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Females...

Discussion in 'Outreach Forum' started by vmarcilfan75, Jul 8, 2013.

  1. vmarcilfan75

    vmarcilfan75 blah...blah...blah... Club Member

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    little back story...met a girl almost 2 yrs ago in vegas through a mutual friend of a friend. Thought she was attracted, and cool and took shots 3mins after meeting her and We flirted a little but i didnt think much because of the drinking. we all went out to a club she spent that Saturday night dancing hang with him and figured she liked him like most women do. They hung out for the next couple months, and they stop. She starts a relationship with someone else for the next year.

    During that time We post here and there on Facebook and hung out with a group couple times for happy hour when she invited.

    Fast Forward to March of this year and she tells me shes single. Come the end of April she asks to hang out and we do

    So after talking that night she mentioned she was never sexually with my friend and that they only kissed and she liked me since vegas. i guess i wasnt aggressive enough that weekend with her and he was. Bam!! She makes a move on me and we start kissing.

    Conversation gets pretty serious and asks what are my goals in life and if im ready for kids and marriage. I feel stupid especially being in my late 30s and i dont have any goals in life. Also said not sure about marriage/kids. If it happens it happens i havent found someone i can see myself with. She has 2 kids already and sees herself with another one and married again and going to school

    a week or so later a family member of her passes away and go over to drop off some flowers. She tells me that night that we could not be in a relationship cause were looking for different things and not on the same page but we can be hang out and see other people.

    This is where i get confused even after she mentions the above, All May through beginning of June we've hung out every friday and saturday nights and even a sunday for hockey playoff. txt/dm on facebook all day and night. Texting got sexual her sending pics of skinamax soft porn and tells me shes thinking about me. She says 3 things a female should know sex,cooking and like sports.

    Now that school started for her(mondays) I have not seen her since June and our texting and dwindled down a ton. But there 90% a Good Morning/Night from one of us

    I know of 2 times she had time but went on a blind date(just to dinner..she said she didnt like him to strong personality) and a baseball game with a mutual friend.

    i really got hooked on this girl. Shes attracted, funny, smart, open minded, simple girl who has her head on straight.

    So what my question is Am i wasting my time here with her or should i ride it out and see what happens???
     
  2. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=- Club Member

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    Go for it. You have my blessing.

    Sent from my Transformer TF101 using Tapatalk 2
     
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  3. TiP54

    TiP54 Bad Reputation

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    Live from the Internet.
    [​IMG]
     
  4. #1 fan

    #1 fan Well-Known Member

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    Dude, she just wants to ****. Get your meat wet and move on.
     
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  5. Boik14

    Boik14 Admin Staff Member Club Member Retired Administrator

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    Youre not wasting your time, youre wasting her time. She said she likes you, she was forward with you, and she gave it up for you as a mom of 2. The question you need to ask is can you handle being the dad of 2 kids who arent yours? If you can't, then let her do her thing. If you can you should move on her and let her know your feelings for her have evolved to where you wanna give it a shot.
     
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  6. vmarcilfan75

    vmarcilfan75 blah...blah...blah... Club Member

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    i can handle the kids part i dated a mom of 3 when i was 25. :lol:

    i think it has to do more of Do i want to have a kid and be married within the next 2 years like shes mentioned?? I'm not sure at the moment. but i am starting to figure out i dont want to be alone my whole life.

    Im just trying to figure out the last month, what changed besides school starting? i understand not seeing me but what about the txting? does she still like me and waiting for ME to step up?

    Man im not good at this stuff....:pity: :lol:

    for the record she hasnt given it up lol
     
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  7. padre31

    padre31 Premium Member Luxury Box

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    Hmm, well, what I've found is the old saw of "knowing whether they'd sleep with you in 3 seconds of meeting you" to be rather true, so I suspect you are there on that one.

    Do suspect she has other male "friends" though, which would explain the on again, off again stuff.
     
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  8. Muck

    Muck Oh hello Retired Administrator

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    Texting without following thru will ultimately fizzle/run its course.

    Sounds like you had a window to have fun and it's passed you by. Sometimes it's better to let the situation breathe and restart in a few weeks. Get some of the newness back. Meet her out with your group for drinks or some fun social setting. Just show up and see where the night takes things.

    - sent from my HTC One using Tapatalk 4 beta -
     
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  9. 305

    305 Ryan F'n Tannehill Club Member

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    Go away.. 'batin.
    One thing I've learned over time is not to put too much thought into trying to understand women. Women understand women, and they hate each other.
     
  10. padre31

    padre31 Premium Member Luxury Box

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    Eh, don't B14:

    Basically, when 90% of females say this, there is nothing that is going to happen.

