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Don't necessarily pray for me...

Discussion in 'Outreach Forum' started by Sethdaddy8, Jan 13, 2014.

  1. Sethdaddy8

    Sethdaddy8 New Member

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    But feel free to give advice, share past experiences, and send any sort of positive energy.

    It seemingly comes on every late winter, this year was late November. I don't know if it is stress related or what. Who isn't under stress ya know? But...well...

    I have one of these between my *** cheeks:

    [​IMG]

    I am an avid baby wipe user, but back in the late fall, my wife didn't buy my brand. She got this scented crap, and it dried me out, left me hella irritated. And its been hemrods and itching and discomfort ever since. Somedays are good, somedays I'm damn near incapacitated. Duecin can feel like i'm passing a hot poker.

    Yep, its back. No, I will not go to a doctor. Discuss.
     
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  2. Have you tried using Ramano cheese on them?
     
  3. Colorado Dolfan

    Colorado Dolfan ...dirty drownin' man?

    Be thankful you only have one:

    [​IMG]
     
  4. WhiteIbanez

    WhiteIbanez Megamediocremaniacal

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    I'd rather get kicked in the nuts endlessly.
    Butt surgery was the most painful week of my life.
    Luckily I never have to do it again. :lol:
     
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  5. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=- Club Member

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    I don't even. Maybe FinD, McLovin or maynard can offer some helpful tips? (No pun intended)

    Sent from my Transformer TF101 using Tapatalk 4
     
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  6. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=- Club Member

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    In the words of George Carlin, I'll say a prayer for your *** hole.

    Sent from my Transformer TF101 using Tapatalk 4
     
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  7. McLovin

    McLovin Resident Pats fan.

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    [​IMG]
     
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  8. Ohiophinphan

    Ohiophinphan Chaplain Staff Member Luxury Box

    What is there to "discuss"? You have a massive hemorrhoid or worse you have an anal prolapse, that is a hernia of your anal tissue. Go to a doctor or enjoy the pain, there is no third option.
     
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  9. Fin D

    Fin D Derp Sherpa

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    Is it a roid or is your body finally rejecting lmeister3's watch?

    </I feel horrible posting this since Ohiophinphan posted in here.>
     
  10. CaribPhin

    CaribPhin Guest

    That looks delicious.

    Sent from my GT-P3110 using Tapatalk
     
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  11. SICK

    SICK Lounge Moderator

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    At least its not meat loaf....?
     
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  12. Sethdaddy8

    Sethdaddy8 New Member

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    I was hoping for a home remedy, maybe a great uncommon tip....like oil pulling, but for your butt.

    Def. not a prolapsed rectum...a big thing I know I need to do is add fiber to my diet.
     
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  13. Fin D

    Fin D Derp Sherpa

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    ...less "protein" too.
     
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  14. Sethdaddy8

    Sethdaddy8 New Member

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    Just because we are discussing my ***, doesn't mean it all has to be about sex.
     
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  15. Rocky Raccoon

    Rocky Raccoon Spirit In The Night Club Member

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    Preparation H dude. Get some. I'll be over tonight to apply it for you.
     
  16. Ohiophinphan

    Ohiophinphan Chaplain Staff Member Luxury Box

    You're fine! At least better off than Seth!

    As to you Seth, I am glad it is not a prolapse. If you are simply trying to shrink hemorrhoids without surgery, then the old tried and true remedies still work best, soaking the spot in hot water and Hemorrhoidal creams regularly and liberally applied. If it doesn't shrink within a couple of weeks, it likely will not and then a visit to a surgeon becomes necessary.....or a supplier of "general analgesics". (i.e. booze or drugs!)
     
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  17. Sethdaddy8

    Sethdaddy8 New Member

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    By soak, do you mean with a wet cloth, or literally sticking my butt in the lobster pot? And not to be graphic or gross, but for the sake of further potential advice... the hemmy isn't even that big. But there is a lot of irritation, itching, I think a fissure or wound of sort may be present, don't think a fistula though. I've had hemmys come and go, but this overall bout of irritation is a bit long. And I think my wipes may be adding to the dryness and irritation process.
     
