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My turn for the advice column.

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Big E, Jun 11, 2008.

  1. Big E

    Big E Plus sized porn star

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    Alot of cats on here (not you lucky) seem to be real smart and stuff ,so I thought I'd give it a shot a roo. I work at a job that I absolutely hate, I mean I utterly feel like crap every day I work. At night I think about how much I dont want to go to work the next day. But I have great benefits at this job, I mean top of the line, and the pay is, ok, its not the best but it pays the bills. And with kids I feel like I have to keep a job like this to stay above water. I dont even really know what I want to do, or what I'm good at that I could enjoy doing to make money. I dont want to stay at my job, and I feel if I stay much longer I am going to walk out, and then I would be jobless all together. I actually hate Indiana....but thats another story all in its own.I feel like I am in a major rut, any suggestions on how to get myself out of it?
     
  2. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    woooo I was worried there for a moment....
     
  3. Sethdaddy8

    Sethdaddy8 Well-Known Member

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    i know what its like to not be fulfilled or content, yet not have a dream or a goal to go after. its a tough spot, but you cant go around miserable in life. you hear the stories of people taking risks and chances, but thats hard to do when you have a family to provide for. if you want a quick fix: you need to line up another job, and hopefully leave your current job for it. invest some energy into finding a new career that you're qualified for. set it up, then give your two weeks notice. thats the fastest and safest thing i could recommend for you to do.
     
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  4. alen1

    alen1 New Member

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    Don't know if I am one of the real smart cats but I can give you my opinion on it. I think you should do what you think is best for you and your family. If the job you have currently puts food on the table for your family and yourself, then you may have to stick with it. Its pretty hard to find a job as of right now we all know so I am not sure how much success you would have finding one with equal pay and so forth. However, you could explore the situations around you and see if there is an opening that you may like. You don't want to be miserable your whole life at this job and I don't think we want to see you miserable at this job or anywhere else either. As for the benefits, you could find good ones bro. My mom has her own store and she got tired of sitting at home taking in orders so she just went out searching for a random job. She ended up with a job of good pay and benefits despite the lack of jobs right now. Again, I think you should just go explore the possibilities and see what you get out of it. Some jobs may not have the "Now Hiring" sign but they could still be open to adding another colleague as it happened with my mom.

    Wish you the best of luck whichever direction you choose to go bro.
     
  5. FinSane

    FinSane Cynical Dolphins Fan

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    Watch Office Space. Then, come to the conclusion that no one likes their jobs. Sorry if that doesnt help.
     
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  6. alen1

    alen1 New Member

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    :lol:
     
  7. Sethdaddy8

    Sethdaddy8 Well-Known Member

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    NJ
  8. Sethdaddy8

    Sethdaddy8 Well-Known Member

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    NJ
  9. BuckeyeKing

    BuckeyeKing Wolves DYNASTY!!!!

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    Hey Enforce have you tried looking at other jobs? Like sending out your resume for a better job?
     
  10. Firesole

    Firesole Season Ticket Holder

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    Dude I totall feel your pain. I left home at age 21 to join the Army to basically get out of a dead end job, since I wasn't going to school. After I got out I had a decent career with a job that I actually liked until Sept. 11th. Well after rebounding from that huge setback and losing that job I found another one, although I'm not all that happy with it, and I basically hate doing it, so I know where you're coming from.

    My problem is this, my dream (goal) is to make it as a poker player. I'd love to be able to sit and play poker for a living, and I'm pretty sure I could do it if I could get my bankroll up high enough. The problem is that I'm not sure my wife would like to be married to a poker player, you know someone who is basically a degenerate gambler and is always out every night playing poker (when in reality I'd be doing a job that I love to do and hopefully providing for her). So now I'm in the small stages of building up the bankroll, visiting the dogtrack once in a while trying to get that bankroll up higher and higher. I'd like to be able to get it up to about ten thousand and actually try and show her that it is possible, but I don't know if it will ever happen. But I'm going to at least try!
     
