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I need help with this issue at work

Discussion in 'Religion and Spirituality' started by SICK, Mar 17, 2010.

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  1. SICK

    SICK Lounge Moderator

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    Ok so i work at a bank, i dont know if you all know....but iam a very confused individual when it comes to my religion. i believe in a higher being, ever since the day i laid eyes on my son, i knew something bigger than me helped create him. BUT

    religion is where i start going crazy. There are a ton of looney religous bible thumpers. Christian/Catholics seem to be the worst (in my personal experience)

    Anyways, iam at work...and this client (who is a nutjob, one of those "are you having a blessed day?") type people....and someone who is a self-proclaimed prophet, who needs to spread the word about jesus because she just got saved....yatta yatta yatta

    she comes to my desk, iam helping her reset the pin for her debit card, and she randomly says "chris do you know where you go when you die?"

    and i said "honestly....i dont think anyone TRULY knows where they go when they die"

    she shook her head (of course, what she believes trumps what i believe) and she says "your wrong. i know where i go. i go to heaven. because i believe in jesus, and he died for my sins. and you can know where YOU go when you die also"

    i just smiled and said your pin is all set....have a great day. not wanting to start a problem.

    Well fast forward to today....she comes into the bank, walks up to my office (in the middle of me talking to a client) and whispers "hey....read this....then you will have all your questions answered......GOD TOLD ME TO GIVE THIS TO YOU" and puts this gigantic bible onto my desk.

    i was mortified. not only because, she has no right to tell me what and how to believe, but also because iam at work, trying to get my client a mortgage....and she barges in, embarrasses me, and with my lack of response, who knows....it could have hurt my relationship with my client if they were religious and just found out i wasnt with my lack of enthusiasm to her offer.

    I turned beat red. I excused myself from the office, walked into my managers office with the bible and told my manager point blank i was completely embarrassed, and i should not have to go through that at my place of work. I wont stand for it, and i bit my tounge this time, but i will NOT again.

    imagine....me walking into a bank in the bible belt of north carolina with a big book on atheism giving it to christians telling them they will believe it if they read it.....i would be chased out of town. Its wrong, and honestly...this job is too important to lose over something like this, and i dont usually get flustered over anything. but religion really gets me hot. especially when iam looked down apon for believing what i believe. and trying to be told what to believe like iam some simple minded person that just needs a direction.

    Sorry this is so long, but i needed to vent. i dont post here often, but i guess i wanted to see what i should do. I know most will say ignore her...but shes a regular and she will never stop until i give her an answer, i refuse to degrade my beliefs just to satisfy her and shut her up. so iam in a bind. i live and work in very very religious territory, but i NEVER have had an issue because most people are normal, and keep to themselves. but everyonce in awhile you have a nut job.....this ladies a nut job.

    and its drives me crazy.
     
  2. Ronnie Bass

    Ronnie Bass Luxury Box Luxury Box

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    Curious on what your manager said to all this? Because if this nutjob does this to you again it will be him/her who needs to handle this, not you.
     
  3. SICK

    SICK Lounge Moderator

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    she said this has never happened before and will have to find out how to handle it. im worried she'll come back in before she figures it all out
     
  4. Ronnie Bass

    Ronnie Bass Luxury Box Luxury Box

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    I know this sucks but if you value your job and your standing with the bank you are going to have to bite your tongue again Sick, sorry man.

    Besides, and take this as someone who knows and I'm sure many corporate old-timers like myself will attest, it's something you will need to learn to do if you want to work in corporate America.

    In the meantime don't let your manager drop the ball on this, make sure she gets an answer from her superiors how she should have this handled.

    But I'm from Jersey so while we do have religious nutjobs they pretty much know their limits up here while in the sunbelt they might feel they have more freedom to spew their crap, so maybe there is another member here who has dealt with this and give you a better answer.
     
