Hey, so my fiance's ex-husband is filing for a review/adjustment of child support, custody & visitation, and contempt. She was just made aware and court date is at the end of the month. I'm looking for any advice or experiences anyone may want to share... every custody case is very different (especially this one) but if there's anything like "make sure you prove such and such", I would love to take any advice out there from folks who have seen people go through these ugly battles or have gone through it themselves. Little background... there are three teenage kids, oldest within a year of turning 18. Their father up and left one day, he moved to the other side of the country and remains there. The parents have joint legal custody but physical placement is with their mother, he has the right to have them up to six weeks each summer. He has been in and out of their lives at his convenience in the 4+ years since he left, and in that time he had another kid out of wedlock whose mother is chasing him down for child support, and he has been married & divorced to another woman in addition. Although he was self-employed and ran his own business while married to my fiance, he has not held a job for much time and is almost always behind on child support, he has an open case for two more years regarding felony nonsupport. Two summers ago he chose to not see his kids at all, but last year he saw the two youngest for six weeks and the oldest for one week. He has made statements to the oldest like "I'm going to sue for custody of the other two but not for you", long story behind all that but basically the oldest sees how he really is and doesn't like him, but the younger two don't see him negatively. It's hard because their mom has to be the one making sure they go to school, stay out of trouble, do their chores, discipline, etc., while their father gets to be the good guy whenever he chooses to be around. He plays mind games and has emotionally messed with their heads saying he's going to move back but then a month later says "I have a girlfriend now with a lot of money so basically screw you guys I'm not moving". No Christmas or birthday gifts. He is thousands of dollars behind on support, we're not sure of his full criminal record since he left but besides the nonsupport case he also spent a night in jail for drunk driving when his kids were visiting, their mother's record and my record are squeaky clean. My fiance and I moved in together about six months ago, she didn't give him the new address and changed her phone number after he called one day and was threatening and verbally harassed her, he still intimidates her terribly after years apart. Child support agency said she doesn't have to give her new number. The kids never ask to call him. He only called the kids on holidays (Thanksgiving and Christmas). He has been nothing but an abandoning absent irresponsible father who only wants to be part of his children's lives when it's convenient for him. We feel he doesn't have anything to stand on, but it's all a very scary stressful process. Her biggest fear is the two youngest will say they want to go to dad because he doesn't yell at them, the oldest feels the best place for them is with their mother and absolutely does not want to visit her father. We are meeting with an attorney soon. Any advice or support would be super appreciated.