Let me offer you some background. I have a friend, Remy. He is a patio furniture salesman. He's in town for the local Tampa Bay Patio/Spa Mega Blowout Convention (TBPSMBC). Remy and I were having an interesting conversation about Gummy Bears (the cartoon) when he casually mentioned that he bumped into THE Juan Huron, at the TBPSMBC. I nearly lost it. "Juan Huron? In town? At the TBPSMBC? You're kidding me!" "Do you want to meet him?" asked Remy. "Is a pig's pu--y pork?" I replied. After much haranguing over Remy's finder's fee (goodbye Megadeth Clash of the Titans '91 summer tour concert tee), I find myself sitting on a custom crafted wicker patio chair, staring over a seashell-in-foam table at this 5'5" and 145 pound golden god among men. Me: "I can't believe you took the time to meet me. I'm such a big fan." Juan Huron: "Neither do I" (awkward pause, my hands shaking as I try and gather my notes) Juan Huron: "What is that smell?" Me: "You smell something?" Juan Huron: "Fear" Me: "Heh. So, Juan. It's been years since Dolphins faithful first hea--" Juan Huron: "Are you going to buy something?" Me: "No- wait, do you need me to?" Juan Huron: "Yes" Me: "I suppose I could take a look at that rustic-looking Corinthian outdoor fireplace piece." Juan Huron: "Cash or credit?" Me: "Credit, I guess." Juan Huron: "I go get the paper work." Me: "Ok, no problem. I'll just wait he- you're back!" Juan Huron: "Card and ID please" Me: "Here you go. While you run that, I was wondering if I might ask you what you've been up to nowadays? I mean, aside from selling this fantastic patio furniture." Juan Huron: "I sell patio furniture. Is a good job." Me: "You don't play football anymore? But you had such a promising career!" Juan Huron: "I played two years in the Mexican church league, the Oaxaca Maracas. I am very good. I have three...seven catches for 37...52 yards." Me: "That's excellent production. You don't play for them anymore?" Juan Huron: "No. I am so fast. They don't catch me. They can't believe how fast I am. When I play, they see that I am fast. It was political." Me: "Did you ever get to try out for the Dolphins?" Juan Huron: "No. My agent say that I am so fast and my hands are good, I only drop three balls for the Maracas. My hands are good. Some kind of mix up with the phone, the phone card." Me: "I'm sorry to hear that, Juan. Did you try any other NFL teams?" Juan Huron: "Sign here" Me: "You bet. You know, the Dolphins just signed a guy from the Canadian Football League..." Juan Huron: "Really?" Me: "Yes. He dominated that league much like you dominated yours. They might be a little more open-minded, now." Juan Huron: "Who they have?" Me: "Well, they have Ted Ginn-" Juan Huron: "He slow" Me: "They also have this kid out of Hawaii, Davone Bess." Juan Huron: "Have good hands?" Me: "Yes" Juan Huron: "My are better" Me: "Well, then maybe you should give them a call. Who knows?" Juan Huron: "Have to go" Me: "I understand. I wish we could have had more ti- you're back!" Juan Huron: "Forgot receipt" Me: "Thanks, Juan" And just like that, as quickly as he blew into my life, this golden dynamo had blown away, like a really, really fast wind over the plains of Oaxaca. I know his fateful journey will continue, and that he will carry the wishes of all Dol-Fans in his heart. As I load my Corinthian hearth into the back of my Honda Accord, I wonder when I will hear "Mad Dog" Mandich say those inevitable words: "Pennington to Huron...Juan Huron is off to the races! Touchdown Mi-ami!!!"