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My family's story.

Discussion in 'Outreach Forum' started by Jeffrey, Oct 8, 2009.

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  1. Jeffrey

    Jeffrey Banned

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    My real name is Brian. I picked Jeffrey as my user name because there are people who stalk me on the internet. Anyway....this is the story about how both of my only brothers died. Needless to say I've been struggling with life ever since.


    http://www.drugfree.org/Memorials/Casey_and_Dave_Pease
     
    Ludacris, Two Tacos, SICK and 7 others like this.
  2. azfinfanmang

    azfinfanmang Premium Member Luxury Box

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    Wow brother, my heart and prayers go out to you.
    Please find solice here, you are surrounded by the best virtual family on the net.

    Az

    EDIT: If you ever need to talk, or have any questions about the site, please feel free to ask.

    Also, it mentions that your dad worked for the phins at one point :up: nothing wrong with that at all

    Very good to have you. You have just ventured upon a new family :yes:
     
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  3. Jeffrey

    Jeffrey Banned

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    Thank you very much. I really feel welcome here, unlike other sites.
     
  4. Jeffrey

    Jeffrey Banned

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    This is a song that I think says it all basically.

    Hatebreed "Unloved"

    When it all ended there was nowhere to turn. I hid inside myself hoping someone would find me. That day never came. As the years passed the pain lessened. I thought your voice was silenced forever. I was wrong. This time there's no turning back. Emerge from a doorway at the end of a war inside my soul. There's no picking up where we left off and there will not be a future. I've died so many times inside. I've accepted this pain. And I can't look back now. I never will. You don't know. You don't care .You never have and you never will. You made me realize everything I've ever known of love was pain.
    And the person you once were has died and rotted away. I've lived with this knife in my heart. As a reminder of what I can't be. All I know how to do is hate you. There is nothing you can ever say or do. You don't know.You don't care. You never have and you never will. You were never part of my life and you never will be. Unloved. I was born unloved.
     
  5. dolphindebby

    dolphindebby Season Ticket Holder Luxury Box

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    Welcome Brian.
    Your family story is heart wrenching, but so much love from your dad.
    I'm glad you joined our family here, you'll really love it.
    All here are good people and are always willing to help in any way they can.
    So, relax and enjoy the best site anywhere, bar none.:up:
     
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  6. Jeffrey

    Jeffrey Banned

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    Thanks for the warm welcome and the support. I need all the help I can get right now. I seriously feel like I am losing my mind.
     
  7. SICK

    SICK Lounge Moderator

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    Brian. i am the oldest of 4 children, and have a 20 month old son. please know i feel so much pain for your losses, and has hit home with me. i could not imagine what you have gone through in your life, and continue to go through. i will pray and send good thoughts to you and your family. i am so glad you joined us on this site.....we are all like family here.....if you need anything. private message me here, or email me blitznlb33@aol.com

    my name is chris. and its a absolute pleasure to meet you bro. stay strong.....and we will all try to help you if you need anything at all.

    welcome to thephins btw.....go dolphins! hope they finish this season strong. and congrats on graduating from nova!!!!

    p.s.- why would someone be stalking you? if you dont mind me asking...
     
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  8. Jeffrey

    Jeffrey Banned

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    Thank you for your thoughts and prayers Chris. It means a lot to me. I feel like the Dolphins are part of my family. My brothers were as big of a fan as I am, and we all watched the games every Sunday. One of my favorite memories of my brother Casey is when we went to the 2000 Monday Night Miracle game against the Jets. My dad was able to get us tickets through a connection he had, and we ended up sitting next to Oronde Gadsdens cousins! We talked with them for most of the game. When all the Jets fans started leaving the stadium because the score was 30-7?, we went down to the lower level. It seemed like moving away from Oronde's cousins was like a bad omen for the team. Anyway, after the game we drove home and I honestly don't think one word was spoken. It was a painful game to witness, but a special memory that I will always hold in my heart.
     
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  9. gunn34

    gunn34 I miss Don & Dan

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    Thanks for sharing. Hopefully you will live the life they should have. Your dad shared a touching story. Thank you.
     
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  10. Ohiophinphan

    Ohiophinphan Chaplain Staff Member Luxury Box

    Good luck and welcome aboard. This is a different place where people treat each other with respect and affection. It is a good place to be.
     
  11. Jeffrey

    Jeffrey Banned

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    Thanks Chaplain. You are a man of few words it seems.
     