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  11. charlestonphan

    charlestonphan Junior Member

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    is there something you could go into business for yourself doing? something you are good at, or have wanted to do? just a thought. maybe something you could start part time initially until you see if it will be a successful venture, and whether or not you can support a family doing it.

    as an example, my brother is a firefighter. he works 24 hours on duty and then has 48 hours off. he always knows his schedule, so he can do other stuff on the off days. he has bartended some, and done some landscaping too.
     
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  12. cnc66

    cnc66 wiley veteran, bad spelur Luxury Box

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    Eric, why not go back to school... maybe once you get started you will find something that will jazz you AND pay the bills. You are pretty much stuck where you are for the time being so talk it over with the wifey and see if she will help you go to school.
     
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  13. Vendigo

    Vendigo German Gigolo Club Member

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    Well, what is it that you hate about your job? Is it the work itself? Is it the collegues, the atmosphere, the boss? Obviously you're pretty good at what you're doing (otherwise you wouldn't get paid well with a lot of benefits, would you?) so maybe it's all about a change of scenery and finding yourself a similar job somewhere you actually like it. In my experience, having fun at work has preciously little to do with the job itself but a lot with the people you work with.

    Here's a little story if you want it: I used to work for a computer gaming magazine several years back. I did the usual reviews, previews and trips around the globe that come with the job and I basically got paid pretty well for something I loved doing and would be doing anyway even if I didn't get paid. It's any guy's dream, right? Make your hobby your job. Well, here's the catch: After two years, it wasn't a hobby anymore. It was work. And it really wasn't a whole lot of fun. My friends and family were appalled when I quit the job to go to university again but really it was one of the best decisions of my life. I used to play games a lot before I took the job and I don't play them anymore now. Truth to be told, I'm sick and tired of them. Right now, I'm pursuing a career in academics. Obviously I have no family to take care of, but there's not a single day I regretted giving up a well paid job that a lot of people would take in a heartbeat to go into academics. There's a moral in that story somewhere. At least I hope so.
     
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  14. SICK

    SICK Lounge Moderator

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    hey bro, if your good enough to make bank....but you just need the dough, have you thought about taking out a small loan?
     
  15. Firesole

    Firesole Season Ticket Holder

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    I've taken small loans here and there from friends (and I mean small :lol: ) but no I'm in too much debt right now to even attempt that. That's basically what is holding me up. I'm having to start small and grind my way up. Last night helped though, I walked away from the table up over $500 after playing for almost 2 hours.
     
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  16. HardKoreXXX

    HardKoreXXX Insensitive to the Touch

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    I know Ive said this before on this site, but Ive quit a couple jobs I hated (that paid well) to take lower paying jobs I enjoyed.

    I was a retail manager and hated every minute of it. Sure I was coming home with sweet paychecks, but I was working 60 hour weeks and had no free time to enjoy that money or spend time with the people I cared about.

    I took a chance and moved across the state to South Fla. and its hands-down best decision Ive ever made. I dont have kids but I did leave my family, friends, and girlfriend at the time for this oppurtunity. Try telling those people you're moving 2 1/2 hours away to make less money.

    Bottom line is it doesnt matter how much money you make if you're miserable. Life is too short to hate what you do. There are always employers looking for good people with experience. Post your resume and start looking for that better job.
     
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  17. MonstBlitz

    MonstBlitz Nobody's Fart Catcher

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    Just to reiterate some of the things people already have said -

    Very few people are lucky enough to find a job doing what they love. So it's all about find a job that you don't hate.

    And don't quit your job before having another one already lined up. Finding a job when you're already employed is much easier than finding a job unemployed. Don't burn any bridges when you leave your old job. Never know when you might need a good reference!
     
