Doormat GM of AFCE, Buddy Nix, fired & shocking replacement after molestation charges

ToddsPhins · Jan 25, 2012

Doormat GM of AFCE, Buddy Nix, fired after molestation charges

--Buffalo Times senior sports writer, Bill Seatshat, reports--

In a surprising turn of events, the Buffalo Bills have relieved Buddy Nix of his GM duties after publicly molesting a dead moose, despite such practice being widely accepted in the town of Buffalo.

Sources have it that Nix failed to shout "First dibs!" on the recently deceased road kill and simply jumped right in, prompting other eagerly awaiting onlookers into a violent rage that resulted in the tragic trampling of one recently turned sixteen year old third grader.
As one anonymous bystander said, "This sort of practice is not acceptable in Buffalo. Everyone knows if you don't yell "First dibs" you go to the back of the line!" Buffalo Mayor, Byron Brown, who was third in line, promptly responded, "It's a slap in the face to Buffalo. This is not the image we want portrayed to the rest of the country."

In the third graders last breath he was heard murmuring, "Buddy. you-***hole.. I waited.. sixteen years... to-finely-get.. a-piece-a..... sum. moose... puuuuuuuuuuuuu.".

Bills owner, Ralph Wilson, has taken a unique approach in hiring Nix's replacement. Wilson stated during his press conference, "This Bills team is so accustomed to being butt****ed by the rest of the NFL that I felt Peter North, long time porn star, was the best man to fill the vacancy." "If Peter can't turn this bunch around, nobody can!"
Close friend of Bills quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick, Patrick Fitzryan, said Ryan's initial reaction was one of excitement, "I'm a big fan of Peter and can't wait to have his input!".

When asked by ESPN about his approach as first time NFL GM, North responded, "Hey Erin, ever seen a 10...... I mean-- business as usual for me." "This'll become a physical, aggressive team." said North. "The days of moose-****ing are over! We're gonna pound it and score in heavy bursts, while allowing very little penetration."

"I'm not sure how I feel about the moose-****ing days being over becuase the team and I have shared some great memories over the years", said Mayor Brown, "but this is a great addition to the town of Buffalo. Our three hundred fans nationwide should open themselves up to Peter and embrace the bigger and better things he brings with him."

I for one agree. I've recently opened myself to Peter, and it feels grrrrrreat!!!
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link listed below:
http://www.thephins.com/forums/showthread.php?68188-Doormat-GM-of-AFCE-Buddy-Nix-fired-amp-shocking-replacement-after-molestation-charges

Boik14 · Jan 25, 2012

So Gary Sandusky is his replacement just to keep the tradition going?

ToddsPhins · Jan 25, 2012

Boik14 said:

So Gary Sandusky is his replacement just to keep the tradition going?
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No way. Sandusky failed to say "First dibs", too.

This Bills organization wants no part of morally-deprived individuals who choose to not follow the standard "claims" process.

Besides, Peter North was already hired as his replacement, stoopid.

Fin-Omenal · Jan 25, 2012

ToddsPhins said:

No way. He failed to say "First dibs", too.

This Bills organization wants no part of morally-deprived individuals who choose to not follow the standard "claims" process.

Besides, Peter North was already hired as his replacement, stoopid.
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Jeff Striker has a better resume if you ask me.

ToddsPhins · Jan 25, 2012

Fin-Omenal said:

Jeff Striker has a better resume if you ask me.
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Can he win that carnival/fair squirt gun game with his d***?

Fin-Omenal · Jan 25, 2012

ToddsPhins said:

Can he win that carnival/fair squirt gun game with his d***?
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Not sure, but good luck topping that ball fro.

ToddsPhins · Jan 25, 2012

Fin-Omenal said:

Not sure, but good luck topping that ball fro.
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I'm not so optimistic about attempting that, Omenal.
I kinda want mine looking un-small if you know what I mean. Yeah you do.

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