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Just Damn Funny - Round 1 - Guffaw Region

Discussion in 'Contest Forum' started by His'nBeatYour'n, Jun 18, 2008.

Who is just damn Funny?

Poll closed Jun 21, 2008.
  1. George Carlin

    73.0%
  2. VS. Denis Leary

    27.0%
  3. Lewis Black

    70.3%
  4. VS. Louis CK

    18.9%
  5. Jeffrey Ross

    59.5%
  6. VS. Zach Galifianakis

    29.7%
  7. Steven Wright

    51.4%
  8. VS. Patton Oswalt

    40.5%
  9. Andy Kaufman

    37.8%
  10. VS. Mitch Hedberg

    56.8%
  11. Sam Kinison

    75.7%
  12. VS. Bill Hicks

    16.2%
  13. Dane Cook

    54.1%
  14. VS. Gallagher

    40.5%
  15. Andrew Dice Clay

    67.6%
  16. VS. Carlos Mencia

    27.0%
  17. Rodney Dangerfield

    94.6%
  18. VS. Milton Berle

    5.4%
  19. Don Rickles

    51.4%
  20. VS. George Burns

    43.2%
  21. Buddy Hackett

    29.7%
  22. VS. Bob Hope

    62.2%
  23. Dean Martin

    62.2%
  24. VS. Lenny Bruce

    35.1%
  25. Johnny Carson

    75.7%
  26. VS. Jay Leno

    21.6%
  27. Conan O'Brien

    67.6%
  28. VS. Craig Ferguson

    27.0%
  29. Stephen Colbert

    56.8%
  30. VS. Jon Stewart

    37.8%
  31. David Letterman

    70.3%
  32. VS. Howard Stern

    27.0%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. His'nBeatYour'n

    His'nBeatYour'n Glass Ceiling Repairman

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    CLICK HERE FOR THE FULL BRACKET

    CLICK BELOW TO VOTE IN THE OTHER 3 REGIONS
    CHUCKLE REGION
    CACKLE REGION
    GIGGLE REGION

    STAND UP COMICS

    George Carlin
    [​IMG]
    “If God had intended us not to masturbate he would've made our arms shorter”

    VS.

    Denis Leary
    [​IMG]
    Stevie Ray Vaughan is dead, and we can't get Jon Bon Jovi onto a ****ing helicopter! http://youtube.com/watch?v=oAVoQfoU0dQ

    George Carlin clip
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=2Rlqjxst6xU&feature=related

    -------------------------

    Lewis Black
    [​IMG]
    Lactose intolerant milk? Kiss my dick! If you're lactose intolerant you can't drink milk. So what's in the ****ing carton? Get it out of there, get it away from my milk. It is talking to my milk and making it feel bad about itself

    VS.

    Louis CK
    [​IMG]
    Sex for women it's spiritual, they get into it, they shiver, then they lie on their side and cry. But for us it's just something we need to do so we won't murder people. http://youtube.com/watch?v=yPvVnrV1tow

    Lewis Black clip
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=4mCDZMWVWuc

    -------------------------

    Jeffrey Ross
    [​IMG]
    What can you really say about Carson Daly that hasn't already been said about that ******ed boy that won the lottery?

    VS.

    Zach Galifianakis
    [​IMG]
    I don't mean to be gross, but the only time it's ok to say, 'I have diarrhea,' is when you're playing Scrabble....... because it's worth a ****load of points. http://youtube.com/watch?v=oOQboHV3-PI&feature=related

    Jeffrey Ross clip
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=OAV898pqmIE

    -------------------------

    Steven Wright
    [​IMG]
    A while ago, I left my apartment building and walked my dog... on the ledge. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

    VS.

    Patton Oswalt
    [​IMG]
    If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins. http://youtube.com/watch?v=_-oxsMl3iCA

    Steven Wright clip
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=qPWGfnJ9X7c[/B]
     
    Last edited: Jun 22, 2008
  2. His'nBeatYour'n

    His'nBeatYour'n Glass Ceiling Repairman

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    Standup Comics - Gone too soon

    STANDUP COMICS GONE TOO SOON DIVISION

    Andy Kaufman
    [​IMG]
    TONY CLIFTON: So... ya wanna see Andy? Anybody gotta flashlight and a couple of shovels?

    VS.

