I have a problem I really can't talk to anyone about, not even my wife. My oldest, closest friend is a contractor working in Iraq. He's been in a lot of dangerous situations in the months he's been there, but feels trapped in the job because he was forced into it by his economic situation. He's got a wife and two kids at home, one of them still a toddler. He wants to quit and leave, but his wife doesn't work and isn't qualified for anything but child care (she's worked that field in the past) and he doesn't have any other jobs available, because the economy sucks. A couple months ago, he came home for his regular two weeks back after six months over there and while he was in Europe on his return trip, he ran into a woman. She's his age---his wife is much younger than him---and very successful and wealthy. She's also married with kids, but her marriage is falling apart. They had a week-long fling and according to him, she's in love with him. He finds her intellectually more interesting than his wife, and, most significantly, if he left his wife and moved in with the new woman, she could support him and he could quit his job and leave Iraq. I've told him that I don't think it's right to leave his kids this way, but he says that at least this way he can support them financially and not be at risk of leaving them with a dead or maimed father. Frankly, I think both he and the woman are just infatuated and that it won't last, and I've told him this...but how can I tell him to NOT leave Iraq and keep himself in danger? I like his wife, but she is young and a bit vaccuous and they never seem to talk about anything, so I can see where they might be having problems. I also know, though, that I would never do that to my kids. I've told him that if he's that worried about his safety, he should just quit, come home and make do...it's better to live on welfare than to get killed just trying to get a paycheck. It's not like he's in the military or there because he's so patriotic, he just needs the money. I am really conflicted and confused and I can't even talk to my wife about it because she is friendly with his wife and I don't want to put her in that position. Does anyone have any advice? When he emails and sometimes is able to telephone, he keeps asking me what he should do and I don't know what to say to him anymore.