1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Need help!!!!

Discussion in 'Outreach Forum' started by Seeking Answers, Sep 8, 2010.

  1. Seeking Answers

    Seeking Answers New Member

    210
    386
    0
    Nov 1, 2008
    I suspect my 20 year old daughter of being a heroin addict. All the symptoms fit (mood swings, loss of job, stealing from family and friends, dilated (small) pupils, insomnia, and constant lying) I have not seen track marks, but it seems that she is going out of the way to hide her arms. I also know they can shoot up between their toes.

    I am at a loss, I feel confused and helpless. I want to help, but I do not believe she is ready to accept or admit there is a problem. My wife and I are in fear that she is going to steal more and more from us to support the habit.

    At her age we cannot force her into rehab, and kicking to the street will only make it worse. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
     
  2. SICK

    SICK Lounge Moderator

    72,648
    35,285
    113
    Nov 29, 2007
    Charlotte NC
    wow...i have no advice. but good luck. thats tough!
     
  3. Tone_E

    Tone_E Season Ticket Holder Club Member

    12,603
    4,892
    113
    Dec 8, 2007
    Firstly, I am sorry to hear about your situation/suspicion.

    You understand your situation well. You can't force rehab and the worst thing you can do is kick your daughter on the street.

    The first thing I would do is try to find the root reason as to why she became a user. It is typically due to depression, oppression, or just to escape a certain aspect of their life. This may sound serious, but lesser drugs like marijuana, cocaine, and alcohol are typical escapes for kids with moderate issues.

    The key is to understand, and to let your daughter know that first and foremost, you do understand, and you are compassionate. As much as human nature wants to lay blame, or apply guilt, that may drive your daughter to either leave the house herself, or begin using on a more regular basis.

    I think you have to confront her about your suspicions, but let it be clear to her that you fully support her and that she is not alone in her battle. I believe users understand they are in a battle, but it is tough to overcome alone. Your support will help her immensely.

    The next step is to seek professional help. I think this is inevitable. The mind is very fragile, especially on a drug as potent as heroine. Professional psychiatrists understand the thought processes and can better find the root cause and work towards a solution.

    This is a lot to consider, but my only advice to you is to be strong, support your daughter, and act quickly.

    Best of luck, we're here to help.
     
  4. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

    53,333
    23,006
    0
    Dec 7, 2007
    I would say actually the first step before you even confront her is to talk to a professional. They can talk to you about how exactly to confront her, as well as show you ways to probably make sure that this is in fact what she is doing. Contact someone bro, even if you have to look for it online. It sounds cliche but you are not alone. Either way stay strong. Good luck to you, thoughts and prayers.
     
  5. phinnhedd

    phinnhedd Reality.

    3,097
    1,212
    113
    Oct 10, 2008
    Port Saint Lucie, FL
    Dilated pupils means the black part of your eyes are larger than normal. Like a cat's eyes at night.
    [​IMG]
     
  6. Seeking Answers

    Seeking Answers New Member

    210
    386
    0
    Nov 1, 2008
    I should have said her eyes are constricted (almost like pin holes), forgive me I have a lot on my mind ATM, also when they are constricted, her eye lids are droopy (half closed)
     
  7. Bumrush

    Bumrush Stable Genius Club Member

    25,193
    25,340
    113
    Nov 25, 2007
    Why are you assuming this involves drugs?

    Those symptoms can also be a sign of mental illness or mental distress...

    Has she also lost weight?
     
  8. Ohiophinphan

    Ohiophinphan Chaplain Staff Member Luxury Box

    Getting a professional's help and guidance in how/when/what to confront your daughter is an excellent first step. Having a place to go for rehab is also important (and not easy in some ares) in case she agrees to enter.
     
    texanphinatic likes this.
  9. phinnhedd

    phinnhedd Reality.

    3,097
    1,212
    113
    Oct 10, 2008
    Port Saint Lucie, FL
    Could be prescription medication. Opiates.
     