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  18. DOLPHAN1

    DOLPHAN1 Premium Member Luxury Box

    although taking care of your family is the primary reason for your job, just remember that if you don't take care of your self first, then eventually you wont be able to take care of them. the present job may be paying the bills, but what is it doing to you first and to your family second? talk to your wife and make sure she understands what is going on. you might be surprised by the support you might get from her. then, as Sethdaddy stated, find something comparable to get you out your current situation. buy yourself some time to figure out what it is you might want to do.
     
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  19. Stitches

    Stitches ThePhin's Biggest Killjoy Luxury Box

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    E, can I suggest looking into classes at IU? I assume they would help with tuition, and that way you might be able to get a jump onto a career you enjoy. That is merely a suggestion though.
     
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  20. Big E

    Big E Plus sized porn star

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    yeh, I'm on it. but I dont know if I really want to go back to school, I may not have a choice though.
     
  21. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    Only thing I can honestly suggest to you bro, is figure out what it is you don't like, be it just your job, the repetitive nature of your job, or your day, whatever, and then find away around it. If you just don't like the repetitive nature then find a hobby. If it's just your job as a whole, then maybe look into doing some night classes. I know at the university here you can get certified in certain things, so maybe rather then go after a full degree you can lets say get a cert in networking then if you get a couple you can get a starting position doing it. Something like that is what I would recommend if you are a bit weary of getting into a big degree. Otherwise I'd say just apply, and start taking some night classes. Explore a bit, and find what interests you, then go for the degree.
     
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  22. GridIronKing34

    GridIronKing34 Silently Judging You Club Member

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    I'd have to agree with lucky, before you go spend a boatload of money on a degree... find out what you want to do and go from there. There's always online classes as well that you could look into. There are plenty of opportunities, bro.. You just gotta look for'm! :hi5:
     
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  23. Sethdaddy8

    Sethdaddy8 Well-Known Member

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    Whats so important about what lucky says here, is that basically, we are our thoughts. if you can dissect what is wrong about you're current situation, you can indeed fix it, without doing much at all. you can change the definitions of what the source of pain is. if you change your definitions of a given situation, you will change your views of a given situation, and the problem can be eliminated.

    say your problem is, in your job, the people you deal with are unpleasant, and are jerks. change your thoughts. change your definition of the situation. these people are not jerks, they are troubled people, and they need my help. they dont mean to be rude, they simply need me desperatley. i have the ability to bring value to them, and make their lives better, and that will make my life better, because helping others is so rewarding. thats just an example, but you get the jist i hope.

    changing your thoughts and definitions would be the fastest way to immediate resolution. that and constantly reminding yourself to be grateful for what you have. harp on your family and their healthy...not the negative. when you are busy being grateful, it does wonders for your well-being.
     
  24. #1 fan

    #1 fan Well-Known Member

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    i left a job i hated to go back to school three years ago. in august, i'll graduate, and to be honest, i might go back to doing my old job. school's ok, but maybe not an end all. at least i got three years of something new.

    another thing, when i hated my job the most, i was drinking every day. if you do drink, i might consider laying off for a couple of days and see if your serotonin doesn't re-adjust. this seemed to work for me, at least as a temporary fix.
     
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  25. rafael

    rafael Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    enforcerfin33,

    I would recommend reading a book called "The 4-hour Work Week" by Timothy Ferriss. You can get it at Amazon or any bookstore. It should also be available at the library. It might give you some motivation and maybe the freedom to take some time to figure out what you want to do.
     
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  26. Big E

    Big E Plus sized porn star

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    actually just the opposite has occurred for me. I am starting to drink more, which scares me a little.
     
  27. DrAstroZoom

    DrAstroZoom Canary in a Coal Mine Luxury Box

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    Eric, what is it you do for a living, exactly? Sorry if you explained on page two and I missed it.
     
  28. texasPHINSfan

    texasPHINSfan New Member

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    forgive me if i haven't read the entire thread (my time is REALLY at a premium these days), but your happiness has to come first dude! i understand having a responsibility to your family, and that must certainly weigh on you as well.

    my recommendation would seem to be the most blatant and obvious - begin the job search! do it quietly while still working at your current job. If you have to take a slight hit in salary or wages initially, that's ok - your happiness difference will be worth the $$ difference. Eventually i'm sure you'll work your way back up the totem pole of wherever else you go to work and you'll be where you are right now with the income, just enjoying it a lot more.

