Hi....I don't know many people on this site but my life has been one thing after the other for as long as I can remember. I was just notified on Friday that I'm being scaled out of the organization that I started working for 6 months ago in about a month. I just signed a 12 month lease and now have to scramble to find a replacement job. I also was just notified by the person I love that she is seeing some recently divorced middle aged guy (she's 27). She is my ex but we were still on talking terms and we were seriously talking about getting back together. I feel betrayed right now. It just seems like every part of my life is falling apart. I wasn't doing well before these two things happened, and this is just the cherry on top. I seriously haven't felt this alone in my entire life.
sorry to hear this bro. You aren't alone though. Feel free to contact me here and I can send you my email, etc if you need to talk.
You could go to the mafia and get a job as a hitman and have someone order a hit on your ex. You get paid, ***** gets shot. Two birds, one stone, and all that. I'm really just kidding, but it would be a good way to solve both problems at once if there were no moral issues. note: the phins nor I do not condone killing. I do condone making a joke out the most extreme situations because, hey, we're all going to die anyway. May as well laugh at it if you can. You could PM me if you need to but I'm going to be honest with you and tell you I'm going through **** of my own. I'm a great listener, and advice giver, but I've got a lot on my plate right now. If you feel suicidal or like things are way too rough though.. PM me. There are other great people here, like padre/lucky/JS, that may also be able to help.
Hey man, sorry to hear youre going through a tough time. Ive been unemployed before and I understand what its like. You feel useless at times because you arent working. And when a girl you love hurts you, youre going to feel certain things: betrayal, probably some anger, you'll feel like you wasted time with her. There isnt much you can do about it. When you create a relationship with someone youre investing things that arent tangible like time and effort and simply cant be recovered. But dude, youre 33. Your still young. Look at the bright side and think about this...what if you married the girl and 30 years later she dumped you. That would hurt a lot more. (sorry to rehash memories if anyone went through that) The good news: You will now have to research careers and maybe land yourself in a better situation doing something that you may even like more. If your ex decided to go in a different direction, much like with the company there isnt much you can really do except fight to earn her back if thats what you really want. Much like I told anglp earlier today, theres no point in worrying about stuff you cant control. Thats a useless battle and you cant control people's feelings towards you or a company's direction. Its not going to be easy but nothing worth fighting for in life ever is. Whatever you do, dont ever give up. Always feel free to PM or hit me up on aim.
Dude just relax, and take a deep breathe bro, step back and think, what everything about, where is it all going, and why did it happen...EVERYTHING happens for a reason my friend, and when sheet hits the fan, all that means is when u wade out of it, you be that much stronger and wiser....Without struggle there is no life.....Reach out to people close to you, PM me, do what you need to get to that light... You wanna break your rought times, break what you are doing these days, start by doing something you wouldnt normally do on your day off....Something you deem uncomfortable, do it watch your confidence grow as you complete whatever it is you set out to do, that you previous didnt want too.... Fight bro fight...
Hello Merauder... So seeing your X going her way and loosing your job are two tough cookies for sure... I am sorry to hear that ... but... things could still be worse, I know it does not seem like it know. You did not get to where you were by sitting around and waiting for things to fall into your lap, did you??? your X was seperated from you for a reason... Even though you still have feelings for her, it takes two to make a relationship and it seems like your partner has not taken her place besides you yet... Jobs, that is the toughest of the two issues you are going through IMO... I might be carazy to say that in todays economy it is harder to find a decent job than find a mate... Things will get better, stick around your family and friends for comfort and support...
My life is unraveling with every day passing. I appreciate everyone's comments and support. I've never felt this overwhelmed in my life. I'm not going to go down without a fight but I don't see strawberry fields in my future.
You arent supposed to see it in your near future, dude that much eff'ed up stuff happens, it takes time to rebuild....dude come on...you gotta wanna do it, you sound like you dont.....get on it again and ride bro...
Other than searching for work, which is something you can't ignore...... busy yourself with something, anything that will take the focus off of the hard times you're having. Getting your head straight will make this situation much easier to deal with... Pick yourself up and force yourself to move forward.... you can do it bro, you've made it this far, right? Football is right around the corner and we've got a lot to be excited for, so there's that......it's summer time and girls wear less clothing, so there's that too;] Things can and will get worse if you give up........ time heals a lot of things. Just get thru this period the best you can and I'm sure you'll have brighter days ahead.
You son of a ***** ok not really Linebackers, and any injury to Dansby or Marshall (from the what worries me most conversation yesterday).
Sorry to hear about your luck. Not much I can do to help you, but just remember if it weren't for **** times like you're going through now, we wouldn't appreciate the good times. It will get better. You'll find another job, and you'll find a much better woman. Don't think about doing something like hurting yourself over a girl. She's not worth it. I know it's cliche, but living well really is the best revenge.
