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In need of prayers and thoughts

Discussion in 'Religion and Spirituality' started by Ducken, Nov 24, 2009.

  1. Ducken

    Ducken Luxury Box Luxury Box

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    I am sorry for taking a little while to come to whole family, I had posted about this in the Lux. section after it happened. But this past Thursday my wife left me for someone else. We have been married for 9 years this Dec. 16th. I had no warning, no "hey something is wrong", no "hey bud you a screwing up". I was just blindsided and it has been through the grace of God that I have been so calm about this. I have laid it at his feet and as I look down there is only one set of foot prints in the sand. And they aint mine.

    My little girl is with me and she has been so strong and brave. She will be with her Mom over Thanksgiving as I have to work Thur - Sun. This will be the 1st holiday I have ever had to spend without family and to be honest I am scared to be alone. (Not for fear I will hurt myself just being alone)

    In the Lux section I asked for some funny little stories or jokes to help make me smile, and I would appreciate that if you guys could help me smile.
     
  2. opfinistic

    opfinistic Braaaaains!

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    Sorry you took one to the chin like that bro. You'll have our support here. When I got divorced from wife #1 I took my ***** and we went out hunting nightly. I had almost forgotten how much I liked *****, but Opie Jr quickly reminded me how good it was. About a month after I walked out the door the soon to be ex contacted me, saying she was moving from the apartment we had shared, she told me to come pick up my desk, computer and whatever else I wanted or she would leave it there. I told her I would come by in an hour.

    She informed me that she had 'someone' over and she didn't want any trouble. I told her 'great, I could probably use a hand loading up the desk.'

    I showed up, and this dude answered the door, I introduced myself and shook his hand with a wry smile, this poor ****er had no idea what a ***** she would become at that point. :chuckle: He helped me load up the desk into my truck and I asked if he wouldn't mind coming with me to unload it, I told him I'd buy him a beer for his trouble. He looked to the ex for permission, and her expression was priceless, she couldn't figure out if I was seething with jealousy and planning something evil, or if I genuinely didn't care about her anymore, but either way she was perplexed.

    He helped me out and we went out for a beer afterward, that turned into quite a few beers and he ended up going home two hours later than he had planned to. She was waiting out front, pissed off beyond belief when I dropped him off, I told him 'good luck' and drove off, smiling that I wouldn't be the one getting the tongue lashing that afternoon. :chuckle:

    I should have warned him.
     
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  3. Ohiophinphan

    Ohiophinphan Chaplain Staff Member Luxury Box

    I don't have any better a story than the one I posted in Lux but please know you remain in my prayers!
     
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  4. anlgp

    anlgp ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

    ahahahaha!

    Yeah I was gonna try and post a funny story.. but it's hard to top that one to me that has everything you'd want after a situation like that.

    As far as being alone.. I haven't ever been in a relationship (or marriage) that has lasted that long, but I found that once I was single the time alone was needed to kinda pull back and re-evaluate my goals, dreams, etc. Just keep busy and know that you've still got a family :up: both at home and here.

    You know where to reach me.
     
  5. dolphindebby

    dolphindebby Season Ticket Holder Luxury Box

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    I'm so sorry to hear this ducken.
    My thoughts and prayers are with you, as always.
    Take care of yourself and know we're all here for you.
     
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  6. Ducken

    Ducken Luxury Box Luxury Box

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    Question for the guys who have been though something similar and the girls. How can you love someone for 7 years or so then all of a sudden decide this is not what you want, then spend the next 3 years miserable and not say a word?
    From what I have been able to put together this is what has happened with Joy. She says it was nothing I did or did not do, not the sex, not anything. It leaves me so confused, when all I know is that this was/is the girl that was my best friend and there was no other woman that could even start to hold a candle to her. Now there is no emotion when we talk, when I beg, when I cry. I just do not understand.
     
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  7. Ohiophinphan

    Ohiophinphan Chaplain Staff Member Luxury Box

    I do not know how she did it but she did. Depression is anger at oneself and for whatever reason she has decided she will be better off "with a change". It is not true but she doesn't know that nor could she be convinced of it.

