A drunk goes out one night and ties one on. Unfortunately, he has one too many and proceeds to barf all over his shirt. "Great, now what do I do?" he laments to the bartender. The bartender responds, "look, here's what I tell my customers. Take a ten-dollar bill and put it in your shirt pocket. When you go home, tell your wife that some guy threw up on you and gave you ten bucks to pay for the dry cleaning." The drunk, feeling confident, does that, and goes home. The next morning, his wife is doing the laundry, sees the shirt and asks, "what happened? You didn't get drunk again, did you?" The drunk responds, "Oh, no, I just had a beer or two. Some guy had a few too many and threw up all over my shirt. He left me $10 for the dry cleaning." "But there's $20 in here." "Oh, right. He also s**t in my pants."