Sorry I am a bit late to the thread. I am at camp with 33 middle school kids until late Friday! Using the common, office computer early in the morning. You have been dealt a bad hand, there is no denying that. The knowledge that others have also may be somewhat helpful but it is still going to hurt a great deal! How do you get past it? Sounds corny but the best answer is one day at a time. Start looking for work, be open about your life, and keep living it. I personally have found the best way to ease through personal problems is to be deeply engaged in life. If you are able try volunteering somewhere, senior center, pet shelter, library, whatever. Not only does it feel good helping others but you meet people who put others first and that is a nice circle to run around in. Stay active here and if you are a person who is open to religious expression, seek out a community of faith. There again, your focus will be lifted off you directly and you will (hopefully) be around folks who care. Stay in touch.
I'll echo boik as well. If you want to immerse yourself in something (I'm just getting out of a 3 year hole myself) I find that Madden really helps me, and you had even started a thread on it. I want to get into coaching next summer and would love to tutor you through building a team. Even if it's something "insignificant" like a video game it beats a knife or a cliff.
What Steve said above is helpful, IMO. (btw, Steve, you get my PM?) I do similar things to take my mind off of stuff. Basketball, video games, watching tape, research. Research and watching tape does it for me the best. It all sounds cheesy but it works every time. Do something that will occupy your time and it will decrease your stress level. For those who say there's nothing for them out there to do to occupy their time, trust me there is. There are so many things out there you can do. Pick up a new hobby. Pick up on an old hobby.
Yeah I did. I was on a roll and just tried to go based off of previous conversations. I didn't trade back just to trade back and I drafted pretty well. I'll send you a list tomorrow.
Thank you all for your thoughtful comments. I've been having a hard time finding motivation to do anything these days. I just am really depressed and overwhelmed. I don't feel positive at all about my future. I'm going to be out of work soon with no girlfriend. Oh yeah....I'm an alcoholic too.
It is not surprising given the number of hits you have absored recently. Just stay at it. Stay engaged with life. Still drinking or in recovery?
Recognizing you're an alcoholic is an important step. As OHFF said, in recovery or otherwise? If you still have a hold of the bottle (and not the other way 'round) try to put it down for a few weeks and figure out why you feel the need to drink. For me it's because I never feel like I'm doing good enough to others and it's an escape to owning up to my own strength.
I know you didn't ask for my opinion and you've got the right to be pissed about this if you want to be, but as an aspiring psychologist I suggest you look into state healthcare and seek professional help. I'm in therapy as we speak and it has done wonders for me. If you wanna chew me out go for it, but I'm just looking out for what I believe your best interests are. The bottle had a hold of me at one point and it was very refreshing to put it down. Now if only I could stop eating all these damn milkshakes.
Conciously it may feel like that but I suppose I have to think that since you are on this site, talking about sharing, maybe, maybe you really do want to live, just live better than you are now. I again suggest you get some help. Try a 12 step, counseling service, mental health clinic, something. We can reach out here and will do what we can but nothing beats some straight up ftf aid. I hope you get it, we need all the Phin phans we can keep!
Absolutely he does, you can tell...I buddy was a bad alcoholic, BAD, he did it, and has been sober for 5 years now, and has just finished his masters degree, and is getting married at the end of this month....Part divine intervention but 95% due to himself busting his *** to want to do it....It definately can be done, you have to want it to be done, my buddy got his life back, and couldnt be happier, you can too bro.....look at who is on your avatar....he busted his ***, your in the fight of your life, just keep doing it, one day at a time... I also echo the other posters here, call for some help, that doesnt mean you are weak, there is no shame in it, there is no stigma attached...they are there to help you get to the promise land...
I've been "self medicating" by drinking and smoking weed for half my life and I've become dependent on it. I would tell you my life story but I have done that in the past and people have tried to use it against me. Lets just say that I have a large amount of problems. Counseling and everything else doesn't seem to have an affect on me. Basically, the past few months I have been feeling like my life is spiraling out of control. I don't have much hope for the future. I have persistent suicidal thoughts. I feel like the majority of people I come in contact with in real life have a negative perception of me and treat me as if I was inferior to them. I don't feel respected by most people but yet I'm the most considerate, thoughtful and generous person I know. I'm tired of being a nice person when I don't ever get anything in return. It seems like everyone has their hand out these days but never wants to give anything themselves. All I see are selfish, greedy, inconsiderate and ignorant people. I'm sick of it all. I appreciate all your comments and everything but I just feel completely doomed/hopeless right now. The only thing that I have to look forward to in my life right now is the fact that preseason starts soon.
