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For Fun, Asked My Wife To Rank the Dolphins Players' Looks

Discussion in 'Miami Dolphins Forum' started by Bpk, Aug 15, 2012.

  1. Bpk

    Bpk Premium Member Luxury Box

    So I've been trying to get my wife into football. Hard Knocks has helped.

    Of course, when women watch, they can;t help but notice which ones are 'cute' and aren't. For kicks, I thought I'd ask her to rank the attractiveness of the players. here are my wife's

    Pre-Season Dolphins Player Attraction-Power Rankings

    Score out of 100 (plus what she said about them)

    1) Reggie Bush. 80 he's cute. he's one of the better looking guys. nice smile. nice deep eyes.

    2) Matt Moore 70

    3) Roberto Wallace 70

    4) Tannehill 50 Normally I like his type but something about him. I'm not as attracted.

    5) David Garrard 40
    6) Jimmy Wilson 40 he's alright.

    7) Richie Incognito 30 he has a cute face but you're too fat. too much fat with the muscle but his face is cute. I like physicality. if he lost weight he'd be much cuter.
    8) Charles Clay. 30 he's cute. good smile.
    9) Coach Turner 30 he's like a sargeant. real authoritative. i don;t like that at all, but I really like his personality and that makes him cuter. just because I like his personality, not because I think he is good looking. I like his integrity and intensity as a man.
    10) Chris Hogan 30
    11) Davone Bess 30
    12) Cam wake 30

    13) Jared Odrick 20 nice teddy bear kinda look to him. wouldn;t say he's good looking.
    14) John Jerry 20
    15) Jeff Ireland 20
    16) Rashad Jones 20 looks like a rapper
    17) Randy Starks 20
    18) Vontae davis 20

    19) dan carpenter 10, maybe 15. looks like a redneck, like kid rock's athletic brother and I dont think kid rock is a good looking guy. oh god.

    20) Sean Smith 10
    21) Jake Long 10

    22) Head coach "Feldman" Oh my God. definitely down at the bottom. 10 maybe 8

    23) michael egnew 5 'ew. looks like a ****-***** ******. sorry'

    24) Karlos Dansby 4 Manamou! (Greek for like Oh my God/Mother!) Looks like a mac truck ran over his face. he rates down there at four. This is horrible. [she gets guilty-feeling as we hit the ugly guys] I don't like doing this to people.

    25) Anthony fasano. 4 ew. oh my god. he's pretty low. (giggles a long while) (marginally prefers Feldman)

    26) Mike Sherman Who the **** is that? is that the guy standing up talking **** shaming all of them in front of each other, telling them how bad they are on the field?!? I call him Mr Tough Love. honestly there is no rating for him. I feel nothing. So I would probably say 2. But I like that he is weeding out the weak. He is doing his job well.

    27) Paul Soliai Ai yai yai! He looks like a mountain man. He's like a caveman. Like he just climbed down. Absolutely maybe a 2.

    28) Steve Ross 1/100 too weathered. Oh my God. He has ears like an elephant. the good life has caught up to him. been in the sun one too many times. had a lot of sleepless nights. looks really tired. He's the ugliest one so far.
    l


    Well... there you have it.... I thought she was hilarious. It's made more fun by her not knowing who most of them are. Ross, at least, can attract chicks with his money, if not his looks.
     
  2. 2k5

    2k5 I miss Ted Ginn Jr.

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    Incognito and Cam Wake being tied makes me laugh. Jeff Ireland over Sean Smith.
     
  3. Alex44

    Alex44 Boshosaurus Rex

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    So if Reggie wants your wife, you're toast huh?
     
  4. Bpk

    Bpk Premium Member Luxury Box

    Maybe they can settle it somehow to break the tie. Have a Zoolander style walk-off.

    [video]http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMjk1ODI3NTQw.html[/video]
     
  5. Killer Bees

    Killer Bees Bringin' the Ruckus

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    I don't know how she has Moore that high, I think he's ugly looking with those gappy teeth lol
     
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  6. Bpk

    Bpk Premium Member Luxury Box

    Yeah, me too. Makes me wonder if I'm not as gorgeous as I know I am :) lol.
     
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  7. CaribPhin

    CaribPhin Guest

    So...she likes chocolate then?
     
  8. Bpk

    Bpk Premium Member Luxury Box

    Lol. She likes people. Doesn't care black white purple, whatev.
     
  9. Pandarilla

    Pandarilla Purist Emeritus

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    Do you two frequent parks and truck stops?
     