    Mitch Hedberg
    [​IMG]
    I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2491LucLa1g

    Andy Kaufman clip
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=ALZz3vlIZiU
    ---------------------------

    Sam Kinison
    [​IMG]
    YOU ****ING WHORE!!! You used me! You never loved me! I hope you slide under a gas truck and taste your own blood! DIE! DIE! DIE! I want my records back! I want my ****ing records back!

    VS.

    Bill Hicks
    [​IMG]
    By the way, if anyone here is in advertising or marketing, kill yourself. http://youtube.com/watch?v=gDW_Hj2K0wo

    Sam Kinison clip
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=K1GjyrQiSRs
     
    Last edited: Jun 22, 2008
  3. His'nBeatYour'n

    His'nBeatYour'n Glass Ceiling Repairman

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    Standup Comics - Here too long?

    STANDUP COMICS - HERE TOO LONG? DIVISION

    Dane Cook

    [​IMG]
    I do all the little tricklets. Everybody does little tricks. I do the little I bite your lip and I suck your lip; and here's my signature move, here's my thing right here, I flick you in the eye, that's me.

    VS.

    Gallagher
    [​IMG]
    If pro is the opposite of con doesn't that make congress the oppposite of progress? http://youtube.com/watch?v=oI8QxKTw59Q

    Dane Cook clip
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=QQIzRCHW5sE

    -----------------------------

    Andrew Dice Clay
    [​IMG]
    Old Mother Goose…I ****ed her.

    VS.

    Carlos Mencia
    [​IMG]
    If you don't believe that God has a sense of humor, tomorrow go to Walmart and just LOOK AT PEOPLE! http://youtube.com/watch?v=Jn5k0RH9lBk

    Dice clip
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=BWzI_Wn0ZwM
     
    Last edited: Jun 22, 2008
  4. His'nBeatYour'n

    His'nBeatYour'n Glass Ceiling Repairman

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    Standup Comics - Old School

    STANDUP COMICS - OLD SCHOOL DIVISION

    Rodney Dangerfield
    [​IMG]
    A girl called me the other day and said "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.

    VS.

    Milton Berle
    [​IMG]
    I'm 83, and I feel like a 20-year-old, but unfortunately there's never one around. http://youtube.com/watch?v=PGfx3QAV64M&feature=related

    Dangerfield clip
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=VwZAIO7q9v8&feature=related

    ------------------------------

    Don Rickles
    [​IMG]
    "There's Dom DeLuise there, sucking on the ice...trying to get another drink. Let me tell you quite frankly Dom, you have a bad body."

    VS.

    George Burns
    [​IMG]
    "For thirty years my act consisted of one joke. And then she died." http://youtube.com/watch?v=xQanq1OIMSk

    Don Rickles clip
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=PH23UjMG5wQ
    ------------------------------

    Buddy Hackett

    [​IMG]
    I'm diabetic, but to test myself, I just pee in the yard and watch the bees.

    VS.

    Bob Hope
    [​IMG]
    I thought Deep Throat was a movie about a giraffe.
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=ADwXu1qtpak&feature=related

    Buddy Hackett clip
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=XszHqxPTUJM

    ------------------------------

    Dean Martin
    [​IMG]
    Last night, a girl kept banging on my door for forty minutes... but I won't let her out!

    VS.

    Lenny Bruce
    [​IMG]
    You can't put **** and *** on the marquee!...Why not?...Because it's dirty and vulgar, that's why not!... Titties are dirty and vulgar?...Okay, we'll compromise. How about Latin? Gluteus maximus, pectoralis majors nightly...That's alright, that's clean, class with ***, I'll buy it...Clean to you, schmuck, but dirty to the Latins! http://youtube.com/watch?v=ndAEDo-v9Io&feature=related

    Dean Martin clip
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=xXOpJ86o-_k
     
    Last edited: Jun 22, 2008
  5. His'nBeatYour'n

    His'nBeatYour'n Glass Ceiling Repairman

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    The Hosts

    THE HOSTS DIVISION

    Johnny Carson
    [​IMG]
    I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.

    VS.

    Jay Leno
    [​IMG]
    How many watched the President's speech last night? [half-hearted audience applause] How many watched American Idol? [thundering applause] Okay, there you go! You get the government you deserve. http://youtube.com/watch?v=b7CC9ZRcoCY

    Johnny Carson clip
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=EY3Lw_-bj5U

    -----------------------------

    Conan O'Brien
    [​IMG]
    This year there will be more cutting edge political wit and satire, and less random arbitrary humour that doesn't make sense. Isn't that right, Fidel Castro Rabbit DJ?