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  5. Killerphins

    Killerphins The Finger

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    honestly thank her for the book and go about your day
    take the high road and stick to the client
    marching into the managers office might be a bad move

    or maybe they have read your posts here :shifty:
     
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  6. FinSane

    FinSane Cynical Dolphins Fan

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    tell her youre jewish.
     
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  7. dolphan117

    dolphan117 Premium Member Luxury Box

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    I'm a Christian who does take his faith fairly seriously but its stuff like this that really leaves a bad taste in peoples mouths. Sorry this happened to you man, there is nothing respectful about trying to cram a belief system down someones throat.

    Hopefully she will learn how to go about sharing her faith in a more respectful way quickly, but if she doesnt and this kind of thing keeps happening you may need to ask her into an office with your boss and explain that while you are with other clients its not appropriate for her to bust in and start talking about her faith.

    If you work in an a job that gives you daily contact with the public then there is a certain amount of abuse you have to be prepared to take. For instance women, specifically attractive women have to put up with looks and comments. But it shouldnt go this far.

    Defiantly keep after your boss though about how they want you to handle this.
     
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  8. byroan

    byroan Giggity Staff Member Administrator Luxury Box

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    I know what you mean bro. I have a few customers that act just like yours. One guy spent 15 years in jail and found God in there. Now everyone he sees has to get a 10 minute speech on why god can save them. I had another customer a few years ago ask me "What do you do on Sundays?" My response was I was either working or sitting at home and watching football. Well that was the wrong answer. I then got a long lecture on how I'm a sinner and won't be saved because I don't go to church. Needless to say that guy didn't buy a thing.

    If you believe in God, more power to you. I however haven't found him and don't need anyone to try and force it down my throat. If one day I believe, then I'll do it on my own.
     
  9. Fin D

    Fin D Sigh Club Member

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    The looney zealots aren't the ones to be offended by, after all...they're looney.

    You are faced with a choice, being a company man or being someone who needs to defend their beliefs to someone off their rocker. Will not biting your tongue hurt you at work or will arguing with Nutsy McCrazypants change her perception?

    I've been insulted a 1000 ways to Sunday for being an Atheist, and I always found the crazy ones to be entertaining. You could too with a little practice.:up:

    Besides, the crazy ones usually tend to be lonely people looking for a connection with another person. Be the bigger person and let her talk. You'll end up with your job, a better opportunity to explain to her how when you're at work it isn't appropriate to discuss that sort of thing, and the ability to go to sleep that night knowing you just "out-Christianed a Christian".
     
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  10. Ohiophinphan

    Ohiophinphan Chaplain Staff Member Luxury Box

    I am very much a professing Christian and since I wear a clerical collar much of the time, just about everyone I meet knows it. I often get the opposite of your problem, people in hospitals stop me or interupt while I am talking to a doctor or parishoner and want to engage me on their topic (O how I hate rooms with two or more patients!) Sometimes it is even the staff!

    The advice you have gotten here is sound. If she handed you a manual on fishing it would have been just as wrong to interupt you at work. That is the tact I would stick with. At work there are things you do and things you don't do and one of the don't is long tangental discussions especially with another customer in attendance.

    The woman was wrong and worse wrong headed. It is not just that she she was inappropriate but if her goal was to "convert you" she could not have picked a worse method and thus she didn't even meet her own goal. The only point in her favor was she was trying to do you a good deed, that is her intention was positive, she did not mean you harm. Give her that and move on.

    There are many folks of a variety of religious persuasions on this board from devout Christians to Jews to (at least one bonafide) Pagan. In this forum we often disagree passionately but I would like to think we meet folks where they are and act respectfully. In your public persona, especially at the bank, I would counsel you to follow our lead as it sounds like you have already been doing.

    Best wishes!
     
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  11. padre31

    padre31 Premium Member Luxury Box

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    This, though I'd probably read the thing, but then again I'd read the Watchtower magazines as well.
     
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  12. anlgp

    anlgp ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

    I agree w/Ohio.

