Don't necessarily pray for me...

Have you tried using Ramano cheese on them?

Be thankful you only have one:

I'd rather get kicked in the nuts endlessly.
Butt surgery was the most painful week of my life.
Luckily I never have to do it again. :lol:

I don't even. Maybe FinD, McLovin or maynard can offer some helpful tips? (No pun intended)

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In the words of George Carlin, I'll say a prayer for your ass hole.

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What is there to "discuss"? You have a massive hemorrhoid or worse you have an anal prolapse, that is a hernia of your anal tissue. Go to a doctor or enjoy the pain, there is no third option.

Is it a roid or is your body finally rejecting lmeister3's watch?

</I feel horrible posting this since Ohiophinphan posted in here.>

At least its not meat loaf....?

"Ohiophinphan wrote:

What is there to "discuss"? You have a massive hemorrhoid or worse you have an anal prolapse, that is a hernia of your anal tissue. Go to a doctor or enjoy the pain, there is no third option.

I was hoping for a home remedy, maybe a great uncommon tip....like oil pulling, but for your butt.

Def. not a prolapsed rectum...a big thing I know I need to do is add fiber to my diet.

"Sethdaddy8 wrote:

I was hoping for a home remedy, maybe a great uncommon tip....like oil pulling, but for your butt.

Def. not a prolapsed rectum...a big thing I know I need to do is add fiber to my diet.

...less "protein" too.

"Fin D wrote:

...less "protein" too.

Just because we are discussing my ass, doesn't mean it all has to be about sex.

"Sethdaddy8 wrote:

I was hoping for a home remedy, maybe a great uncommon tip....like oil pulling, but for your butt.

Def. not a prolapsed rectum...a big thing I know I need to do is add fiber to my diet.

Preparation H dude. Get some. I'll be over tonight to apply it for you.

"Fin D wrote:

Is it a roid or is your body finally rejecting lmeister3's watch?

</I feel horrible posting this since Ohiophinphan posted in here.>

You're fine! At least better off than Seth!

As to you Seth, I am glad it is not a prolapse. If you are simply trying to shrink hemorrhoids without surgery, then the old tried and true remedies still work best, soaking the spot in hot water and Hemorrhoidal creams regularly and liberally applied. If it doesn't shrink within a couple of weeks, it likely will not and then a visit to a surgeon becomes necessary.....or a supplier of "general analgesics". (i.e. booze or drugs!)

"Ohiophinphan wrote:

You're fine! At least better off than Seth!

As to you Seth, I am glad it is not a prolapse. If you are simply trying to shrink hemorrhoids without surgery, then the old tried and true remedies still work best, soaking the spot in hot water and Hemorrhoidal creams regularly and liberally applied. If it doesn't shrink within a couple of weeks, it likely will not and then a visit to a surgeon becomes necessary.....or a supplier of "general analgesics". (i.e. booze or drugs!)

By soak, do you mean with a wet cloth, or literally sticking my butt in the lobster pot? And not to be graphic or gross, but for the sake of further potential advice... the hemmy isn't even that big. But there is a lot of irritation, itching, I think a fissure or wound of sort may be present, don't think a fistula though. I've had hemmys come and go, but this overall bout of irritation is a bit long. And I think my wipes may be adding to the dryness and irritation process.

Sit in the lobster pot. In bygone days in the military they called what you have "jeep driver's disease" and suggested you soak your rectum in your helmet. As to lotions or ointments, stick solely to the ones made for this condition. I have used a generic form of Preparation H very often and very successfully. If they are not working or giving you more trouble then perhaps you have something more serious or at least different and thus a doctor's visit would be called for.

The lack of Maynard in this thread is Disappoint

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"Sethdaddy8 wrote:

And I think my wipes may be adding to the dryness and irritation process.

Stop using them. A wet climate (think jungle, baby) will only sustain the irritation. Keep your arse religiously dry from anything that's not water and/or special creams or ointments. Using baby wipes is probably the best way to catch really nasty conditions to begin with.

....and by the way, like it or not, I do pray for you and the rest of the folks who visit this website regularly.:wink2:

I sincerely hope some of this helps. Having suffered from fissures and hemorrhoids off and on for years, I know how miserable they can be.

"Ohiophinphan wrote:

....and by the way, like it or not, I do pray for you and the rest of the folks who visit this website regularly.:wink2:

I sincerely hope some of this helps. Having suffered from fissures and hemorrhoids off and on for years, I know how miserable they can be.

Hey I'm Catholic! We hardcore in this family! And thanks. I'm gonna try soaking and keep up with the Prep H. Gonna lay off the wipes. Actually picked up a sitz-bath too. It's time to take my ass back!!! Thanks all and keep any suggestions coming.

"Sethdaddy8 wrote:

I was hoping for a home remedy, maybe a great uncommon tip....like oil pulling, but for your butt.

Def. not a prolapsed rectum...a big thing I know I need to do is add fiber to my diet.

my f'ing sides.

You have not lived until you farted in a sitz bath. I encourage you all to run out and buy one at your local pharmacy for $15....and do it. You can thank me later.

"Sethdaddy8 wrote:

I have one of these between my ass cheeks:

Maybe you should try chewing it better, no?

"Sethdaddy8 wrote:

I was hoping for a home remedy, maybe a great uncommon tip....like oil pulling, but for your butt.

I heard on Doctor Oz a combination of mint, lemon juice, menthol, and cayenne powder work wonders topically.