Hey phellow phins phans,
I have been a long time lurker, but this is my first post. First, I am super stoked for this season! With Reggie already setting his sights on the NFL's leading rusher, the stiff QB competition, and the Philbin regime getting underway I have no doubt we'll be competing this year. I wasnt fully on board with the Garrard signing but reports are saying hes looking sharp, maybe we've found a diamond in the rough!
Anyway,
on to the real story! I was in a Costco yesterday picking up some cat food, and I was kneeling down trying to decide between Fancy Feast or Meow Mix when I felt a presence to my left. I noticed another customer was looking at feline treats and continued about my way. The customer then tapped me on the shoulder and said something I will never forget "Hey man, do you work here?", before he could even finish a jolt of pure jubilation shot through me. Being the die hard fan that I am, I knew that was the voice of MIAMI DOLPHINS SAFETY, CHRIS CLEMONS!!!!!
My excitement was obvious, grinning ear to ear, as I politely said "No, I am however, the biggest Phins fan in this place!".
I asked him how his off season was going and made some small talk. What surprised me the most was how willing he was to talk to me. When he found out I was a fan, I thought he'd run away, but instead we chatted it up for a solid five minutes. What happened next is the stuff dreams are made of. He was telling me about his new workout regimen and how hes been working on his explosiveness. I asked him if he could give me some tips for nephew whose a local youth league and he more than obliged. He called over a store employee, tossed him a a catnip filled mouse, looked at me and said "play ball" I had told him earlier how I caught a few balls in high school so I think he took that as a challenge. I lined up against Clemons with the clerk taking the snap. "Set, Hike!" I took off (Ive still got it, 36 years young LOL) bumped him a bit at "the line" and was able to get a half step on him, when I look back I see Jerry (the clerk) launch up that toy with a surprisingly tight spin on it. I look up while the mouse is at it's highest point, look in front of me, see the ball falling in my outstretched hands, and like the hands of god, Clemons (mid air) reaches over me and takes away what wouldve been (presumably) the greatest cat aisle touchdown in the history of Costco. "I let you think you had it, just messin with ya hommie" After that he gave me a hand shake and we both went our separate ways, both a little more awesome then when we came in.
Based on what Ive seen out of our starters and this encounter, Id have to say Clemons will be a sleeper pro bowl pick this year. CANT WAIT! Anyway, I just wanted to share this life changing experience with you guys. Ill be on here for a couple hours if you have any questions, and then Ill check back after work tomorrow. I did get his autograph on my Fancy Feast box, Ill upload it as soon as I figure out how to load a pic from my phone to here.
Later Bros!
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That's pretty funny.
I actually saw Jared Odrick at Zona Fresca in Ft. Lauderdale last night, but figured the guy was eating and didn't want to bother him. Maybe I should have, reading this.eltos_lightfoot likes this. -
SICK, Disgustipate and Ophinerated like this.
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holy crap dude. that is amazing. i hope you figure out the picture thing soon. I'd love to run into a player like that. I've just got some sweet autographs from training camp over the years.
two years ago i got a kendal langford one. still got it hung up on the wall. -
Nice bro! Those are hard to find! I'd definitely hang it in the man cave!
Yeah I have no clue, I guess I could send it to my email and upload it that way... -
Dude great story. What a cool gesture by the guy. I am pulling for him, always liked his speed, and won't forget his goaline tackle two years back.
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So, we should expect him to play well vs. the Bengals and the Panthers?
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finyank13 likes this.
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When you lined up against him, you should've asked for the mouse, found the widest aisle you could and made him practice open field tackling with you. Actually, a cat playing with a mouse filled with catnip does resemble Clemons' open-field tackling efforts.
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Hey, I get my medicinal ganja from a guy who looks a lot like Dan Carpenter!
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2. Like many others here, I am as diehard a Phinfan as it gets, but you knew it was Chris Clemons by his voice? Wow. That's pretty good.
3. Don't buy Fancy Feast or Meow Mix. That s--t is poison. Buy better cat food and treat that p***y better.
4. Cool story bro. Peace!dolfan32323 likes this. -
I hope to God they make Brady throw catnip toys this season.
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People are missing the point of this story....................Clemons held onto the mouse!!
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This remind anyone else of the kid from little giants that cant catch a football, but he can catch a roll of toliet paper?
bberg and unluckyluciano like this. -
This thread makes me happy inside.
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Lmao @ anyone who believed this crap.
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Anyway, sick story! Wish I was able to call out player by face.. I can only spot a handful. One day, I'll get there. Not like I'll see any up here anyway!
...unless i was trolled? -
Its not intelligence, its common sense.
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I no longer will talk football with any of them, only troll them myself..They could of come to talk football like adults, but they came as children..trust me. -
Welp. Then I guess I did. And stand by it.... -
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***disclaimer serious post alert***
Hey guys,
I just wanted to say good luck this season. I have to be honest, the Dolphins fans I've met have always been class acts. I cant say the same for the Patsies or Jest. Yeah, I started a troll thread on your boards....Sorry....Its a long off season and I needed to shake things up, I was tired of all the same old threads over on our boards. We have been in a similar situation for the last decade + so we cad definitely relate. I hope that you guys made a good pick with Tannehill, he looks sharp. Anywho, this was fun, enjoy your summer, wish I was in Miami!
-Ron Swanson -
I have to follow the statements of Ron above. We were a little board so figured why not. Best of luck guys. Although I knew about Phinsanity but not the other one you're claiming to be a 3rd with us. lol. best of luck guys..
also i posted in the GM forum you guys really should check out action PC sports. Dave Koch does an amazing job with his Simulation Football
-Budda -
Good story man. Some athletes are not so accommodating, but many are, and are good people.
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We want people to think we're upstanding individuals...........and associating with Sick is not the best way to do that. Like calling into his radio show and talking about Lavender hair.............:shifty: