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Girl trouble

Discussion in 'Outreach Forum' started by Kanye West, Oct 27, 2010.

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  1. Kanye West

    Kanye West 'Parcells' Guy

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    So things have been going good with me and my girl friend for 6 months now...but last night she tells me she might be getting feelings back for the boy she use to go out with before me.......she said I love you but I might be getting feelings back for Kevin. ( that is her ex boyfriends name)

    Kevin is her ex boy firend and her and kevin have been texting back and forth and I didnt think it was really that big of a deal until last night. Kevin treated Olivia(my girlfriends name) like sh!t. He would metaly abuse her and call her names like **** and whore and make rumors about her when they broke up. He has treated her like sh!it for awhile now. But all the sudden he has been texting her and saying he will be better and that they should get back together. Now I really dont care because I had thought up until last night that there was not chance of her leaving me and she has told him that she is already going out with somebody. Now I am not trying to say I am the best boyfriend ever but even before we were going out I have always been there for her. I give her my best everyday, I have never said anything mean to her, I think I have treated her really well . I am there for her whenever she needs me to be and I will drop everything and anything I am doing to see her or to do help her out like you are suppose to do . I told her last night I wasbt going to be in a bidding war over her love espcially when I treat her so well and he treated her like sh!t. After we hung up last night she sent me some long text message say basically she doesnt know why she said that she might be getting feelings back for kevin because it is not true. She loves me and cant live with out me. I love this girl to death and would do anything for her.

    I dont know what I should do? Should I just believe her and trust the way she says she feels about me really is the way she feels about me? I have been so good to her why would she evn think about having feeling for that pile of sh!t she use to date? I dont know help me please.

    IF YOU AREMY FACEBOOK FRIEND DO NOT TALK ABOUT THIS TO ME ON FACEBOOK OR POST ANYTHING ABOUT THIS ON MY WALL.

    I also work with the kid
     
  2. Tone_E

    Tone_E Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    Some women really are drawn to your prototypical a-hole. The worse you treat them (within reason) the more they are attracted. The saying the nice guy finishes last comes to mind, but it isn't always true.

    If I were you I would make her understand exactly how you feel about her, but also that if she goes back to the ex, that you will not wait around for her and be her safety net - you have more dignity than that. If you want to throw in a little attitude and say, this is what you have, and if this is what you are going to give up for that, you are stupid, but emphasize that your decision is absolute.

    At the end of the day you are only 17 man. This may be your high school sweetheart that you share your 50th anniversary with, but likely not. Sorry to be the bearer of that truth, but you will move on and have other great but tough relationships, like we all have.
     
  3. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=- Club Member

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    Walk away. Trust me and don't put up with this nonsense. You're gonna have to be willing to lose her. The more you beg and plead and reason with her, the more you'll repel her into this idiot's arms. Give her an ultimatum.

    Also trust me when I tell you this: A girl must respect you before she can ever truly love you.
     
  4. Nappy Roots

    Nappy Roots Well-Known Member

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    Why would you think your girlfriend talking to her ex was OK #1?
     
  5. Kanye West

    Kanye West 'Parcells' Guy

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    Im 19 just havent updated my age in a couple years lol.
     
  6. SICK

    SICK Lounge Moderator

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    dont have time now but ill post my thoughts on your facebook wall soon.........................
     
  7. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=- Club Member

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    [​IMG]
     
  8. Fin D

    Fin D Derp Sherpa

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    If you could trust her, you would. Since you obviously can't, then you must end the relationship.

    Any relationship, (love, friend, business, etc.) must have trust or it won't work. No matter how happy you are with her, the doubt will slowly dissolve what you have. Your suspicions will grow louder and louder every time you can't get a hold of her or don't know where she is or are not around her. Every look on her face or eye roll or moment she spends lost in thought, you'll interpret as her thinking about him.

    You're young, you have time to find the right one, until then play the field and have a blast, it is what youth is for.
     
  9. SICK

    SICK Lounge Moderator

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    i got married at 20. was a father at 21. please listen to me. *shakes your shoulders and looks deep into your soul*

    **** random *****es and stay single for the rest of your ****ing life!!!!
     
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  10. Kanye West

    Kanye West 'Parcells' Guy

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    Im not going to tell her to her who she can talk to and who she cant talk to her im not her mom. But maybe I should start telling her not to talk to him.
     
  11. gunn34

    gunn34 I miss Don & Dan

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    Leave her now. You're young. Chalk this up as a learning experience.
     
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  12. SICK

    SICK Lounge Moderator

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    thats the problem, you shouldnt have to tell her that. she shouldnt do it out of respect for you, her current boyfriend. If she doesnt respect you enough to do that for you, even with you treating her so well....how can you see it getting any better?
     
