students were selected from each studio for a competition with a scholarship as a prize..he chose two students from his class......one was a girl...we'll call her Becky. An award winning guest judge was invited to review the projects.....and he absolutely BLASTED that professor for his ignorance.....the professor had thrown out the curriculum and the result were two awful projects...Becky broke down crying....one of the better days of that year.

    So ANYWAY.........fast forward a few years...Becky graduates and moves away with a peer of mine. After about 9 months a co-worker confronts him threatening to shoot him...apparently my buddy's married co-worker was having an affair with Becky........his wife found out and now he was threatening my buddy....uncool. He quit his job and moved away..that's the last I'd heard of her.


    and I'm sitting at my local starbucks......and in walks this (married) professor.....with Becky.......i thought that was weird...doubly weird when the server (a buddy) told my they come in and "canoodle" every now and then....he paid and they left in teh same car.......and then...they walk in together the very next morning....together...having come in the same car.

    Signs are pointing to this prick having an affair on his wife with whom he has a child. Obviously these are signs, but coming in for dinner one evening and breakfast the next day don't bode well. Combine that with the fact that she has slept with married men before, was selected as the "best in her class" for a competition with money on the line, and that he drug my then girlfriend through the mud do I consider giving this evidence to his wife? I'd do it in an anonymous manner....but I'm sure he'llk now who it came from....but damn it'd feel good to take this bastard down. The lowliest of the low type of person...preys on the week and tries to strong arm those he can't roll over.

    Thoughts?
     
  2. muscle979

    muscle979 Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    An anonymous tip to this guy's wife probably wouldn't carry much weight unless she already knows or suspects something. I mean I could write an anonymous note to anybody's wife saying their husband is cheating. Personally I would not get involved b/c if he's really womanizing like this he'll eventually get caught anyway. Sometimes you have to let things go and move on. People tend to get what they deserve when it's all said and done anyway. To me this just sounds like a lot of drama I personally wouldn't want in my life. Even if it did give me a chance to snipe at somebody I didn't like. You're not going to 'bring him down' unless you somehow prove he's nailing students and convince school officials. He doesn't sound like he values his marriage all that highly anyway so telling his wife would do little besides cost him a bit of money. And that's if she believed an 'anonymous' tip was true.
     
  3. Muck

    Muck Throwback Uniform Crusader Retired Administrator

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    Honestly, that was a confusing post. If you want revenge, this is your shot. Take pictures and send them to the wife anonymously.



    Sent from my HERO200 using Tapatalk
     
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  4. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    Itd be pretty hard to prove that he is in fact cheating. Second of all I'd probably just move on and forget about him. He's a prick but you know do you think that will change if you get revenge? I don't. He'll still be an *******. And you'll have spent energy trying to get some satisfaction from something you won't even get to be there to watch.
     
  5. dolfan32323

    dolfan32323 ty xphinfanx

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    I would just move on. Scum will always get what is coming their way eventually.
     
  6. Sethdaddy8

    Sethdaddy8 Well-Known Member

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    i dont know what kind of guy you are. at the risk of sounding meat-headish....

    i would probably go visit the guy at his office hours, or lay in wait at starbucks. id confront him. say something to the effect of:

    "i knew there was something up when you busted my girlfriends chops in the past. Now look, you walk in with your adultering prize pupil. hows being a cheating, unethical, low-life scumbag working out for you?"

    approach him slowly without touching him: "thats right, you heard me. you're an unethical, loser, c***. you sleep with and reward your students. your the lowest piece of garbage i could care less to know. im saying this to your worthless face in front of your adultering whore girlfriend.

    what are you gonna do about it?"


    and he'll do nothing, and you'll feel very very good.

    no sense you being the one to hurt his wife with the bad news. hopefully that works itself out.
    and this loser wont sleep for weeks.
     
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  7. HolliFinFan

    HolliFinFan Not a Face Painter Luxury Box

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    I had to read that three times. Sifting through the information, the core is that you feel your girlfriend was treated unjustly by the professor. If this is a university, do (did) they not have an ombudsman? If a college, not an academic dean in charge of that dept.? That's the route I (would have) pursued. Every upper level collegiate institution has a route for the injustices you described. If the professor you described is having an affair, in reality, that has nothing to do with the prior injustice your parter dealt with. While it may well be consistent with your view of him for prior acquaintance, the bottom line is you and your friend missed your chance to "get him" by his bias. Any other pursuit of this is just stress on you, and I hope your own closet is clean, and anonymity these days is just about 99.9% absent.
     
  8. KeyFin

    KeyFin Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    I personally would send something not only to the wife, but also to the college he currently works at. That's just me though; I never start fights but I definitely finish them.

    Before you take anyone's advice though, consider the legal ramifiactions. Let's say you send an anonymous letter to the wife saying he's getting jiggy with Becky, then for the sake of argument let's also assume she believes you 100% (if he's cheating there are other signs that will prove your statement to the wife). She then confronts Becky and/or husband, and they both deny all of it. Somehow the professor finds out it was you, knows you have no actual proof, and then he can sue the crap out of you for slander and emotional distress from trying to salvage his relationship with his wife and children.

    Like I said before, I know what I would do....but your question can not be answered by anyone here. Only you can make that call, because even though you may be right you are still liable.

    The only other advice I can give...either do it with 100% effort or completely leave it alone. Anything else will only backfire on you.
     
  9. m ino

    m ino New Member

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    yea,you might want to look at this a little deeper.i know i would have a very hard time if say hypotheticly you somehow have it to where the wife catches them together then proceeds to break down and shoot them both.maybe you can work it subtlely..maybe get with the school's newspaper and get them to do a story on professor/student dating..you know something that doesn't say "this professor" is cheating.then have a paper delivered to the wife.

    or try sending menus/coupons from the place him and the mistress are meeting to the wifes place of work.who knows maybe a coworker of the wife see's the professor and mistress together at breakfast one day.
     
  10. DrAstroZoom

    DrAstroZoom Canary in a Coal Mine Luxury Box

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    I absolutely would not get involved. Nothing good can come of it.
     
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