    RickyBobby likes this.
  10. eric

    eric New Member

    3,278
    349
    0
    Oct 11, 2009
    get an at home drug test, you and your wife confront her about it. have your wife witness her taking the test. dont let her do it on her own, or take it somewhere else or even put it off for a day.


    i know a friend that has a 32 year old daughter. her and her 33 year old concaine hooked husband still live with her parents. they lie, they steal, even from their own immediate family. the huband doesnt work. the daughter makes 30k a year. they dont pay any rent and have had 2 car repo-ed in the last year because all her money goes up their noses, along with what ever additional money they steal from their family.

    nip that **** in the butt right now if there is a problem.
     
    BlameItOnTheHenne and Boik14 like this.
  11. anlgp

    anlgp ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

    That's a tough one. I'm not sure what I would do if faced in a similar situation. I think since it is mainly speculation at this point (unless you have caught her red handed) it is tough to call her out on drug use of any kind.

    Although I think your suspicions are probably correct about drug use/abuse that's a tough medium to create when trying to be parent and still maintain a relationship with your child.

    I would confront the behavior and not the suspected issue, and work your way from there. Although any heavy drug use of any kind is a time bomb for the worse possible scenario.. so.. urgency is necessary.
     
    SICK likes this.
  12. RickyBobby

    RickyBobby VIP DIY

    5,475
    1,448
    0
    Sep 22, 2009
    Palm beach
    You know your daughter and you know when she is acting diffrently. First you need to find out what or even if she is doing anything. There is nothing at all you can do before that. you cant help someone if you dont know what you are fighting.

    IDK how you need to get it out of her but you cannot let the **** slide, it only gets worse. You have to let her know that you are there for her. There is nothing scary than being hooked on a drug and having no way to get control of your life back. If you let her know that you are there for her eventually she will let you know. But she also has to want to get clean and sometimes the only way to do that is hit"rock bottom" I mean right now ashe can at least steal to get money. Nobody wants to be an addict but to her she might see that as her only option and her easiest. You must let her know that it is not and also that she could be that girl on the street trying to find a place to sleep. Nothing will change until she really wants to change her lif. Not only change your consumption of drugs but she has to change her life. Who she is and what she lives for.

    Either way she would have to do some type of detox either in house at a rehad or by just going to a detox center and getting meds to help with the withdraws. If you BOTH decide thatj you want too do detox at home and your own rehab then she has to be disaplined and you must keep her disaplined. I mean on her *** for the first few months. She is going to hate it but eventually she can earn your trust but not until your ready.

    You must understand this is a long process, detox is just the beginning. Then she has to get used to being sober and that is not an easy thing to do. After that she is going to need to find a purpose in her life and I dont mean like her life purpose or anything religous but she has to have goals. If she is addicted to drugs her life has been nothing but getting high and finding her next fix. She has to get used to waking up doing work staying busy. Not only will it help her pass time and stay busy but it will get her used to "real" life.

    Whatever the outcome I wish you and your family the best. This is hard to overcome but the best helping hand she could have to help her is her family.

    Honesty, honesty, honesty- nothing works without it
     
  13. Boik14

    Boik14 Admin Club Member

    72,522
    32,817
    113
    Nov 28, 2007
    New York
    I am sorry to hear about your situation. I couldn't imagine if anyone close to me ever had a serious problem like that, that'd probably hurt me pretty deep. I kinda know how I'd react especially if someone was stealing from me. All bets are off after that. Do what you gotta do. Youre her parent, your first concern should be her health even if she doesnt realize it. Id put the kid in a strait jacket if I had to....whatever it takes. Consult a professional first as other said but beyond that, do what you have to do. She's still a young girl and obviously this is one of those mistakes you probably spoke to her about once upon a time.

    Keep us updated and I hope for the best.
     
