CLICK HERE FOR THE FULL BRACKET CLICK BELOW TO VOTE IN THE OTHER 3 REGIONS CHUCKLE REGION CACKLE REGION GIGGLE REGION STAND UP COMICS George Carlin “If God had intended us not to masturbate he would've made our arms shorter” VS. Denis Leary Stevie Ray Vaughan is dead, and we can't get Jon Bon Jovi onto a ****ing helicopter! http://youtube.com/watch?v=oAVoQfoU0dQ George Carlin clip http://youtube.com/watch?v=2Rlqjxst6xU&feature=related ------------------------- Lewis Black Lactose intolerant milk? Kiss my dick! If you're lactose intolerant you can't drink milk. So what's in the ****ing carton? Get it out of there, get it away from my milk. It is talking to my milk and making it feel bad about itself VS. Louis CK Sex for women it's spiritual, they get into it, they shiver, then they lie on their side and cry. But for us it's just something we need to do so we won't murder people. http://youtube.com/watch?v=yPvVnrV1tow Lewis Black clip http://youtube.com/watch?v=4mCDZMWVWuc ------------------------- Jeffrey Ross What can you really say about Carson Daly that hasn't already been said about that ******ed boy that won the lottery? VS. Zach Galifianakis I don't mean to be gross, but the only time it's ok to say, 'I have diarrhea,' is when you're playing Scrabble....... because it's worth a ****load of points. http://youtube.com/watch?v=oOQboHV3-PI&feature=related Jeffrey Ross clip http://youtube.com/watch?v=OAV898pqmIE ------------------------- Steven Wright A while ago, I left my apartment building and walked my dog... on the ledge. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths. VS. Patton Oswalt If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins. http://youtube.com/watch?v=_-oxsMl3iCA Steven Wright clip http://youtube.com/watch?v=qPWGfnJ9X7c[/B]
Standup Comics - Gone too soon STANDUP COMICS GONE TOO SOON DIVISION Andy Kaufman TONY CLIFTON: So... ya wanna see Andy? Anybody gotta flashlight and a couple of shovels? VS. Mitch Hedberg I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2491LucLa1g Andy Kaufman clip http://youtube.com/watch?v=ALZz3vlIZiU --------------------------- Sam Kinison YOU ****ING WHORE!!! You used me! You never loved me! I hope you slide under a gas truck and taste your own blood! DIE! DIE! DIE! I want my records back! I want my ****ing records back! VS. Bill Hicks By the way, if anyone here is in advertising or marketing, kill yourself. http://youtube.com/watch?v=gDW_Hj2K0wo Sam Kinison clip http://youtube.com/watch?v=K1GjyrQiSRs
Standup Comics - Here too long? STANDUP COMICS - HERE TOO LONG? DIVISION Dane Cook I do all the little tricklets. Everybody does little tricks. I do the little I bite your lip and I suck your lip; and here's my signature move, here's my thing right here, I flick you in the eye, that's me. VS. Gallagher If pro is the opposite of con doesn't that make congress the oppposite of progress? http://youtube.com/watch?v=oI8QxKTw59Q Dane Cook clip http://youtube.com/watch?v=QQIzRCHW5sE ----------------------------- Andrew Dice Clay Old Mother Goose…I ****ed her. VS. Carlos Mencia If you don't believe that God has a sense of humor, tomorrow go to Walmart and just LOOK AT PEOPLE! http://youtube.com/watch?v=Jn5k0RH9lBk Dice clip http://youtube.com/watch?v=BWzI_Wn0ZwM
Standup Comics - Old School STANDUP COMICS - OLD SCHOOL DIVISION Rodney Dangerfield A girl called me the other day and said "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home. VS. Milton Berle I'm 83, and I feel like a 20-year-old, but unfortunately there's never one around. http://youtube.com/watch?v=PGfx3QAV64M&feature=related Dangerfield clip http://youtube.com/watch?v=VwZAIO7q9v8&feature=related ------------------------------ Don Rickles "There's Dom DeLuise there, sucking on the ice...trying to get another drink. Let me tell you quite frankly Dom, you have a bad body." VS. George Burns "For thirty years my act consisted of one joke. And then she died." http://youtube.com/watch?v=xQanq1OIMSk Don Rickles clip http://youtube.com/watch?v=PH23UjMG5wQ ------------------------------ Buddy Hackett I'm diabetic, but to test myself, I just pee in the yard and watch the bees. VS. Bob Hope I thought Deep Throat was a movie about a giraffe. http://youtube.com/watch?v=ADwXu1qtpak&feature=related Buddy Hackett clip http://youtube.com/watch?v=XszHqxPTUJM ------------------------------ Dean Martin Last night, a girl kept banging on my door for forty minutes... but I won't let her out! VS. Lenny Bruce You can't put **** and *** on the marquee!...Why not?...Because it's dirty and vulgar, that's why not!... Titties are dirty and vulgar?...Okay, we'll compromise. How about Latin? Gluteus maximus, pectoralis majors nightly...That's alright, that's clean, class with ***, I'll buy it...Clean to you, schmuck, but dirty to the Latins! http://youtube.com/watch?v=ndAEDo-v9Io&feature=related Dean Martin clip http://youtube.com/watch?v=xXOpJ86o-_k