  18. Ohiophinphan

    Ohiophinphan Chaplain Staff Member Luxury Box

    Sit in the lobster pot. In bygone days in the military they called what you have "jeep driver's disease" and suggested you soak your rectum in your helmet. As to lotions or ointments, stick solely to the ones made for this condition. I have used a generic form of Preparation H very often and very successfully. If they are not working or giving you more trouble then perhaps you have something more serious or at least different and thus a doctor's visit would be called for.
     
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  19. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=- Club Member

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    The lack of Maynard in this thread is Disappoint

    Sent from my LG-MS770 using Tapatalk 4 Beta
     
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  20. Vendigo

    Vendigo German Gigolo Club Member

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    Stop using them. A wet climate (think jungle, baby) will only sustain the irritation. Keep your arse religiously dry from anything that's not water and/or special creams or ointments. Using baby wipes is probably the best way to catch really nasty conditions to begin with.
     
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  21. Ohiophinphan

    Ohiophinphan Chaplain Staff Member Luxury Box

    ....and by the way, like it or not, I do pray for you and the rest of the folks who visit this website regularly.:wink2:

    I sincerely hope some of this helps. Having suffered from fissures and hemorrhoids off and on for years, I know how miserable they can be.
     
  22. Sethdaddy8

    Sethdaddy8 New Member

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    Hey I'm Catholic! We hardcore in this family! And thanks. I'm gonna try soaking and keep up with the Prep H. Gonna lay off the wipes. Actually picked up a sitz-bath too. It's time to take my *** back!!! Thanks all and keep any suggestions coming.
     
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  23. McLovin

    McLovin Resident Pats fan.

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    my f'ing sides.


    [​IMG]
     
  24. Sethdaddy8

    Sethdaddy8 New Member

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    You have not lived until you farted in a sitz bath. I encourage you all to run out and buy one at your local pharmacy for $15....and do it. You can thank me later.
     
  25. ToddPhin

    ToddPhin RIP Phinsational Luxury Box Club Member

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    Maybe you should try chewing it better, no?
     
  26. ToddPhin

    ToddPhin RIP Phinsational Luxury Box Club Member

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    I heard on Doctor Oz a combination of mint, lemon juice, menthol, and cayenne powder work wonders topically.
     
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  27. Sethdaddy8

    Sethdaddy8 New Member

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    In form of an enema? Shall I line the tube with salt too)
     
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  28. McLovin

    McLovin Resident Pats fan.

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    it must be true then. tv never lies. like how everyone is innocent on COPS
     
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  29. finyank13

    finyank13 Reality Check

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    There is something wrong with all of you on this thread....

    Seth stop being a wuss, go to the doctor...
     
  30. ToddPhin

    ToddPhin RIP Phinsational Luxury Box Club Member

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    No that might make it uncomfortable.
     
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  31. Sethdaddy8

    Sethdaddy8 New Member

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    I didn't go then...and I'm not goin now!!!
     
  32. finyank13

    finyank13 Reality Check

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    Fine I will pray that an animal pops out of your pooper.....
     
  33. Sethdaddy8

    Sethdaddy8 New Member

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    Well what the hell does that mean? Is that a good thing? A solution? A bad thing? Maniac.
     
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  34. McLovin

    McLovin Resident Pats fan.

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    ask maynard to rim you.
     
  35. finyank13

    finyank13 Reality Check

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    It is karma for not going to the doctor and getting it fixed...you have medical insurance? use it, you pay enough for it in premiums...

    Seriously dude how do you know it isn't something worse God forbid??

    Go to the doctor, get a local, have an "exam", close your eyes and pretend it is somebody else....boom done..
     
  36. Sethdaddy8

    Sethdaddy8 New Member

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    sitz bath is working...I'M IN CONTROL !!!
     
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  37. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=- Club Member

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    I think this is part of the problem actually.
     
  38. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=- Club Member

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    Great to hear!

    (also couldn't help but chuckle just a little)
     
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  39. Sethdaddy8

    Sethdaddy8 New Member

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    So I have invented a new game...unfortunately.

    It's called "don't sh!t in the sitz bath!"
     
  40. McLovin

    McLovin Resident Pats fan.

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    so its like oil pulling, for your butt.
     

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