    Of the 10% who say this but mean "yeah it's going to happen" eat pints of ice cream and watch sappy 80's movies, we aren't talking about a huge market there..:lol:

    I'd like to meet whomever came up with the idea of giving flowers to a women was a good idea, tbh, when I've chatted with them about it they find it to much of an escalation. Don't pedestal women, they are human and think 99% of guys just want to **** them. So the nice, thoughtful, concerned stuff can hit them as disingenuous padering by thirsty dudes.

    Not saying be an outright prick, am saying it's more important to do your own thing first and foremost.
     
  11. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    yeah man. time to **** or get off the pot basically. You want her, you'll have to sacrifice. You want to just bang then just hang back and get her next time shes texting you dirty stuff or whatever. Set it up. But, yeah, you can't really not decide you do/don't want her and expect her to be exclusively with you time wise and all.
     
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  12. Boik14

    Boik14 Admin Staff Member Club Member Retired Administrator

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    Well I get that you cant put a time frame on marriage. Thats not fair to you and Id tell her as much. If you can handle the part about having kids by another man thats huge. Most dudes cant or wont handle that and its understandable since its not easy. She probably knows this and will appreciate you for it. But yeah, if you like her, tell her. Just also mention that being married within 2 years isnt always reasonable. Its probably a good idea to live together too for at least a year before marriage so you both make sure that you A) can stand to be around each other all the time and B) Get a sense of what her life is like with 2 kids.
     
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  13. Ohio Fanatic

    Ohio Fanatic 30 years and counting Club Member

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    It's very different for single moms. they are usually willing to give a 2nd shot if the other person is showing that they can commit. But, it's more than a commitment to her (unless she's selfish), it's a commitment to her kids. I've seen many examples of real nice guys going out with my single mom friends, but they are not a good fit for the kids, so the mom loses interest .
     
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  14. Alex44

    Alex44 Boshosaurus Rex

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    She doesn't want you to say "Yeah I'll marry you within two years and have a kid" she wants you to say "I could see myself doing that with the right person. (Tell her why you like her in this space). If things worked out between us it's something that I could see happening."

    If you can't say it and mean it....I agree 100% with Boik in his first post.
     
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  15. ToddPhin

    ToddPhin RIP Phinsational Luxury Box Club Member

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    yes, you're wasting your time if you really like her. Sounds like she determined you both aren't compatible based on your individual goals and plans for the future, but she also sounds like she can separate sex from love and isn't looking to sacrifice her sexuality, and just b/c you're no longer in her plans for the future that doesn't mean you can't be in her current plans of providing some companionship and satisfying her sexual desires, b/c she seems to feel comfortable with you in that regard and probably feels as though you're not a threat to her kids. Basically, it seems like she now wants you around as the temporary wiener and source of fun & company until the longterm man comes along. If you're comfortable in that role then live it up and make sure to keep it light. If that's too tough for you emotionally then let her know and move on to save yourself any heartache.

    The only kicker here is if you're into her enough that she motivates you to come up with an improved plan for the future, one that she can get excited about, and one that you'll follow through on rather than just being a bunch of words, b/c it's obvious you had her heavily intrigued based on personality & chemistry to the point she was vetting you for the job until she realized your life goals don't match up.

    First questions you gotta ask yourself is how much you really like this girl, how much you like her kids, how much you'd be willing to change & sacrifice for her, and how hard you'd be willing to make that change happen and fight for her. If you are willing to up your goals so that they're congruent with hers it will likely take time, and you'd have to go into it understanding that you can't expect her to wait for you, which can be tough pill to swallow unfortunately.
     
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  16. Fin-Omenal

    Fin-Omenal Initiated

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    Phinsational isn't nearly as stupid as he looks..

    +1 on his post
     
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  17. finyank13

    finyank13 Reality Check

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    2 kids AND wants another?!?! Dude walk, too much overhead, you will be in debt for the rest of your life........

    Catch a beaner and keep it moving,....
     
  18. ToddPhin

    ToddPhin RIP Phinsational Luxury Box Club Member

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    I thought you're advocating less kids? :shifty:
     
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  19. finyank13

    finyank13 Reality Check

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    Beaner, lobby, samething...

    no kids...
     
  20. ToddPhin

    ToddPhin RIP Phinsational Luxury Box Club Member

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    Must be different in Rhode Island than Texas I guess. :dunno:
     
  21. CaribPhin

    CaribPhin Guest

    "My relationship is great because I took advice from people on the internet."

    -No one ever

    Don't jump into a relationship just because she likes you or you're afraid to be alone. It looks like she's trying to do that. Be honest about how you feel about her to yourself. You're the only person who can and should make this decision. If you don't see long term, tell her you're only comfortable being friends.

    Sent from my GT-P3110 using Tapatalk 2
     
  22. finyank13

    finyank13 Reality Check

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    BJ....
     
  23. finyank13

    finyank13 Reality Check

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    My advice is sound, why no?
     

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