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  13. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    Wait a woman who you treated right, wants to go back to a guy who hasn't??? Say it ain't so!!
    Yeah man people are stupid. Shes either stupid or stupidly young, either way, its time to move on. Learn that trusting your gf to not hook up with her ex is a good idea. But the first time she responded to him with anything other then I don't think my bf would appreciate us talking that **** was over.
     
  14. Kanye West

    Kanye West 'Parcells' Guy

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    I mean should I ask her to stop talking to him or should i just end it? Should I give her the choice either him or me?
     
  15. SICK

    SICK Lounge Moderator

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    its hard to gather, cause you are emotionally tied to this chick, and we are not. but imo the best thing is to go your seperate ways imo.
     
  16. Kanye West

    Kanye West 'Parcells' Guy

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    Im going to be honest with you guys. This is the girl I am helping out with her dad. If you guys remember the thread I had a few months ago it was talking about her and the abuse she has to deal with.

    http://forums.thephins.com/showthread.php?t=49322

    basically I have been through hell with this girl. I have been through a lot with her I mean it has been bigger stuff then what we are going through now. Im not going to lie I love her. So I want to give her every chance I can but at the same point when is it time to call it quites. When does she run out of chances? When do I walk away?
     
  17. Fin D

    Fin D Derp Sherpa

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    You have given her every chance, and she replies with I might want to date my abusive ex-boyfriend.

    You've two chance for happiness:

    - Stay with her IF she gets help, since she's falling into the pattern of abusive parent = going for abusive relationship. And ride it out until change happens or you realize it won't.

    - Leave her now, since she is on the border of breaking the biggest trust two people in a relationship can have.
     
  18. Kanye West

    Kanye West 'Parcells' Guy

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    My heart tells me to give her another chance. My mind is telling me there are plenty of other girls out there. But I dont know if I want any other girls. I see her tonight.....what should I say.
     
  19. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    Then don't see her tonight and tell her you got some **** to think about.
     
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  20. Seeking Answers

    Seeking Answers New Member

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    That's what I said when I was about your age (younger).
     
  21. Pagan

    Pagan Metal & a Mustang

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    Bro...all I can tell you is been there, done that, still have the scars.

    You've been through hell with her, you've helped her, you've loved her....yet she still has feelings for an asshat.

    Cut your losses and run like your dick was on fire.
     
  22. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    Yeah man don't worry about finding another girl, you will. Don't worry about moving on because you will eventually. It will suck and be hard, but you can do it. Any girl worth it wouldn't have to make a decision if they want you or not. She has mental problems it sounds like and if you want to talk to her about it and say hey I think you need counseling then do so, but after that you are done. You can't save everyone mang and you are to young to try.
     
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  23. Fin D

    Fin D Derp Sherpa

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    I don't mean for this to sound like a Hallmark moment or a douche commercial, or even a fortune cookie, but when your heart and mind are on the same page, is when its right.

    As far as what to tell her, well the truth is the right call. Ask yourself what she'd need to do put your mind at ease. Based on what you answer:

    1. You can ask her to do those things, and she does, you ride off into the sunset together.

    2. You ask her to do those things, and she doesn't, you ride off into the sunset getting blown by some strange.

    3. You realize you can't ask her because what you need is either impossible or too much to ask for, in which case the relationship is done, you ride off into the sunset getting blown by some strange.

    Understand this is hard, I don't mean to imply it isn't. What I hope you get from this is that it though may difficult, it is not complicated.
     
  24. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    aaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
    [​IMG]
     
  25. Fin D

    Fin D Derp Sherpa

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    I think we all knew the truth would come out eventually. Now that you've said it, I believe I owe Pagan a dollar.
     
  26. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    just pay the tip on your twos date tonight.
     
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  27. Fin D

    Fin D Derp Sherpa

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    Tips??????

    You get tips????

    Sonofabitch. I knew I needed a pimp.
     
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  28. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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  29. Kanye West

    Kanye West 'Parcells' Guy

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    I know this is wrong to put this on myself, but I feel like i got to save her. I feel like if i am not there then something bad will happen. If it is right or not I feel like I got to stand up for her. I feel like if I dont something bad is going to happen
     
  30. Fin D

    Fin D Derp Sherpa

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    I'll say again, you have done something. If she doesn't get help, then your happiness is not worthy sacrifice.
     
  31. Kanye West

    Kanye West 'Parcells' Guy

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    But I feel like if I say cya then everything I have done has done nothing.

    Tell me if this could be right. What if she is keeping him on the back burner in care i say cya? She is so scared of me leaving for some reason when I never even had threatened that I would leave.

    I mean even if that is what she is thinking it still isnt ok but I am just curious maybe that is what she is thinking.
     