  10. Bpk

    Bpk Premium Member Luxury Box

    Lol. HELL NO!!!!!!!!

    We're not into THAT. Just thought it was funny as we watched and she commented how ugly a player was and I was like, "Really?" because I have no sense of these dudes being attractive or ugly.
     
  11. ToddPhin

    ToddPhin Premium Member Luxury Box Club Member

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    So she likes 'em asphyxiated huh? :tied:
















    :escape2:
     
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  12. ToddPhin

    ToddPhin Premium Member Luxury Box Club Member

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    Anyone else think it's cute watching Barry get flushed and defensive? :lol: :tongue2:
     
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  13. slickj101

    slickj101 Is Water

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    I'm more surprised that you're married than anything else.
     
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  14. RickyNeverInhaled

    RickyNeverInhaled Well-Known Member

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    did she actually know who was who? if so, that's impressive. there's about 4 or 5 people on that list that i couldn't pull out of a line up and i consider myself to be a die-hard fan.
     
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  15. Alex44

    Alex44 Boshosaurus Rex

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    You sir, win at life.

    John Jerry kind of looks like Grimace in a weird sort of way.
     
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  16. ToddPhin

    ToddPhin Premium Member Luxury Box Club Member

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    Barry must wear a lot of collared shirts, eh. [​IMG]















    :lol:
     
  17. ToddPhin

    ToddPhin Premium Member Luxury Box Club Member

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    If I had to poo as much as he does, I'd probably look grimaced, too. :shifty:
     
  18. Yellow Snowman

    Yellow Snowman New Member

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    David Garrard? Your wife is a fatty chaser!!!
     
  19. ToddPhin

    ToddPhin Premium Member Luxury Box Club Member

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  20. ToddPhin

    ToddPhin Premium Member Luxury Box Club Member

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    Barry, you sir are the epitome of class. :shifty: :tongue2:
     
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  21. Paul 13

    Paul 13 Chaotic Neutral & Unstable Genius Staff Member

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    I totally know who you were in your past life.
     
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  22. Paul 13

    Paul 13 Chaotic Neutral & Unstable Genius Staff Member

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    and all I'm going to say to the OP is cuckold. :lol:
     
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  23. Bpk

    Bpk Premium Member Luxury Box

    This is a FAMILY show, sir!














    :escape2:[/QUOTE]
     
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  24. Bpk

    Bpk Premium Member Luxury Box

    lol. Man, dare I ask why. No I don't.
     
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  25. Pandarilla

    Pandarilla Purist Emeritus

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    [​IMG]
     
  26. ToddPhin

    ToddPhin Premium Member Luxury Box Club Member

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    a great man who never matured past the age of 13? :lol:
     
  27. Bpk

    Bpk Premium Member Luxury Box

    No, what's hilarious is she has no clue who they are half the time.

    I loved when she said "Feldman handled Chad well."
     
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  28. Desides

    Desides Well-Known Member

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    What is this, I don't even…
     
  29. ToddPhin

    ToddPhin Premium Member Luxury Box Club Member

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    a toilet seat in a lady's restroom? :shifty:
     
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  30. Bpk

    Bpk Premium Member Luxury Box

    My Wife Supports Coach Feldman

    [​IMG]
     
  31. Bpk

    Bpk Premium Member Luxury Box

    lol. Nah. I leave that to Phinsational when their bull is in town.
     
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  32. Bpk

    Bpk Premium Member Luxury Box

    Who are you..? Bruce Wayne?
     
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  33. Pandarilla

    Pandarilla Purist Emeritus

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    [video=youtube;1hnDs8TuSb0]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hnDs8TuSb0&feature=related[/video]
     
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  34. Alex44

    Alex44 Boshosaurus Rex

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    Well you certainly know the terms. Not doing yourself favors with that one :lol:
     
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  35. Bpk

    Bpk Premium Member Luxury Box

    Archer is hilarious. (Alex, before I met my wife, you have NO idea what I was into... 5000 Shades of Grey... lol.)
     
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  36. ToddPhin

    ToddPhin Premium Member Luxury Box Club Member

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    yes, just much poorer.
     
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  37. djphinfan

    djphinfan Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    Should I start a top ten *** list?
     
  38. ToddPhin

    ToddPhin Premium Member Luxury Box Club Member

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    :plzdie:
     
  39. Bpk

    Bpk Premium Member Luxury Box

    LOL. I think most of the board would say no... but I think that'd be hysterical.
     
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  40. Ludacris

    Ludacris Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    yeah yeah

    So how does she rank the Dolphins wives in a mud wrestling match?
     
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