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  12. Fin Fan In Cali

    Fin Fan In Cali Dolphin fan since 1970 Luxury Box

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    Pastor Keith is one of the greatest men on this site brother.:up: I think the post you left in the suicide thread could of been better in support. Pastor Keith really puts a lot of time and effort into helping the family here. He is a awesome person to turn to, should you need that in your life. Prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. Sorry for your loss.
     
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  13. Jeffrey

    Jeffrey Banned

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    I don't know what post you are referring to. I just thought it was odd that the Chaplain didn't acknowledge what my post was about. That's all.
     
  14. Ohiophinphan

    Ohiophinphan Chaplain Staff Member Luxury Box

    Fair enough.

    I am not sure what I could or should say. The story in the paper is intense and defies an easy "answer". Besides, I didn't see a "question" to respond to so I didn't

    Please know though, from the first moment I read it, I added you and your family to my prayers. The situation is tragic. I have no idea what emotions are running through you at this point? Anger, grief, depression, denial, ..... All require differant answers at differant times.

    We will be here if and when you wish to process any or all of them.
     
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  15. Jeffrey

    Jeffrey Banned

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    Any negative emotion you can possibly think of. You name it........thats what I'm going through. And I just spoke with my brother Dave's friend Jack yesterday for the first time in years. He told me what really happened to Dave in NYC that night on May 25, 1997. The story that was given to us by his "friends" was not true.

    Here is the real story. My brother Dave drank a bottle of overproof rum that he had just won on a bet. He made a bet with his boss (who was a Knicks fan) that the Heat would beat the Knicks in the 97 playoffs. The Knicks took a 3-1 game lead, and then Miami came back to win the series in 7 games. My brother chose overproof rum. Anyway, he and his friend finished the bottle and then went down to NYC. The story that we were given is that he went into the bathroom with some people he had just met, came back to the bar and said he had "just done some stuff" and collapsed. This is what really happened. Dave took a shot of heroin and immediately fell out. His "friends" proceeded to leave him on the sidewalk in a bad part of town in NYC. They left him there to die. Dave's wallet was stolen and he had a gash on his forehead, as if someone hit him. They just left him on the sidewalk and continued partying. This happened around midnight. My brother didn't get brought to the hospital until 5:30 am. It was too late.
     
  16. Ohiophinphan

    Ohiophinphan Chaplain Staff Member Luxury Box

    Just when you thought the story couldn't get any worse................

    I am very, very sorry for the loss to you and your family!

    The rest of our talk can continue in our pm exchange.
     
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  17. Jeffrey

    Jeffrey Banned

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    I've been going over and over what happened in my head. Words cannot describe how I feel when I think about my brother being abandoned on the side of the road and left to die. I think about all of the people who must have seen my brother in need of help, but decided to just keep walking. Or the person(s) who did stop, but proceeded to take my brothers wallet and check his pockets for anything else of value.
     
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  18. Boik14

    Boik14 Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    Brian, what you have gone through is not something many people could make it through without losing the ability to see the world clearly and objectively. Going through what you went through at that age has to be difficult to live with everyday but be an example of strength because one day your story will impact someone else and show it is possible to get through these things and live a happy, successful life.

    I live through this every day as well. The first time I ever really went away was when I was 20 and had just finished community college. I was working in a sleep-away camp that summer to make a little extra dough before going away to school. My best friend died that summer on a wave runner. Had I been home he probably never would have been on the wave runner since I was usually to busy beating him in a game of hoops or some video game (usually NHL Hockey) and never really liked wave runners. Sometimes things happen outside of our control. Its easy to ask "what if" or to contemplate taking the easy way out of situations but it isnt the solution to anything from my own experience. The solution is to live everyday and to let the people you love know that youre there for them too. Myself and my friends started a charity for him and gave money to help our local high school students who had grades but not funds for college. Honor your brothers and stay strong bro :)
     
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  19. Sethdaddy8

    Sethdaddy8 Well-Known Member

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    your story breaks my heart. i admire that you and your parents have the strength to merely function and carry on. as a father and a brother, i cant fathom the pain and loss. i wish you the best at finding your pockets of happiness, pushing forward, and celebrating your own life in honor of your brothers. its what they would have wanted im sure.
    i will have your story in my head for quite some time, and i take your father's "get a grip" message to heart, as my kid(s) grow older.

    and welcome to the site. it usually isnt this crazy here, but its Jest week.
     
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  20. Jeffrey

    Jeffrey Banned

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    I'm losing it.
     