    VS.

    Craig Ferguson
    [​IMG]
    In a Scottish opera, it ain't over 'till the fat lady *****-slaps you. http://youtube.com/watch?v=zUpJxVdMR1o

    Conan O'Brien clip
    http://www.hulu.com/watch/6322/late-night-with-conan-obrien-nbc-tour-part-1

    -----------------------------

    Stephen Colbert
    [​IMG]
    The greatest thing about George Bush is he's steady. You know where he stands. He believes the same thing Wednesday that he believed on Monday - no matter what happened Tuesday.

    VS.

    Jon Stewart
    [​IMG]
    Because the seating for the Pope's funeral went in alphabetical order, the leaders of the country sat in order - Iran, Ireland, Israel. Three countries and four religions that hate each other.

    http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=125035&title=war-money

    Stephen Colbert clip
    http://www.hulu.com/watch/22547/the-colbert-report-tickling-the-rocks-610

    -----------------------------

    David Letterman
    [​IMG]
    There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.

    VS.

    Howard Stern
    [​IMG]
    Janet Jackson's breast has gotten me into a whole bunch of trouble. http://youtube.com/watch?v=O1X5cQ1ymnQ
     
    Last edited: Jun 22, 2008
  6. Colorado Dolfan

    Colorado Dolfan ...dirty drownin' man?

    Damn... Some of these decisions are just brutal... :tantrum:
     
  7. texanphinatic

    texanphinatic Senior Member

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    Conan vs. Craig, harsh, tough call there.
     
  8. ILPhinFan88

    ILPhinFan88 Premium Member Luxury Box

    George Carlin all the way. He is great and I have a personal reason that is even better. :up:
     
  9. DevilFin13

    DevilFin13 Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    Letterman over Stern is a bit surprising. Not that Letterman isn't very funny. I just think Stern is amazing.
     
  10. DonShula84

    DonShula84 Moderator Luxury Box

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    Colbert > Stewart!
     
  11. SICK

    SICK Lounge Moderator

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    I know dane cook is what people would call a sell out comic.....or whatever.....he just yells and all that....

    but jesus god people.....hes F'in funnier than gallager!!!!!!! he smashes fruit.......the whole time lmao
     
    Colorado Dolfan likes this.
  12. arsenal

    arsenal Sunglasses and advil

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    wow some of these are tough... and i agree with sickfinfan, i dont think Cook is the funniest guy, but the fact that Gallagher is tied with him now is surprising
     
  13. arsenal

    arsenal Sunglasses and advil

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    kaufman vs hedberg aint right this early either...
     
  14. finswin56

    finswin56 Get a mop

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    Gallagher has made me laugh at least one time, which is more than I can say for Dane Cook, the most overrated comedian I can remember.
     
  15. DrAstroZoom

    DrAstroZoom Canary in a Coal Mine Luxury Box

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    Killer matchups here. I'm pleased at the way things are going with the exception of Conan over Craig.
     
  16. DonShula84

    DonShula84 Moderator Luxury Box

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    I agree gallagher isnt funny, but Dane Cook is such a douche bag I couldnt vote for him.
     
  17. His'nBeatYour'n

    His'nBeatYour'n Glass Ceiling Repairman

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    People should vote how they see fit. But I voted on who I thought was the least overrated. No one would have a single problem with Dane Cook if he wasn't so disproportionately popular to his talent. That is why I voted for Gallagher and Carlos Mencia. I enjoyed some of Gallagher's early specials from the 80's, he actually spent most of the show telling jokes before the final act of smashing watermelon's. And I also enjoyed Carlos Mencia when I first heard his act 10 years ago. The problem is that he is still doing the same act. But at least it was funny when I first heard it, unlike Dice.
     
    finswin56 likes this.
  18. Phinperor

    Phinperor formerly In_Flames Luxury Box

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    Keep voting for Galifianakis and Hedberg(R.I.P) !!! :hi5:
     
  19. Section126

    Section126 We are better than you. Luxury Box

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    WOW..you put George Carlin up vs. Denis Leary?

    Are you trying to piss me off?