    Unfortunately you're at work and keeping your job is your #1 priority. Whatever you do keep that in mind. Are you one of those dudes in the special glass rooms? Like can you close a door? Or was a door closed and she barged in? At any rate..

    You shouldn't be presented with stuff at work from customers except work related stuff. And that should only be when they're the one you're talking to in the first place. The fact that you had a customer going about a mortgage and someone else busted in.. damn man I don't know what I would have done.

    I'm unsure of what I believe, but I like to read up on just about anything. That said if someone came into my work one on one with me (regardless if they were the only customer there) and it wasn't a friend of mine who knew I was into something like that I would be highly insulted.
     
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  13. The Rev

    The Rev Totus Tuus Administrator Luxury Box Club Member

    Chris, listen to the ones who told you to take the high road. As a Christian, I would tell her two things:

    1. Preach the word at all times...use words only when necessary. In other words, talk is cheap. Let your witness be your words.

    2. Thank you very much for your concern over my soul. Have a nice day. :wink2:
     
  14. Ricky Williams

    Ricky Williams New Member

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    It's unfortunate the same people that claim to be "Christians" are the same people that will be the first to judge and condemn everyone else outside of their beliefs. I wonder if they've ever read what Jesus said; "Judge not, and you will not be judged. Condemn not, and you will not be condemned". These people do 10x more damage then they do anything else. And it's these same people that say glory to me vs glory to God for anything positive they actually do. They are not Christians, but mere hypocrites IMO.

    But like someone said above, just take the high road, even tho it's never easy to do. Now what she did while you have a client is completely unacceptable, and I believe that needs to be corrected, just try not to get bent out of shape over it. At my work I have to listen to people drop GD bombs and blame everything bad on the very God they don't believe in, but that's the world we believe in. The extremist go both ways...

    I think your on the path to finding what your looking for regarding your religion, or beliefs.. I'm not a fan of the word religion because the first thing you think of are all these religious loonies and all the so called gods out there. This life is about a relationship with your Creator, and to have love and compassion on your fellow brother. Your son has already provided the revelation that there is something bigger than just us. I can only encourage you to seek it deeper. Ask for revelation or truth on religion and what/who is the Truth. I believe it will come to you. The beauty of man is we have free will and only you can make the decision to seek it. Don't let the people like the woman you dealt with stop you from seeking it. If you seek Him with an open mind and heart my friend, you will find it.
     
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  15. Ohiophinphan

    Ohiophinphan Chaplain Staff Member Luxury Box

    Ricky makes some good points, I have excerpted only a portion of his post, and this is slightly off topic, but I wanted to comment on the quotation I have underlined because it is often misunderstood by both Christians and non-Christians alike. ( btw, I think Ricky used it pretty well in this case)

    It is absolutely correct this is a key teaching of Jesus but it has a balanced teaching on the other side of the issue, that is the need to love one's neighbor and sometimes that means admonishing them for destructive behavior.

    The words "to judge" or "to condemn" are technical, legal phrases. They literally mean the Christian is not to say, "G-d d*** you!" as in asking G-d to send you to h***. We don't get to make that call, only G-d gets to make that call.

    Yet when we see someone engaged in a behavior which we believe will harm them or others, out of loving concern, we are called to advise them to correct or alter that behavior. Clearly that sounds easier in theory than it is in practice. It can cross the line both from the advisor's side and can be miscontrued by someone on the receiving end especially if they don't want to be told what they are doing is "wrong"!

    Haven't we seen friends do something that perhaps has moved from stupid to extraoridarily stupid and thought whether or not we should speak up? I will try to walk the tightrope here out of love for the friend and speak to them more often than not.

    Back to Sick's case

    Since I strive to place everyone's actions in the best possible light, it could be said of Sick's customer that she was trying to "love" him by showing the way to him that which has had so much of a positive influence in her life. It is in that spirit that I counsel that if she continues, you meet her where she is at. What is most likely to back her off (if anything can) is to let her know clearly, that her tactics will not meet her goal, in fact they make her goal less likely to be acheived! If she is told that she is now a stumbling block to Sick's seeking, she should (if she any sense of what she is about) back way off.

