This is a spot I did for the Doritos Crash the Super Bowl contest (winning ads last were the slow motion pug, Doritos cheese powder, and Doritos bringing things to life). It's fantasy football related so I thought it might interest some of you. Hope you like it! http://www.crashthesuperbowl.com/#/gallery?video=10897
I like the concept. However, I think I would have done something FF related (i.e. "he always does this embarassing victory dance" - cut to dude doing a whacky dance on the table in his briefs) for the comical interludes. The theme is a little underdeveloped and thus the "payoff" doesn't work quite as well as it could. Strictly imho and all that, of course.
We had more of an elaborate concept, but the time limit is strictly 30 seconds so we really had trim it down. It wasn't something we spent a lot of time on (maybe a day writing/developing, 2 hours of acting, and maybe 2 hours of editing) so I would agree that it's a little underdeveloped.