    I am tempted to leave that one blank. But I will vote George..but I am not happy about being put to that decision in ROUND 1.
     
    Colorado Dolfan likes this.
  20. His'nBeatYour'n

    His'nBeatYour'n Glass Ceiling Repairman

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    MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!

    :guitar:

    :party:
     
  21. Jt0323

    Jt0323 Fins Up! Luxury Box

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    dean martin FTW
     
    finswin56 likes this.
  22. finswin56

    finswin56 Get a mop

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    That's how I feel about a lot of match ups. I think in a round our two there are going to be some run aways, but this is really good stuff His'n :up:
     
  23. Jt0323

    Jt0323 Fins Up! Luxury Box

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    Rodney Dangerfield only 93% of the votes... man he gets no respect
     
  24. His'nBeatYour'n

    His'nBeatYour'n Glass Ceiling Repairman

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    With the first round eliminating half the total entries, I always find the first round of these tourney's rather dull if the heavyweights are all pitted up against sacrificial lambs.

    Comedy is just way too subjective for me to fairly seed 128 contestants. My brain was just big enough to arrange it by best of certain groups.

    But I do have a plan to re-enter one strong contestant before round 3. There is no way Dane Cook, Gallagher, Dice Clay, or Carlos Mencia deserve to last longer than the 96 funnier contestants who will be gone by then. Cosby will definitely have a chance for revenge.
     
    finswin56 likes this.
  25. Frumundah Finnatic

    Frumundah Finnatic U Mad Miami?

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    Your IQ must be in the 30s if you fins Dane Cook funny.
     
  26. Pagan

    Pagan Metal & a Mustang

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    Why is Howard Stern included? He's not a comedian.
     
  27. Phinperor

    Phinperor formerly In_Flames Luxury Box

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    I can't stand Dane Cook or Mencia...the fact that one may move on instead of Galifianakis makes me nauseous :pity:
     
  28. His'nBeatYour'n

    His'nBeatYour'n Glass Ceiling Repairman

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    He's done a comedy show on the radio 4 hours a day for the past 30 years.
     
  29. Pagan

    Pagan Metal & a Mustang

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    Wow...really? I must have been under a rock somewhere there Cap'n Obvious! :lol:

    What I meant is that HE is not a comedian himself. Any fan of the show knows Jackie and Artie wrote all his jokes.

    I'm an Opie & Anthony fan, but I wouldn't tell you that Opie is a comedian because he runs the show.
     
  30. His'nBeatYour'n

    His'nBeatYour'n Glass Ceiling Repairman

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    What a prick. :shifty:

    Since I'm being captain obvious I'll also point out that this isn't the "Best Comedian" Tourney, it is the "Just Damn Funny" Tourney. And Howard Stern is just damn funny.

    Opie is funny, and so is Howard Stern. Comedy isn't purely about writing, performance and delivery are just as important.
     
  31. Pagan

    Pagan Metal & a Mustang

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    Why thank you! Best compliment I've heard all day! :tongue:

    Well that's a matter of opinion. ;)

    Doesn't matter anyway...Dave's spanking him. :lol:

    Aw c'mon bro...Opie blows. He's pretty much just there to keep the show running smoothly. Anthony and Norton bring the funny every day. ;)
     
  32. His'nBeatYour'n

    His'nBeatYour'n Glass Ceiling Repairman

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    Show would have been canceled years ago if it wasn't for Norton. I think the guy is hilarious on that show.

    He would have made the list if his last HBO special didn't blow.
     
  33. Pagan

    Pagan Metal & a Mustang

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    Okay now you've gone too far! "Monster Rain" was hilarious! :lol:
     
  34. His'nBeatYour'n

    His'nBeatYour'n Glass Ceiling Repairman

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    Really? I was so disappointed. I love the guy, don't get me wrong. I met him while he was shooting a commercial near Penn Station, and he was a genuinely cool guy, very friendly, very appreciative of fans just wanting to shake his hand or take his picture. I think he is the best part of O&A. I root for him to succeed. But "Monster Rain" was not nearly as funny as what he does on O&A. His 30 minute special was much better too.
     
  35. texanphinatic

    texanphinatic Senior Member

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    Wow Rodney Dangerfield is annihilating Berle, hes a strong threat to go all the way I think. Caddyshack was awesome, some great stuff by both Rodney and Bill Murray. And Chevy Chase as well now that I think about it lol.
     

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