    I am sorry if I have nudged this off topic but I didn't want Ricky's comments to just lay there without expansion and explanation from my point of view and my understanding of the Christian message.
     
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  16. Sethdaddy8

    Sethdaddy8 New Member

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    In your career, you're gonna have to swallow a lot of crap. It could've been worse. Just realize, in her warped head, she's trying to help you, which isn't a "bad" thing. I know it could've hurt your relationship with the other client, and sometimes in business, there's no clear cut solution. Just need to be like water and flow with such things.

    Best thing you can say to her next time is, you could get fired for conducting personal matters on the job. Maybe then she'll leave you alone.
     
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  17. SICK

    SICK Lounge Moderator

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    So update. My manager called the client and fed her some BS about it being against bank policy to discuss religion or politics in the bank (the take the heat off my personally) the women said thats insane because "god told her to give chris the bible" and my manager said iam sorry but we just cant do it.

    The client has since came to the bank alot more rarely and hasnt said a word to me about religion. so it worked! It was alot easier than i thought. Thank you everyone who gave advice, i appreciate it a ton!
     
  18. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=- Club Member

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    This
     
  19. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=- Club Member

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    Awesome. The jewish thing would have worked too imo
     
  20. Bpk

    Bpk Premium Member Luxury Box

    Good manager and good for you for asking our advice and taking it. And also to those who gave advice.
     
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  21. Ohiophinphan

    Ohiophinphan Chaplain Staff Member Luxury Box

    This past weekend our first scripture reading was from the Book of Acts where a demon possesed girl with the gift of divination kept following Paul and his colleagues around proclaiming them to be "slaves of the most high God". Normally you would think someone being identified for what they are would be welcome. But in this case we are told Paul got so annoyed that after a couple of days he turned on her and cast out the demon.

    Now I don't ask you who are non-believers to accept the story but in the context of this thread it is interesting that even the Apostle Paul seems to have acted on the presumption there is a time and a place for everything!

    Your manager sounds like good people and the woman is one of those folks that I mention in my prayers when I ask God to save me from the people on my side!

    Glad that is behind you and thanks for asking us for counsel! Happy to oblige!
     
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  22. gafinfan

    gafinfan gunner Club Member

    Its a shame but some ex nonbelievers are like some ex smokers they go all fanatic about their change and try to become preachers yet remain just as narrow minded as before. At least that is my observation of this type person, they may mean well but......... It also seems that the older they are when this takes place the worse it effects them.
     
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  23. Frumundah Finnatic

    Frumundah Finnatic U Mad Miami?

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    Then she would have been more inclined to convert him
     
  24. Big E

    Big E Plus sized porn star

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    Hire Pagan to be your bodyguard.
    You.are.welcome.
     
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  25. m ino

    m ino New Member

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    most of the time when i am asked the question "do you know where you are going when you die?" i give them the morgue,the funeral home and then the cemetary..after that i'm free if they want to hook up and do something as i hear purgatory is nice this time of year.that usually ends all religous questions and attempts of conversion from them.or i say why??you planning on digging me up?that works too especially if others are around.
     
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  26. Pagan

    Pagan Metal & a Mustang

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    :sidelol:
     
  27. MonstBlitz

    MonstBlitz Nobody's Fart Catcher

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    I know your boss already seems to have handled this situation for you, but you'll face folks like this again for sure whether at work or in your personal life. Certain people try to sell religion as if it were a vacuum cleaner. And there's only one way to treat people like this. You have to treat them like a salesman. Example -

    Jehovah's witnesses regularly come to my door. They get the same line the salespeople get. "No thanks, I'm all set with that."
     
  28. Samphin

    Samphin Κακό σκυλί ψόφο δεν έχει

    I DO find it hilarious that the religious ones here are quoting religious passages in order to help SICK with this issue. Oh the ironing.

