1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Pray for a friend of mine having a mid-life crisis

Discussion in 'Outreach Forum' started by Agua, Sep 23, 2009.

  1. Agua

    Agua Reality: Try It!

    5,257
    1,725
    113
    Apr 28, 2008
    I've got a friend of nearly 30 years, married for 20 years, who has decided that having an affair with a co-worker is a good idea. His wife is heartbroken but so far, sticking with him in the hope that he'll come to his senses. I've told her time is on her side in the event that he'll ultimately wake up, but understandably, I don't know how long she can hold up. Its purely a stupid fling for a 45 year old man who, unless something changes, will look back on this in 2-3 years' time and say "WTF was I thinking?".

    I took a confrontational approach with him, knowing it wouldn't do any good, but felt he needed to hear reality slapping him in the face. As I would probably do in that situation, he listened to it for about 3 minutes then hung up.

    Dear God, please heal the union of this couple and open my friend's eyes to the faults of this other woman so that he may see the destructive folly of his ways. Please comfort the wife and, if it is your will, strengthen her to deal with this situation in a level headed way.
     
    GISH, like2god, jetssuck and 3 others like this.
  2. opfinistic

    opfinistic Braaaaains!

    30,659
    14,683
    0
    Dec 7, 2007
    Peeking in Nabo's Basement
    :pity: Infidelity....barely anyone takes their vows seriously anymore.
     
    sking29 and Agua like this.
  3. dolphindebby

    dolphindebby Season Ticket Holder Luxury Box

    14,752
    4,873
    0
    Nov 26, 2007
    GA
    A sad situation aqua.
    He is lucky to have a friend like you. I hope he comes to realize that before it's to late.
    I glad his wife is strong. I would have just castrated my husband, then asked questions.
    I hate adultry, it's the lowest form of humiliation to a spouse.
    If your not happy, get a divorce and let the spouse be free.

    Sorry, this is a sore subject with me. I've seen to many of my friends totally devastated by this stuff.

    My prayers will be with them and you as you try to help aqua.
     
    sking29, Agua and opfinistic like this.
  4. opfinistic

    opfinistic Braaaaains!

    30,659
    14,683
    0
    Dec 7, 2007
    Peeking in Nabo's Basement
    What if you were wrong? I ask that half jesting because my wife is of a similar mind.
     
  5. Agua

    Agua Reality: Try It!

    5,257
    1,725
    113
    Apr 28, 2008
    Ya know, the worst part of it is the infidelity, but its compounded by his stupidity in being unable to recognize it for what it is - a stupid mistake. The wife has told him to get his things and leave, but he won't leave the home and wants to continue screwing this chick saying "I don't know if I love her or not". Complete dumb !@#

    Asking for prayers here and from friends is the end of my involvement in it aside from giving support to the wife.

    As with all things, its really in God's hands.
     
    Ohiophinphan and dolphindebby like this.
  6. Agua

    Agua Reality: Try It!

    5,257
    1,725
    113
    Apr 28, 2008
    That's why its so obvious what is going on: they WERE / ARE happy. Didn't fight, took fantastic vacations all over the world courtesy of her job ... just a fun, happy couple. I've known him, well basically all my adult life and he's just a slightly impulsive person - picking up and moving from one city to another based upon where he thought would be a cool place to live. Always held a good job, though - both of them.

    But yes, they have been best buds the entirety of his marriage and he's just gotten confused with this stupid thing of his, which makes it so, so stupid to continue on with it when his wife is wanting so desparately for it to be over.
     
  7. dolphindebby

    dolphindebby Season Ticket Holder Luxury Box

    14,752
    4,873
    0
    Nov 26, 2007
    GA
    Oh well! Atleast I'd never have to worry about him even thinking about cheating would I?
    If it isn't mine, it'll be no one elses. Plus, I'd make him leave to boot.
     