  14. GreysonWinfield

    GreysonWinfield Release The Hounds

    3,982
    1,434
    113
    Nov 1, 2009
    I hope you get to the root of the problem and its not drugs or anything serious. Heroin can be snorted not just shot and there are so many prescriptions such as Oxycontin (hillbilly heroin) that show the same affects and are just as addictive and dangerous. Seek advice from an expert before you do anything. My best to you & your family.

    Marc
     
    Boik14 likes this.
  15. Miguel

    Miguel The smartest Man on earth



    First off Im sorry for what you are going through It is a tough situation. You Might want to confront her if you see the signs chances are other people see them you might want to get in contact with her friends and maybe do an intervention? I think that might be your best bet. Dont kick her out that will make matters Worse Just get in contact with her friends.

    I Hope this helped

    Mike
     
  16. Seeking Answers

    Seeking Answers New Member

    210
    386
    0
    Nov 1, 2008
    Update for everyone, yesterday everything was revealed, my daughter and her boyfriend were arrested for B&E and my daughter was caught with 7 balloons of Heroin. Guess I don’t have to wonder anymore.
     
  17. SICK

    SICK Lounge Moderator

    72,648
    35,285
    113
    Nov 29, 2007
    Charlotte NC
    yikes!!!!! hopefully this cleans them up.......man ill pray for you....
     
  18. Seeking Answers

    Seeking Answers New Member

    210
    386
    0
    Nov 1, 2008
    My daughter anyways, this so called boyfriend ran when the police showed up, leaving my daughter to face them. He did get caught, but what kind of man does that.......thatss it they don't, I wish I was still in South florida, theres a lot of swamps if you know what I mean.
     
    RickyBobby likes this.
  19. Bumrush

    Bumrush Stable Genius Club Member

    25,193
    25,340
    113
    Nov 25, 2007
    Well - The BF is a coward but not your problem. She must come to terms with her issues that caused her to engage in this lifestyle with this type of person.. You could drown him in a swamp, but for all you know the next guy may be worse.. Can you force her to rehab? Do you think the judge in the case can forgo jail time in favor of a treatment facility?
     
    Boik14 likes this.
  20. Seeking Answers

    Seeking Answers New Member

    210
    386
    0
    Nov 1, 2008
    As for the BF, that would be for my satisfaction only. I know my daughter needs to start making the right choices, and only she can do that. As for rehab I have no idea, we are hoping that they DA will offer a deal if she testifies against the BF on the B&E charges and give her a reduced sentence. I am no lawyer and not even sure if this is possible.
     
  21. Boik14

    Boik14 Admin Club Member

    72,522
    32,817
    113
    Nov 28, 2007
    New York
    In a way its a good thing she got caught before something worse happened to her. The BF isnt your problem and I would pay him no mind. Hope everything works out for the best.
     
  22. Ohiophinphan

    Ohiophinphan Chaplain Staff Member Luxury Box

    I have been out of town a few days and just got home and saw this. My prayers and best wishes go out to you. Like others, I hope you can get your daughter the help she needs through the criminal justice system.
     
  23. RickyBobby

    RickyBobby VIP DIY

    5,475
    1,448
    0
    Sep 22, 2009
    Palm beach
    sorry to hear this but she needs to use this as an end and a new beginning. Best wishes, i know exactly what you are going through. Stay tough
     
  24. Seeking Answers

    Seeking Answers New Member

    210
    386
    0
    Nov 1, 2008
    UPDATE* They do not have enough to get my daughter on B&E, and she should get probation for the heroin. We have taken our grand daughter for now and are faced with having to move into a bigger place to keep her. When it rains it pours I guess.
     
  25. Ohiophinphan

    Ohiophinphan Chaplain Staff Member Luxury Box

    Your grand daughter will now know safety and sacrificial love. That will be a good thing in the long run. Blessings to you
     
  26. Boik14

    Boik14 Admin Club Member

    72,522
    32,817
    113
    Nov 28, 2007
    New York
    Keep your head up bro. You have to be a pillar of strength in times like these. Your friends here support you. :hi5:
     

Share This Page