(cue music)
Playing ten yards off the line of scrimmage is considered press coverage.
Insurance companies refuse to insure his treadmill.
He was once chased by a cheetah and PETA sued him for causing the animal to become clinically depressed.
As a child he was misdiagnosed with restless leg syndrome.
He ran away from home at the age of 1.
He occasionally fills in for the mechanical rabbit at dog tracks.
He once entered a rickshaw in a NASCAR race...and won.
He forced Busch Gardens to set a speed limit for its paddleboats.
At the age of 5 he became the World Champion at red light, green light.
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unluckyluciano, HULKFish, SnakeoilSeller and 13 others like this.
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and BuckeyeKing like this.
The music doesn't play in my head unless the syntax is just so...
unluckyluciano, Da 'Fins and jetssuck like this.
Gates is so fast, he passed Juan Huron..:shifty:
Hobiesailor, Zeke0123, TiP54 and 2 others like this.
In high school he was asked to run for student council...He wasn't seen again for weeks.
unluckyluciano, Da 'Fins, Starry31 and 5 others like this.
:lol:
I hope he is that piece we need for this offense to be dynamic.
LOL, I just googled Juan Huron and got this post from CK...
http://www.thephins.com/forums/showthread.php?25708-My-Interview-with-THE-Juan-Huron
padre31 likes this.
For his science project he proved Einstein's theory of relativity with only a flashlight and a stopwatch...
Who is Juan Huron?
Some from PhiNomena:
The only kind of press that can cover Gates is done by his dry cleaner.
"Speed Kills" isn't just a common phrase, but was actually used against Gates in the court of law when he beat a cornerback so bad he was charged with assault with a deadly weapon.
Gates isn't scared to go across the middle, he is just so fast there is only a beginning and an end.
Isn't he that kid in one of the posters sigpic? He's Latino with two eyeblack streaks under his eyes...
He tried cocaine once his freshman year in college...He's still coming down.
He blacks out every time he tries to watch soccer...
He bought his first car with the money he made delivering pizzas...
unluckyluciano, Larry Little, Da 'Fins and 8 others like this.
every time i hear that guys name i just die laughing
He dries his clothes by doing wind sprints...
His spirit guide is Deion Sanders...
When Ireland asked if he has ever run a train, he replied, "Amtrack or Bullet?"
After eating Chinese food, he is hungry again in fifteen minutes...
Lightning stops and asks him for directions...
His shadow regularly takes 3rd place at track meets...
unluckyluciano likes this.
That's right I'm keeping it alive.
To this day, he still doesn't know what yellow means in a traffic light...
Gates cannot run at full speed, because if he does he will age prematurely
unluckyluciano and Pandarilla like this.
Gates can catch a bullet with his fingers... from behind
His 40 yard dash time was actually recorded in milliseconds (4.37)
His gym teacher told him once to run in place, no one in a 5 mile radius survived
Defenders use Acme products to try to catch him
Pandarilla likes this.
and Pandarilla like this.
Oh,now I get it. This ENTIRE thread is just to try and get me to bet "Stay Thirsty" in tomorrows Kentucky Derby. Well........it worked, I will. :yes:
Pandarilla likes this.
So much for slow times funny thread Pandarilla.
Gates is so fast he once outran Chuck Norris!
Pandarilla likes this.
Guest
Gates is so fast, he wasn't born. He's been running since existence. Some scientists posit that it was his running that started the Universe.
Pandarilla likes this.
Gates is the only man to ever successfully run away from Chuck Norris.
Gates is so fast, he can turn off the lights in a room and be in bed before the room is dark.
Gates is has Sunday's paper on Thursdays.
Pandarilla likes this.
Gates once stopped to smell the roses, Wiley Coyote almost had him.
Edmond gates watches zombie films and thinks there comedies
Gates once beat Michael Phelps in a race to the other side of the pool and back, without getting wet.
Pandarilla likes this.
It has taken Edmund Gates 25 years to finally slow down enough to be seen by the naked eye.
Pandarilla likes this.
In order to coax him out the womb, doctors stapled a finish line ribbon across Mrs. Gates' vagina...
jetssuck likes this.
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