  32. Pagan

    Pagan Metal & a Mustang

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    And if you DON'T say cya and she ends up sleeping with this idiot (which she will...trust me, I've been in enough relationships to know that "I still have feelings for..." really means "I wanna sleep with..." or "I'm already sleeping with....") everything you've done will make you turn into that lollipop in the Bugs Bunny cartoons with "sucker" written across it.

    Get our while you still have your dignity. Like FinD said, mind and heart have to be together. Yours aren't.

    In times like that it's usually the mind that gives the best solution.
     
  33. eric

    eric New Member

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    knock the bottom out one last time. try anything youve been wanting to try with her, then consider calling it quits.

    1. she is texting her old boyfriend
    2. she doesnt care enough to hide the fact that she is texting her old boyfriend(does not respect you or fear any consequence)
    3. she flat out told you she is feeling something for him
    4. she is only denying that now because she realises it was a stupid thing to say. she felt it enough to actually say it to the guy she is dating now (you)
    5. girls like *** holes, not nice guys. especially young stupid chicks which she sounds like.

    i honestly think you need to move on man. find some hot chick your girlfriend knows about or any chick she hates and start digging in that hole. once her ex becomes the jerk he has always been, she will HATE seeing you with some girl she doesnt like and thinking about you treating that girl how you used to treat her.

    your young, you two probably wont stick together forever if you end up together at all. you have to realise that now and be able to accept it. at the very least you need to demand she stop talking to this guy or you will walk. and i think you said he works with you, you need to make him stop talking to her.
     
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  34. Kanye West

    Kanye West 'Parcells' Guy

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    Do i ask to see the convo between her and him?

    I mean i am seeing her tonight no matter what so what do I do?

    1.Do I tell her how I feel about the situation and hopes she figures it out to stop talking to him .
    2.Do I tell her to stop talking to him or else i walk? I feel like if I say that she will be like ok I will stop and then she will talk to him behind my back.
    3.Do I tell her how I feel about this and then say you need to stop talking to him?

    I feel like if I do number 3 and leave her with the choice then i feel like we are either going to sink or swim. I guess we will find out. But I dont know if I should trow it up to chance. I mean I guess I have to at the end of the day if we are going to last.

    I just dont understand the kid was a GRADE A d!ck to her and I basically treat her like a queen and I get spit in my face.
     
  35. eric

    eric New Member

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    ASK to see the conversation? you have to ask? she hasnt offered to show it to you already? i think you trust this girl alot more then you should.

    my girlfriend plays with my phone all the time. i can pick up her phone at any time and look through it. weve been together 3 years. i think you said you only been with this girl 6 months though.

    ive been through a similar situation with her twice before where other guys were chasing her. I told her to go ahead and leave and that she would never see or speak to me again. i wasnt going to compete for her. if it wasnt only me, I was OUT. she's still around.
     
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  36. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    1) Don't try to understand why she wants to go back to him, you'll never understand that. Trust me I've been there.
    2) Don't hinge what you are going to do on if she will or won't stop talking to him. You need to decide if even if she stops talking to him, you can trust her to not do this again.
    3) My dad gave me some great advice once: "Don't ask questions you know you won't like the answer to". Think about that before you ask to see her conversations with the guy.
     
  37. Big E

    Big E Plus sized porn star

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    Dude its a respect issue. You arent her dad but you HAVE to have rules for her.
    Yeh this.
    Bro listen to what I am telling you. I chose to give a girl another chance after she screwed me over and was doing questionable things. I am now stuck in a relationship I am not happy in. Dont be like me man. Get out while you can. I use to have morals and would not settle for anything less than the best for myself, you deserve better bro.



    Listen to us bro, we know what we are talking about. Being alone sucks, but being in a bad relationship sucks worse.
     
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  38. Kanye West

    Kanye West 'Parcells' Guy

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    She has never told me I couldnt go through her phone. I just have no interest. My whole stance since we started the relationship was that if you think there is somebody else out there that will make you happier then I can make you then please go ahead and try and find him.

    I treat her better then I treat myself or anyone else.
     
  39. Nappy Roots

    Nappy Roots Well-Known Member

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    Uh yes you can, and yes you should. I understand friends but ex boyfriends is a whole nother story
     
  40. Kanye West

    Kanye West 'Parcells' Guy

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    Yea, I am talking to her tonight and I guess we will see what is going to happen.

    See the thing was that i am afraid to lose her and these past 6 months have been great. But to get that message last night

    That killed me inside. I dont cry at all but when I read that after I give her EVERYTHING I GOT and I read that I just broke down. So I am giving her the choice tonight me or him and that is that I guess now I ma not going to lie I feel that way now but when I see her tonight am I going to be man enough to still do that?
     

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