    Do you have a college degree? While i definitely agree that doesn't make one smarter, it does seem to allow one to search for better paying jobs, if not qualify for more jobs. :up:
     
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  29. Big E

    Big E Plus sized porn star

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    I work at IU for a cancer treatment facility ,have for about two yrs. I worked my way into the position I have now. I started off working for a different department and I was happy there, but things change as I am very aware of, and I got moved to engineering under doc. control, I know nothing about any of the stuff they do, nor am I really interested in it, and I work for someone that takes her job way too serious and it bogs me down, but it is what it is I guess. Thanks everyone for the tips, I am just tired of jobs turning into crap on me after I worked so hard to get there.
     
  30. DonShula84

    DonShula84 Moderator Luxury Box

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    I feel your pain, though I dont have the responsibility of a family to add stress to my situation. I had a job I hated, every morning I woke up was painful and I spent a good portion of my nights thinking about how much I didnt want to go to work the next day. I quit one day and went back to school. Having just finished that I'm faced with the stress of again having to find a job, and I'm worried finding one I dont hate will be tough. I think I might just get a job that can pay my bills while I continue to search for something I enjoy.

    Life is miserable when you hate your job. I'd suggest at the least starting the search for a new job, or maybe talking to friends about the companies they work for and seeing if they cant you in if it's a better situation. Hope everything works out for you, and good luck in the job search. It's a miserable process but maybe we'll both get lucky this time around.
     
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  31. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    I dunno man maybe you just need to chill and stop letting whats her face beat you down. If you worked for it, make sure you don't leave because of her or anyone else, but because you want to..........
     
  32. texanphinatic

    texanphinatic Senior Member

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    Its always a tough situation to be in thats for sure. Im only 25, and no family (well, no kids, have a wife) and Im still trying to figure out what to do. Currently just have a retail job which is easy, and has great hours, but doesnt pay well and dealing with nasty customers is starting to wear me down. Ive had many jobs already despite my age, and always seem that after a few years I get worn down and dont enjoy it anymore.
    Part of it might be that I only have JOBS and not a career. But partially Im just not sure what I want to do. The wife is also looking for a job and working less to focus on it. Once she finds something Im gonna look around locally and hopefully can find something.
    My best advice is to find something that you find fulfilling. Start your job search now. Toss your resume out on monster or recruiting services and poke around. Check into companies that will have comparable benefits or even transfer them from the old job. Maybe your wife would be interested in working some and you watch the kids (assuming she doesnt already). That might allow you to take more time off and spend more time at home.
    And find something outside of work you really enjoy doing to take your mind off of it. I dont know how old your kids are, but try and get involved with something they like maybe? Be a sports team coach, do scouting, start a cool hobby together like building mini rockets, or just spending some time out in the yard playing around each day. Take some vacation time and get away. Try and pace yourself some.

    Im starting to ramble some I guess, so Ill wrap it up and just say that your not alone. Best thing iis to remember that if you get to the point where you cant take, it wont do anyone any good, so defuse the situation now, be it looking for (and finding) a new job, even if it pays less or doesnt have the same benefits, going to school, finding a sweet hobby etc. Dont let something that you dont enjoy dominate your life, find the joy that is still there and bring it to the front as much as you can. Good luck man!
     
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  33. Vampire Baby

    Vampire Baby New Member

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    No time for hobbies. Bite the bullet and take care of the family first and foremost.

    I'm getting the corporate squeeze again. Might be unemployed tomorrow.

    Focus on the important things. No need to please yourself.

    You'll be okay. Keep your job and look elsewhere .

    Put on the smile and earn your keep.

    You won't retire there so don't worry.

    Plenty of other things will come around.

    It really isn't so bad.
     

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