The Hosts THE HOSTS DIVISION Johnny Carson I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing. VS. Jay Leno How many watched the President's speech last night? [half-hearted audience applause] How many watched American Idol? [thundering applause] Okay, there you go! You get the government you deserve. http://youtube.com/watch?v=b7CC9ZRcoCY Johnny Carson clip http://youtube.com/watch?v=EY3Lw_-bj5U ----------------------------- Conan O'Brien This year there will be more cutting edge political wit and satire, and less random arbitrary humour that doesn't make sense. Isn't that right, Fidel Castro Rabbit DJ? VS. Craig Ferguson In a Scottish opera, it ain't over 'till the fat lady *****-slaps you. http://youtube.com/watch?v=zUpJxVdMR1o Conan O'Brien clip http://www.hulu.com/watch/6322/late-night-with-conan-obrien-nbc-tour-part-1 ----------------------------- Stephen Colbert The greatest thing about George Bush is he's steady. You know where he stands. He believes the same thing Wednesday that he believed on Monday - no matter what happened Tuesday. VS. Jon Stewart Because the seating for the Pope's funeral went in alphabetical order, the leaders of the country sat in order - Iran, Ireland, Israel. Three countries and four religions that hate each other. http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=125035&title=war-money Stephen Colbert clip http://www.hulu.com/watch/22547/the-colbert-report-tickling-the-rocks-610 ----------------------------- David Letterman There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting. VS. Howard Stern Janet Jackson's breast has gotten me into a whole bunch of trouble. http://youtube.com/watch?v=O1X5cQ1ymnQ
Letterman over Stern is a bit surprising. Not that Letterman isn't very funny. I just think Stern is amazing.
I know dane cook is what people would call a sell out comic.....or whatever.....he just yells and all that.... but jesus god people.....hes F'in funnier than gallager!!!!!!! he smashes fruit.......the whole time lmao
wow some of these are tough... and i agree with sickfinfan, i dont think Cook is the funniest guy, but the fact that Gallagher is tied with him now is surprising
Gallagher has made me laugh at least one time, which is more than I can say for Dane Cook, the most overrated comedian I can remember.
Killer matchups here. I'm pleased at the way things are going with the exception of Conan over Craig.
People should vote how they see fit. But I voted on who I thought was the least overrated. No one would have a single problem with Dane Cook if he wasn't so disproportionately popular to his talent. That is why I voted for Gallagher and Carlos Mencia. I enjoyed some of Gallagher's early specials from the 80's, he actually spent most of the show telling jokes before the final act of smashing watermelon's. And I also enjoyed Carlos Mencia when I first heard his act 10 years ago. The problem is that he is still doing the same act. But at least it was funny when I first heard it, unlike Dice.
WOW..you put George Carlin up vs. Denis Leary? Are you trying to piss me off? I am tempted to leave that one blank. But I will vote George..but I am not happy about being put to that decision in ROUND 1.
That's how I feel about a lot of match ups. I think in a round our two there are going to be some run aways, but this is really good stuff His'n
With the first round eliminating half the total entries, I always find the first round of these tourney's rather dull if the heavyweights are all pitted up against sacrificial lambs. Comedy is just way too subjective for me to fairly seed 128 contestants. My brain was just big enough to arrange it by best of certain groups. But I do have a plan to re-enter one strong contestant before round 3. There is no way Dane Cook, Gallagher, Dice Clay, or Carlos Mencia deserve to last longer than the 96 funnier contestants who will be gone by then. Cosby will definitely have a chance for revenge.
I can't stand Dane Cook or Mencia...the fact that one may move on instead of Galifianakis makes me nauseous
Wow...really? I must have been under a rock somewhere there Cap'n Obvious! What I meant is that HE is not a comedian himself. Any fan of the show knows Jackie and Artie wrote all his jokes. I'm an Opie & Anthony fan, but I wouldn't tell you that Opie is a comedian because he runs the show.
What a prick. Since I'm being captain obvious I'll also point out that this isn't the "Best Comedian" Tourney, it is the "Just Damn Funny" Tourney. And Howard Stern is just damn funny. Opie is funny, and so is Howard Stern. Comedy isn't purely about writing, performance and delivery are just as important.
Why thank you! Best compliment I've heard all day! Well that's a matter of opinion. Doesn't matter anyway...Dave's spanking him. Aw c'mon bro...Opie blows. He's pretty much just there to keep the show running smoothly. Anthony and Norton bring the funny every day.
Show would have been canceled years ago if it wasn't for Norton. I think the guy is hilarious on that show. He would have made the list if his last HBO special didn't blow.
Really? I was so disappointed. I love the guy, don't get me wrong. I met him while he was shooting a commercial near Penn Station, and he was a genuinely cool guy, very friendly, very appreciative of fans just wanting to shake his hand or take his picture. I think he is the best part of O&A. I root for him to succeed. But "Monster Rain" was not nearly as funny as what he does on O&A. His 30 minute special was much better too.
Wow Rodney Dangerfield is annihilating Berle, hes a strong threat to go all the way I think. Caddyshack was awesome, some great stuff by both Rodney and Bill Murray. And Chevy Chase as well now that I think about it lol.