    She wants away from the pain and instead of dealing with her own issues, she will take what has become the easy way out and simply try and run away from the trouble.

    It is wrong, it is self destructive, and you can not stop her. I wish there was a better answer but.....................
     
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  8. Thunderbolt89

    Thunderbolt89 Well-Known Member

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    I am very sorry to hear that.Please stay strong and one lesson I learned in life I would like to share is to know that you are never alone,there is always support and people to stand by your side. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
     
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  9. Ducken

    Ducken Luxury Box Luxury Box

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    Well it seems this has been my soon to be ex-wifes MO. I found out today that even though she said that her ex husband cheated on her and that they were separated when we 1st started dating that was a lie. They were still together and it was she who was the one that cheated 3 times on him or so. From what was told to me it made things a lot more clear, some of the inconsistent stories told to me by her when we started dating that I just blew off.

    At this moment I feel so free, I know it was nothing I did and that this is just they way she is. I am so ready now to get my life started again and can not wait to see what the next chapter has in store for me. I am going to give the dating thing some time. I want to make sure my little girl is ok and will be ok with dad dating, or as ok as can be expected. And I need to give myself some time to get back in touch with me and to make sure there is no rebound affect. That would not be fair to the other girl, my little girl or myself.

    I just want to thank you guys for being here for me!! You guys are the best:up:
     
  10. Ohiophinphan

    Ohiophinphan Chaplain Staff Member Luxury Box

    It is strange that news so lousy could also be that freeing!? Continued prayers and good wishes go with you my friend!
     
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  11. dolphindebby

    dolphindebby Season Ticket Holder Luxury Box

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    Keep hanging in there, it'll be alright.:up:
    Just love that little girl, always talk to her and you and she will be fine.
    My thoughts and prayers will be with you, my friend.
     
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  12. Ducken

    Ducken Luxury Box Luxury Box

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    Yes it is, but IMO that is just one more way God is working in my life.
     
  13. Ducken

    Ducken Luxury Box Luxury Box

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    Also I really hope God uses me to help someone else out that is going through a similar rough time. And I pray that through Him guiding my words and my testimony I can be a positive influence and help.
     
  14. gafinfan

    gafinfan gunner Club Member

    I'm sorry I've come to this post late and yet am glad you are leaving it in God's hands. He will not let you down.

    As to dating again I guess we all have different ideas but as a single Dad raising a son I didn't date alot and now think it might have been the wrong thing to do. My son was not exposed to the female gender except during the summers with his mom and they didn't happen every year. Looking back on it and talking to my son, as an adult about it, he tells me that he might have gotten a better idea about women in general had he been around them more at that age.

    At least his mom has finally come around (30 years to late IMHO) and their relationship is much better now.

    Don't know if that helps you or not but with hinesight I might have done differently or maybe what happened was God's plan all along. Take care and God bless.
     
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  15. Ducken

    Ducken Luxury Box Luxury Box

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    Just a little update on things.

    I have started to move on and realize just how much my .....ex-wife lied to me. And IMO that was worse then the cheating. To me your word is your character and if you can't keep your word or lie like that then you don't have much character. I have talked with my little girl about me dating and she said she was ok with it. "if mommy can do it you can to. And you need to be happy" She is such a special little girl. I have been as honest about things as could be with her, and I think she is seeing it. She has gotten mad with her mom a few times because her mom was not being honest about things.

    I have a good friend thats a nurse at one of the local hospitals and she is looking for a nice nurse for me to meet. I figure if she passes her testg then she should be a good one. But we will see, I am in no rush.


    Once again thanks guys!
     
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  16. Ohiophinphan

    Ohiophinphan Chaplain Staff Member Luxury Box

    Getting someone "prescreened" by a friend is a very good idea.

    Kids are far more honest and perceptive than we often think. Sounds like you have a gem!

    Best wishes
     
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  17. Ducken

    Ducken Luxury Box Luxury Box

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    I do. She is such an awesome little girl, I am so very proud of her.
     
  18. dolphindebby

    dolphindebby Season Ticket Holder Luxury Box

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    Best of luck in what ever you do Jay.
    Your child is precious. You've got you a good one!!
     
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