Nice. I'm not terribly far from you, I'm a half hour away from the Meadowlands. I'm in Union County so I'm near Newark and Elizabeth.
Meanwhile, Stitches "suitcase o' dildos" goes unfound. Thanks, Officer. I'm glad you had time to play on your computer.
Ryan Clark (of the Steelers) was sitting 3 ft from me, but I couldn't figure out it was him until he got up for his flight. I knew he looked super familiar.
Nothing posted on this board has ever offended me more than that question. Of course I want to hear it....you don't know me at all.
Iraq 2003-December-my daughter was born (here not Iraq obviously) anyway I am 8.5 months in on a 14 month deployment and I get a Red Cross message that my daughter was born I am granted a 2 day leave to see her....so not counting travel time to and from Iraq, like boots in America 2 days, sucks but hey it is something....anyways I go home, upon arrival in Boston my friends pick me up in a snowstorm (Pariah was one of them) I guzzle a 40 (first alcohol in 8.5 months) go to see her, we all sleep.... Wake up the next day, and it dawns on me that Xmas is coming and the other 4 people on my team (3 guys 1 girl) aren't going to make it home so I have to go buy them all Xmas gifts because that's how I roll I am a thoughtful mofo.....I don't remember what I got the guys, but I went to the porn store (after visiting the booth) I went and copped a dildo, little silver bullet thing that has like a remote attached to it....I go home wrap them all, and pack them into the suitcase (you see where this is going).... Kiss my brizz and my baby, off to fight the war again plane out of Boston to Germany, get off in Germany waiting for a mil-flight to Iraq layover 2.5 hours.....finally check-in time. It is me and 4 other black guys going with me on the flight (I felt bad one's mother died, ones brother got shot, and they ask me and I am like "uhhh my daughter was born''). So we all give up our bag and head over.... "Ah Sgt, can you step out of line please?" "What's up Pvt?" "We need to see whats in your bag, we noticed something suspicious" yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhh it dawns on me just then, that the freaking dildo has a remote with a wire going from it to the actual vibrator piece, saying to myself "idiot, I am screwed"... They point to that package (wrapped in Xmas paper) and ask to unwrap it.....I turn and go "This is going to sound crazy but I have a female on my team and this is a dildo and I don't want to unwrap it because I don't have anymore paper" (MP comes over with a dog, sniffs around yeah I am causing a effing international incident Yank style) They arent hearing it "I said unwrap it Sgt" dude you got to understand now I am CARRRRRRREFUUUUUULYYYY unwrapping this thing as not to rip the paper because there is no Xmas paper where I am going you know? But in the meantime my very careful disassembling of this and causing greater concern for the MP's there....I finally get it off and low and behold it is a dildo, they all laugh at me and tell me to get the eff out of there.... Lastly I get back to where the black guys I was traveling with were and they laughing talking about "see see what it is like to be black for once, we all got let through and they nabbed one guy you"....I laughed and told them I had a dildo that they thought was a bomb, and they didn't think I was telling the truth.... Happy Friday folks.... P.S....I have another search that involves a 155 round and jail time but that's for later sweetpea...
Thats actually a ****ing great story. Sadness, glee, laughter, concern, guns, dogs, black guys, dildos........its like a Tarintino movie. Well done Yank. quick question though.....does a dildo that size ACTUALLY reach your prostate?
Great story finyank. Lol Sucks you guys only get 2 days for major life occurrences though. Wish they would allow for a few days more.
I said this in his thread, but it bears repeating.... if it wasn't for CashInFist, I'd be the dumbest person in North America.
Was at a drive through, and a homeless guy taps a window asking for change to buy some food. I waved him off saying I had no cash (I really didn't) but then for some reason (besides the fact that, you know, he was homeless) I felt bad, and at the window ordered another meal and asked to give it to the homeless guy because I was in a hurry. So i got my food, and did a lap around the place expecting to see the guy at the same place where he was when I pulled up. Wasn't there. Ended up cruising around for 10 minutes looking for the guy and he ****ing evaporated. Felt stupid as ****. Ordered him the whole meal too lol while I only got me a sandwhich thinking **** it, save a few bucks for once. Didn't go back to the window in hope that the guy working will be a good sport if he spots the man and will give him the food Yank, great ****ing story. I LOLed imagining you having to say that to MPs out loud. Sounds like more has happened since your last update here lol
Well, you would think my wife getting a hold of my phone and reading a bunch of texts would make me stop chatting with this other chick, right? Well it did for about a week. But now we're pretty much back to where we were. We know this will lead to nowhere good, but we can't stop. Or we won't stop.
Dude, it is so not worth it. we all have that temptation to connect with someone that isn't our wife. almost human nature that when you're stressed out with a tired wife due to little ones. think about it this way. you and your wife get divorced, she then spends the rest of your life telling your daughters that their father was a complete slimeball and cheated on her while they were still toddlers. then you forever lose the respect of your daughters because you betrayed their mother. Is that worth it? believe me, I see it all the time minimally, if you hate your wife, you should do the right thing and break up with her, then go out on a date.
PSG... You should read this great Piece of advice once a day. This paragraph puts it all in perspective.
And PSG, one more thing I tell myself everyday, your daughters will see how you treat your wife and it will likely affect the type of man they go after when they get older. Often, they go after someone like their Dad. That in itself keeps me monogamous.
So my ex called me about 30 minutes ago, saying all her friends ditched her and she wanted to see if I wanted to do something for Cinco De Mayo. Now, I haven't seen her in person since early march, and we've been together 4 out of past (not counting march, April) 5 years. I love her dearly, to this day I care for her. Just don't see us working out Long term. Now..:I can call her back, we end up going out and having sex. Or I can call it a night (been drinking all day and wasn't planning on getting too crazy anyway) and try to move on emotionally vs being sucked back in. In words of R Kelly...my mind is telling me no, but my body is telling me yes lol
Iam right. You can be Carmelo and keep shooting tough shots, or be Lebron and constantly make the RIGHT basketball play for your team.
if you can do it without wanting to date her again, do it, because I guarantee all she is thinking about is getting some. Otherwise, tell her no, and drink beer till you pass out.
26 years old, and I just lost another good friend of mine. **** cancer. He had been fighting since 2005 (our senior year of HS) RIP Justin. I love you bro!
I think that if your kid has no idea who Bugs Bunny is, then not only have you failed as a parent. You are also within your legal right to smack the **** out of him/her.
