What are you Favorite Quotes or Sayings Some of mine: "Just when they think they got the answers, I change the questions." -Roddy Piper "I'm so quick, I could spit in the wind, duck, and let it hit the old lady behind me." -Roddy Piper "Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe **** yourself" -Sgt. Dignam One time, this guy handed me a picture of him, he said,"Here's a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is when you were younger. -Mitch Hedberg I like an escalator because an escalator can never break, it can only become stairs. There would never be an escalator temporarily out of order sign, only an escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience. -Mitch Hedberg "I brought a donut and the guy gave me a receipt for the donut. I don't need a receipt for the donut, I give you the money, you give me the donut, end of transaction. We do not need to bring ink and paper into this. I can not imagine the scenario where I would have to prove that I bought a donut." -Mitch Hedberg "it's like I used to tell my wife. I do not apologize unless I think I'm wrong. And if you don't like it you can leave. And I say the same thing to my current wife and I'll say it to my next one, too." -Stanley Hudson "...but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to ****in' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?" -Tommy DeVito "Yes, I was the first one out. And yes, I’ve heard "women and children first". But, we do not employ children. We are not a sweatshop, thankfully. And women are equal in the workplace by law. So if I let them out first, I have a lawsuit on my hands." -Michael Scott "I got them a toaster. They called off the wedding and gave the toaster back to me. I tried to return the toaster to the store, and they said they no longer sold that kind of toaster. So now my house has got two toasters." -Stanley Hudson "For a long time it gave me nightmares, having to witness an injustice like that. It was a constant reminder of how cruel the world can be. I can still hear them taunting him... "Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids." ...How come they just couldn't give him some cereal?!" -Carlton Banks "Why So Serious" -The Joker
obvious for me: "To me, there are three things we all should do every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. And Number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. "If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full day. That's a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you're going to have something special." Jimmy V. (Mar '93)
WORM: Just like the sayings says, you know?. In the poker game of life, women are the rake. They are the ****in' rake. MIKE: What the **** are you talkin' about? What-what saying? WORM: Well I don't know. There oughtta be one. and WORM: You know what cheers me up when I'm feeling ****ty? MIKE: What? WORM: Rolled up aces over kings. MIKE: Is that right? WORM: Yeah. Check-raising stupid tourists and taking huge pots off of them. MIKE: Yeah? WORM: Stacks and towers of checks I can't even see over. Playing all-night high-limit Hold'em at the Taj, "where the sand turns to gold." MIKE: **** it, let's go. WORM: Don't tease me. MIKE: Let's play some ****in' cards. to name a couple...
And a good ol' Seinfeld one... "Kramer goes to a fantasy camp. His whole life is a fantasy camp. People should plunk down two-thousand dollars to live like him for a week. Do nothing, fall ***-backwards into money, mooch food off your neighbors, and have sex without dating. *That's* a fantasy camp!"
wow i forgot my all time favorite... You can't lose what you don't put in the middle...But you can't win much either.
I thought the Rocky Mountains would be a little rockier than this. "that John Denver is full of **** man."
"It is better to burn out, then to fade away" - Neil Young "Everyone has a plan until they get hit in the mouth," Mike Tyson "Where is my money you whore?!?!?!?" -Albert Einstein
"The best armour is to stay out of range" - Unknown EDIT: I should listen to that one. Specially when drinking.
"I would rather live one day as a Lion, as opposed to 50 as a sheep" "If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done"
Winston Churchill and some lady at a function, I believe during WW2 Lady "Winston, your drunk. Churchill "Yes, yes I am. But your ugly, and tomorrow I'll be sober.
"First you take a run at La Fours with a sock full of quarters. I'd do it, but I pulled my back at humping your mom last night." --Jay from Mallrats
I think this pretty much sums up our generation Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy **** we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off. - Tyler Durden, Fight Club http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jX1OmB9a-VM
-"If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason." -“I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they’d never expect it.” -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey As Dr. Cox once said: I am fairly sure that if they took porn off the internet, there would only be one website left, and it would be called 'bring back the porn'.
one of my favorites. also, "the difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little "extra" " --Jimmy Johnson "I fear nothing but God and Weddings" --lil' wayne "I only care about two things in this world, my freaks and my peaks" --scott steiner "you angry at breakfast?" --katt williams
Sir Winston Churchill, British PM 1940-45 & 1951-55 "A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."
