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(Humor) Player Draft Profile - Big E - Under Armor U

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Bpk, Apr 22, 2009.

  1. Bpk

    Bpk Premium Member Luxury Box

    Draft Profile: Big "E"
    6'2" 242lbs
    Under Armor U
    Round - 7th-UDFA


    [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnECY26PSHk"]YouTube - Under Armour Commercial[/ame]

    [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32ZLYQqnhzs"]YouTube - PrOtEcT ThIs HoUsE[/ame]

    Strengths: Team captain. Locker room leader. Unfortunately, has never actually left lockeroom. Gym rat.
    Inspires teammates. Good football build. Has great measurables. Leads team in clapping, bellowing, and sprinting towards teammates to hot guitar riffs.

    Weaknesses: Irrational fear of grass limits actual playing time.
    Convinced there is a conspiracy against him. Believes sweaty lockerroom to be his house.
    Yelling at teammates wears thin, especially on long overnight bus trips.
    Attacks teammates not wearing his favorite undershirt.

    Summary: Intense, passionate and very territortial, the fact Big E has never played an actual game in over four years must be of concern to talent evaluators. Paranoid conspiracy theorist with delusions. If this can be channelled by right coaching staff, Big E will sacrifice body and soul for them. Intense player who never actually plays. 3rd round intangibles with undraftable issues.
     
    dolphan117 and BuckeyeKing like this.
  2. dolphan117

    dolphan117 Premium Member Luxury Box

    7,600
    2,574
    113
    Nov 24, 2007
    Nice.
     

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