  21. Sethdaddy8

    Sethdaddy8 Well-Known Member

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    hang in there brother.
     
  22. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    hang in there bro. ull make it through.
     
  23. Jeffrey

    Jeffrey Banned

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    You sure about that?
     
  24. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    yup uve made it this far.
     
  25. Jeffrey

    Jeffrey Banned

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    Far is relative.
     
  26. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    lost two brothers, graduated college, you're still going, id say you're pretty damn far.
     
  27. Jeffrey

    Jeffrey Banned

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    I believe that my brother Dave was killed. I know he chose to take that shot of heroin, but his "friend" left him out to dry. He might as well have put a gun to his head and pulled the trigger.

    At the wake, Dave's friend Jack was approached by Mike, one of Dave's friends from high school. Mike and a couple other people wanted the "green light" to murder these scumbags. Since Jack isn't a scumbag, he didn't give them the greenlight. He said and I quote...."It wouldn't bring Dave back."

    Looking back on that....I wish that Jack had given the green light.
     
  28. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    you want revenge. Who wouldn't?
    You're friend jack is right though. If the friend was killed, who would benefit? Your brothers friends would go to prison, a person would be dead, how many more families would be destroyed. you're angry, and sad. I understand I would be too.
     
  29. Boik14

    Boik14 Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    So destroying someone elses family would make you feel better? What they did was wrong no question but nothing that could be said or done is bring your brother back right? So whats the point?

    What destroyed your family wasnt anyone else then your brother deciding to stick a needle in his arm. Those other kids were probably blitzed themselves...obviously they werent very good friends but at the same time they arent your brothers keeper.
     
  30. Jeffrey

    Jeffrey Banned

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    I'm back.
     
  31. gunn34

    gunn34 I miss Don & Dan

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    I'm glad. Stay strong Jeffrey. You can show the world, you're a survivor. You have certainly proved it to all of us.
     
  32. Jeffrey

    Jeffrey Banned

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    I had an epiphany in Orlando the other night. I can tell you the entire story if you want, but I found God.
     
  33. azfinfanmang

    azfinfanmang Premium Member Luxury Box

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    Good to see you back :hi5:
     
  34. Jeffrey

    Jeffrey Banned

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    Thank you to whoever unlocked this thread. I was offended when I found out that someone had locked it.
     
  35. Ohiophinphan

    Ohiophinphan Chaplain Staff Member Luxury Box

    While I wasn't the one who locked it, I agreed with the decision. Not to disrespect you but because some of the answers were not going well in the discussion. In what was intended to be a compassionate act on your behalf, we didn't want anything more that would have upset you. The result might not have been what you wanted but the motive was a good one.

    I am happy for your epiphany and would be delighted to hear about it. Perhaps you would send me a pm or maybe make a thread in the religion forum. Some will challenge you but that is a generally respectful place.

    Welcome back!
     
  36. Jeffrey

    Jeffrey Banned

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    Thanks for being one of the few people who actually care. I know that there are people on this site that hate me for whatever reason. But you know what? I don't care. People can knit pick me to death but they don't know or care what I'm going through, so it doesn't matter to me. And my gut feeling is being confirmed by the minute as people don't respond to my messages or friend requests.
     
  37. Jeffrey

    Jeffrey Banned

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    Not surprised that no one responded. I came here to reach out for help and I got banned for 10 days, then ignored.

    Thanks.
     
  38. Jt0323

    Jt0323 Fins Up! Luxury Box

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    You are not being ignored... People may not have read this thread, or they just don't have an answer or anything to say...its not because you are being ignored... Also it's only been a couple of hours. you need to give people more time to respond.
     
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  39. SICK

    SICK Lounge Moderator

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    plus it was 3 in the morning, most people are asleep......or in the ladies lounge haha

    jeffrey im here to talk if you ever need anything, you can pm me....we have been chatting VIA visitor messages......i work till 530ish however, and if i cant respond during the day....you know why. i dont have access to thephins at work, enless i sneak on my phone during a break or something.
     
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  40. Jeffrey

    Jeffrey Banned

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    I'm just really disappointed with how I feel like every word I say is knit picked to death. I feel like people are just looking for an excuse to ban me again. I just want people to not treat me like I'm an outcast. Which is how I get treated in real life seemingly everywhere I go. Just please cut me some slack. That's all I ask. Don't send me an infraction and ban me over something small. I'm not sitting here cursing people out or threatening anyone. I'm just trying to reach out for some help.

    The hand over the fist.
     
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