GETTING TO GAME
To get to the game, simply ask any Miami resident for directions to ``Sun Life Stadium'' and you will be rewarded with a blank stare, because until about 15 minutes ago it was officially named ``Land Shark Stadium.'' It has also been officially named ``Dolphins Stadium,'' ``Pro Player Stadium,'' ``Joe Robbie Stadium,'' ``McDonald's Value Meal Stadium,'' ``Toilet Duck Stadium,'' ``The Law Offices of Leonard A. Tortmonger and Associates Stadium,'' and ``Jason Whiffenberger's Bar Mitzvah Stadium.'' The largest cash business in South Florida is selling the naming rights to this stadium. For the right price, you can name it after yourself, but only until another buyer comes along, because it is not a faithful stadium. It's the 10-dollar hooker of stadiums.
Anyway, to get to Hooker Stadium from Miami, get onI-95 (not recommended) and drive north until you enter the Golden Glades Interchange, which scientists believe was left here by alien beings.
You will emerge from the Golden Glades somewhere near the stadium. Or, Cleveland. There is no way to tell...
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