the all Dolphins coaching staff (if former players became coaches)
Richie Incognito (really could there be anyone else destined to be a HC? Utilizes the latest techniques in player motivation) Head Coach
John Avery (knows how to get players in space) Offensive coordinator
AJ Feeley (well traveled, lots of experience) QB coach
Eddie Blake (knows the best buffets in town, John Jerry would love him) Oline coach
Cecil Collins (not only on the field but off the field... one word... elusiveness) RB coach
Les Brown (can also assist with salary cap management... as uge) TE coach
Larry Shannon (molds his players to be like Randy Moss) WR coach
Jamar Fletcher (has devoted his life to stopping Drew Brees, showing that he was the better pick) Defensive coordinator
Manuel Wright (a real motivator) dline coach
Eric Kumerow (getting the most out of top grade talent) linebacker coach
Louis Oliver (Playing in the snow is his area of expertise) defensive back coach
Pete Stoyanovich (in the clutch) special teams coach
Jason Trusnick (minimizing stupid penalties one play at a time) quality control
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Jimmy James, Stringer Bell, dolfan32323 and 2 others like this.
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Jonathan Martin cheerleading coach (Note: Head Coach and cheerleading coach must not go to the cafeteria at the same time.)
Paul 13 and Ophinerated like this. -
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I see what you did there.
Shouldn't David Boston be the strength and conditioning coach for his legendary durability?
Wouldn' Dimitrius Underwood be the perfect team sports psychologist?Da 'Fins, dolfan32323, Paul 13 and 2 others like this. -
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Maybe not coaches per se, but organizational positions to be filled.
Greg Camarillo: VP of Under-appreciated, Undrafted Free Agent Development
Karlos Dansby: VP of Over-paid, Under-appreciative Player Development
Channing Crowder: VP of Pissing Your Pants on Gameday Operations
Vontae Davis: VP of Community Grandmamma Outreach
Sean Smith: VP of Getting Your Hair Did, Girl
Jason Allen: VP of Field-turf Traction
Chad Henne: VP of 5-yard Bullet-passes
Yeremiah Bell: VP of Gettin' All Swole
Phillip Wheeler: VP of Getting Run Over or 3rd Down Penalty Conversion Operations (premature but w/e)
Ted Ginn Jr: VP of Community Family Out-reach, Assistant Executive Officer of Out of Bounds Operations
Brandon Marshall: Senior VP of Out of Bounds Operationsdolfan32323, Paul 13, Ophinerated and 2 others like this. -
Average? That's a laugh.
As a Dolphin...
Booker
194 catches
2627 yards
11 touchdowns
That's just catching the ball, not what he did as a passer
Boston
4 catches
80 yards
0 touchdowns
QED -
Nice comparison. :up: -
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Jason Taylor VP of pigment moisturizing.
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Ricky Williams: Quality Urine Sampling Control Manager
Boik14, Paul 13, P h i N s A N i T y and 3 others like this. -
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Jay Fiedler: Special analyst for down-field throwing
Brian Griese: Manager for exceeding generational expectations
Ray Lucas: Tee boyPaul 13 likes this. -
Bob Griese: Assistant Director of Being Drunk in the Broadcast Booth.
Nat Moore: Director of Being Drunk in the Broadcast Booth, Director of Helicopters.
Vernon Carey: VP of Big-*** Scary Frog Stories, Assistant Representative of How Not to Look When Reporting to Camp
John Jerry: Head Representative of How Not to Look When Reporting to Camp (premature)
Derek Hagan: Director of Looking Like a Sure-fire Playmaker
Daunte Culpepper: Head Representative on Injury Prognostications
Matt Moore: VP of Holy **** I'm Still on Their Payroll Operations (premature)
Jason Allen: Senior VP of Drafted in the 1st Round OMGLOL
AJ Feely: Senior VP of Don't Ever Sign Philadelphia-system QBsPaul 13, Fin-Omenal and Ophinerated like this. -
Gibril Wilson: Senior VP of Busted Coverage Operations
Paul 13, Fin-Omenal and Ophinerated like this. -
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Heath Evans: Senior Executive VP of Talking **** About The Franchise, President of Knob-gargling Bill Belichick Operations
Paul 13 and Ophinerated like this. -
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Jonathan Martin: VP of Feelings, Assistant VP of Sucking at Football Operations
Richie Incognito: VP of ****ting In Your Mouth Operations
Chad Johnson: Senior VP of ***** Please Shut the **** Up About the Condoms Already OperationsPaul 13 and Fin-Omenal like this. -
John Beck: Director of Good-guy Character Development, Senior VP of of Fumbling the Snap Operations
David Martin: Senior VP of Hands
Reagan Mauia: Senior VP of Juggernaut ActivitiesPaul 13 likes this. -
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Nick Saban: Director of honesty and public relations
Zach Thomas: Operator of head protection for toddlers.
Pat Surtain: Head of domestic disturbance prevention
Brent Grimes: Head of domestic disturbance prevention
Bryan Cox: Lead sign language interpretation expertAquafin, Hobiesailor, Ophinerated and 2 others like this. -
lmesiter... Vice President, Creativity and Marketing
Richie Incognito... President of Family Relations / Death BenefitsFin-Omenal, Ophinerated and MikeHoncho like this. -
First official action: Boobies.
Wait, I'm not a former dolphins player.
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The lack of Brandon Marshall is disappointing.
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5 yard bullet passes, bahahahahaha
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I know...
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Eddie Moore: Captain of the kicking *** in bar fights unit
Tony Bua: Director of long highlight reels (looped endlessly edition)
J.J. Johnson: Head of j-j-j-just give me the damn ball operations
Abdul-Karim al-Jabbar: President of the name uniqueness committeeMikeHoncho likes this. -
Jamar Fletcher. Head of burnt toast operations.
Daunte Culpepper. Head trainer in respect to knee recovery.Fin-Omenal likes this. -
add Eddie Moore director of getting his *** beaten by a non athlete at IHOP .
add JASON TAYLOR = director of being twinkle toes in the dancing competition.
add Lamar Thomas genius at large as the offensive coordinator .
add Randy McMichael as head coach because he has a face of innocents and is a vocal leader. -
Karim Abdul Jabar: VP Wrong Dude Services
Sent from my Transformer TF101 using Tapatalk 4Rocky Raccoon and Fin-Omenal like this. -
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Dan Marino: Head of "50k make baby go away" program
Daryl Gardener: Director of Anti Bullying group
James McKnight: President of ball bouncing off chest and hands in key moments
Brock Marion: assistant how the f#ck was I effective returning kicks manager
Davone Bess: CEO of footingMikeHoncho likes this.