FinD didn't kill himself after the past 5 months. We tried, but the bastard keeps going.
We elected Trump.
Nope, he got up the next at his normal time, 2 pm, threw his hair in a bun and then hit the Starbucks for free wifi so he could finish watching the full house remake on netflix and update his tumblr page.
We sent the Patriots to the superbowl, only to be down 28-3 with 3 minutes left in the third quarter only to win the game.
Nope. He took the prius on a road trip to the coast, sifted sand at the beach so he could save a few sand fleas and add them to his sand flea farm in Ocala.
So we kidnapped his special needs Turkey and gave it a great home elsewhere.
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/...an-ever-at-age-39-heres-how-tom-brady-does-it For most of the year, Brady is a vegan. In the cold winter months, he adds some lean meat to his diet. A typical day's menu this time of year might include a breakfast smoothie—made with almond milk, a scoop of protein, seeds, nuts and a banana—a midmorning homemade protein bar, sliced up chicken breast on a salad with whole grains and legumes for lunch, a second smoothie as a snack and a dinner of quinoa with greens.
Uh-oh. Me and Brady are both vegans. That means of the three guys you jerk off too, the only one not vegan, is Putin.