    SICK, I am a complete and total athiest. I would have accepted the bible, and then the next time she came in, I would have thanked her profusely for the gift. It meant a lot to you and provided a couple of warm meals for oyu and your family since you sold it. When she became mortified, I would have simply said, "What? God TOLD me to sell it. He helps those who help themselves, right?"

    Oh and make sure you do that while off the clock, otherwise you might get ****canned.
     
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  29. Frumundah Finnatic

    Frumundah Finnatic U Mad Miami?

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    :lol:
     
  30. Killerphins

    Killerphins The Finger

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    I often pray to God for the same sort of thing (Dolphin fans)
    My prayers haven't been answered. :up:
     
  31. Ohiophinphan

    Ohiophinphan Chaplain Staff Member Luxury Box

    Insulting a customer would not in my opinion have been helpful. We who are people of faith understand both sides of the dynamic and were trying to be helpful.

    By the way, if you want us to look at irony, you might learn how to spell the word? Just a thought? Or perhaps you thought the woman should also be starched and pressed? :wink2:
     
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  32. Steven-O

    Steven-O F*** the JETS!!

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    I know the feeling. didn't have a situation as crazy as yours but i work at a bank myself. what i noticed after years of this is that the customers are nut jobs!! they always tell you stories you don't care for, give too much information, or give you advice you don't care for or that doesn't even pertain to you. you know never know what you are going to get from these people.
     
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  33. Ohiophinphan

    Ohiophinphan Chaplain Staff Member Luxury Box

    It is not restricted to banking!
     
  34. Samphin

    Samphin Κακό σκυλί ψόφο δεν έχει

    It was spelled that way on purpose...sigh.

    And sorry, if she has the right to express her beliefs, whatever they might be, than I have a right to do the same, customer or not.

    But I tend to subscribe to the George Carlin rule when it comes to religion, politics and life in general, so perhaps my vision sees a different color than others. :up:
     
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  35. Ohiophinphan

    Ohiophinphan Chaplain Staff Member Luxury Box

    You were then appearantly shooting for some kind of humor which utterly escapes me. Sorry
     
  36. Samphin

    Samphin Κακό σκυλί ψόφο δεν έχει

    Oh the ironing is an internet meme from yesteryear. No biggy. :wink2:
     
  37. Ohiophinphan

    Ohiophinphan Chaplain Staff Member Luxury Box

    :lol::lol: I still have no idea what you are talking about! I must be an even older "old guy" than I thought and more out of touch than my youth group tells me I am!!!!! :lol::lol:
     
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  38. Fin D

    Fin D Sigh Club Member

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    Internet meme
    (pronounced /ˈmiːm/, rhyming with "cream"[1]) is used to describe a concept that spreads swiftly via the Internet.

    Like the cat pictures that have baby talk typed out. Or saying pron instead of porn.
     
  39. Dol-Fan Dupree

    Dol-Fan Dupree Tank? Who is Tank? I am Guy Incognito. Club Member

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    First off, you do have the right to express the same, customer or not and your job also has the right to fire you for being a jerk. Since you are an atheist you cannot say it is your religious right to be a jerk.

    Taking the George Carlin rule when it comes to life is like taking the Dane Cook role when it comes to life. However if you want to base your life philosophy on a professional clown, be my guest. I hear Bozo has some good philosophies on pies.
     
  40. Dol-Fan Dupree

    Dol-Fan Dupree Tank? Who is Tank? I am Guy Incognito. Club Member

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    Sick, I am happy the problem is over with, however she gave you a gift. The gift is, she showed you an area you need to work on. Minus being interrupted at work, the problem is not hers, it is yours. She just hit the trigger that set you off your process of mortification, self-righteousness, and embarrassment.

    Freedom is not living in a world where things do not happen to you. Freedom is choosing positive ways to feel and deal when things do.
     

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