I am very sad to read of your situation. Certainly the long term "self-medication" with depressants has had a long-term effect of making (or perhaps perpetuating) a major issue with depression. Counseling while under self-medication is generally, in my experiance, a waste of everyone's time. The drugs you are taking, and let's be clear alcohol and marijuana are physcoactive chemical agents, are impeding any other inputs you may be receiving from friends, counselors, family or whomever. I care what happens and hope/believe others do as well. They may feel however that a tough love approach to you is all they can handle after the years have gone by. In other words they may have tired of trying until they see a change in your behavior, i.e. quitting your self-medication. You may in fact be the "most considerate, thoughtful and generous person" you know but I would be willing to wager that the first phrase others would use to describe you would be something like "addicted" and likely not in a pleasant way. That is what they are going to see first and everything else about you will be swept aside in their thinking. Get some real help. Stop using, get clean, get into long term therapy so you can learn all over again how to do the things you have previously learned to do only through the haze of alchohol and drugs.
You can quit bro, there are options, you aren't dependent on it, you may think you are, because sheet is so messed up right now, but you can do it. Keep trying. Keep reaching out to people, keep communicating, the day you dont wanna communicate anymore is the darkest of days. The fact you are communicating so often unprovoked is letting us know as a family, that you do care. Consider this ur family, we arent selfish or greedy, I think I can safely speak for the whole phins.com crew when I say that all we care about is your health son...football, politcal, arguments are all miniscule compared to having your health. Lastly man, take some shred of positive and build on it, like waiting for the preseason as you said. That door once arrived at, will open and then there will be something else behind it worth looking forward too, let it build...Call somebody, and tell them of your thoughts of harming yourself..they want to help...
I can totally relate to self medicating as I started drinking when I was 16 or 17. I stopped when I saw it was hurting people I loved. I didnt want to stop necessarily because people I thought were my friends were still doing it. If you dont want to stop for yourself, there has to be someone you love enough to want to stop for. As for your problems, no amount of problems is going to be solved by self medicating. All your problems are just going to sit there and marinate, making you feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders until you get clean. If you dont get clean, your life wont change until you do. So you can be miserable and stay feeling the way you feel now or you can do something to change. Changing isnt easy but Ive seen people stop smoking after 40 years, Ive seen people stop using drugs after they'd done them for a number of years. It's up to you to want to do so. Youre an adult and no one can make you do stuff. However, if you don't want to do it, ultimately none of us can do anything for you which is unfortunate but true. The truth though is that people who usually think about killing themselves are usually the ones that want help. Thinking about it is a deterrent from actually doing it because your conscious knows its the easy way out. Really what you're telling us is you want help but ultimately you have to take the steps. All we can do is support you brother. As for your feelings about people, it speaks to the types of people you're hanging out with. I've felt that way as well and ultimately once you meet different people you realize thats ultimately not the truth. I've been down a similar road as youre on now. Looking at your own past and self analyzation is ultimately the best view of who you are, your life, and who you ultimately want to become. You can't change what's behind you, only whats in front of you. No one said life was easy, sometimes we find out the hard way it's not. Anyway I can help, holla dude.
Life can be total bull**** sometimes my man. You only have one chance though so don't give up and stay strong. The season is almost here and your boys here have your back. It'll pick up soon. Maybe tomorrow, maybe next week. Soon man.
Life is alot like a box of chocolates when you indulge to long it's empty. I have many issues similiar to what you are going through. I have gone on and off with alcohol addiction, i haven't worked in awhile and not feeling that happy. I probably worse cause i havent felt good enough that i have anything to share with a new Girlfriend and kinda stopped looking. But remember how ya felt when you were happy, one happy moment and ya know it's possible. What was that situation that made ya happy. recreate it, take the neighbors dog that never gets out for a walk, ask the old lady down the hall or street for lunch. Go do something for others it helps me. Im not perfect and still screw up but i feel better at times . I use to think partying with friends made me happy then i learned that was false satisfaction, Id go do one thing good (help someone, ace a test, whatever and felt great, then made me feel bad when i would go home and drink to celebrate and saw my cycle end. Everyones is different. But you have to look at what is really the good life . I when younger I saw professionals and was the best thing i ever did. I hope you do also. Actually I think I will again. Thats why there profesionals and its all confidential. I DONT PREACH JUST OFFERING ADVICE, But what ever ya do , drunk, sober scared happy. PM me, Im always bored and would be happy to talk about anything.
I'm doing alright, thanks. Somewhat better now. Sorry for the delayed response. Hadn't checked the thread in a couple weeks. I made the decision to stop drinking earlier this week. I know it's not going to be easy but what is?
Best of luck man! You got support here from me and many others. Keep us updated, unless you wish not to, which I completely understand.
Its a start bro Nothing is easy, if you have a drink too, it doesnt mean you failed either my friend. Would you consider having a drink 1 or 2 days a week failure, over 7?? I wouldnt.....I would consider it progress...
Good luck man!! Sometimes when life drags you down so far, it has a tendency to sling shot you right back up to heights you never seen before!! Sounds like your on that path!! Just never forget the bad times..... As much as they suck, they provide a wealth of knowledge and experience that can be used as sort of a tool to get you in, and keep you in the right direction....kinda like an "I've seen hell, and I dont like it" kinda thing......