    Agua likes this.
  8. dolphindebby

    dolphindebby Season Ticket Holder Luxury Box

    14,752
    4,873
    0
    Nov 26, 2007
    GA
    I guess that's what gets me the most. Men and women who cheat always look for something better. Never realizing they probably have the best at home. And I don't care what anyone says IF you love some one you do nothing to deliberately hurt them or your family.
    There's enough pain in the world without going out and making things worse.
    If he's not happy, or thinks it, he needs to go on and let her make a new life for herself.
     
    sking29 and Agua like this.
  9. opfinistic

    opfinistic Braaaaains!

    30,659
    14,683
    0
    Dec 7, 2007
    Peeking in Nabo's Basement
    Kick him to the curb with no junk left? :pity: Damn!
     
    dolphindebby and Agua like this.
  10. dolphindebby

    dolphindebby Season Ticket Holder Luxury Box

    14,752
    4,873
    0
    Nov 26, 2007
    GA
    If he wants to spread his junk around, then yep. When he married me his junk became mine and mine his, so NO sharing. :yes:
     
    opfinistic likes this.
  11. opfinistic

    opfinistic Braaaaains!

    30,659
    14,683
    0
    Dec 7, 2007
    Peeking in Nabo's Basement
    Amazing! Those vows were spoken at my wedding too!

    ...................In sickness and in health,
    Your junk shall exclusively be her junk and her junk shall exclusively be yours
    Unless you both agree on a cute little waitress to bring home.

    Can I get a 'Hell yeah?'
     
  12. dolphindebby

    dolphindebby Season Ticket Holder Luxury Box

    14,752
    4,873
    0
    Nov 26, 2007
    GA
    NO!:wink2:
     
    opfinistic likes this.
  13. Ohiophinphan

    Ohiophinphan Chaplain Staff Member Luxury Box

    You have my prayers for the couple and indeed for you as well. It took a lot of guts and a very strong friendship to give the guy reality and not just the affirmation he wanted. Confronting in love is a very difficult skill and for myself, I want to thank you for having the intestinal fortitude to do it!
     
    Agua and dolphindebby like this.
  14. Agua

    Agua Reality: Try It!

    5,257
    1,725
    113
    Apr 28, 2008
    Just pray for 'em.

    - re - confrontation - Not really that tough with this friend. We've always had one of those relationships where hurling the occasional rude but honest insult was part of the gig.
     
  15. Sethdaddy8

    Sethdaddy8 Well-Known Member

    13,006
    6,368
    113
    Dec 6, 2007
    NJ
    i cant really understand whats going on. he's only 45, and he's having an affair on his wife of 20 years. and he's doing it openly and obviously in her face, and he wont stop despite his wife knowing/asking? and he wont leave either? how...what planet is this happening on??? it doesnt compute.

    he mustn't love his wife anymore? maybe he wont leave cause of greed or money involved with separating? this is one of the most selfish things i've ever heard of. what a mean thing to do to your wife of 20 years. she may need to get the law involved

    it still doesnt add up. maybe they have some dark secrets between them, to spawn his actions? maybe she's dished out some serious damage over the years too, that you're unaware of? perhaps that your friend was ashamed to admit? unprovoked, it just seems impossible for a man to act this way.
     
  16. Ohiophinphan

    Ohiophinphan Chaplain Staff Member Luxury Box

    Whilke I agree with you as to the selfishness and wierdness of the man's action, in my experiance as a counselor this doesn't even get a dishonarable mention in the wierd lifestyle category. There are a lot of sick, selfish, folks out there!
     
    dolphindebby likes this.
  17. Agua

    Agua Reality: Try It!

    5,257
    1,725
    113
    Apr 28, 2008
    No, he loves his wife. Yes, it is an unbelievably selfish thing. He tells his wife he's not "in love" with her and there is no "spark". I had to laugh when she told me this. A very immature outlook - sounds like some high schooler's expectations. He's smarter than that; at least I thought he was.

    I'd asked her if there were some big life goal disagreements between them such as differences concerning children, money, retirement, travel, ... She said no - just completely out of the blue. So I don't know.
     
    like2god likes this.
  18. dolphindebby

    dolphindebby Season Ticket Holder Luxury Box

    14,752
    4,873
    0
    Nov 26, 2007
    GA
    I don't know this guy or his wife, but I do know this stinks for her.

    I'm reminded of the old adage, the grass is always greener thing.

    I've heard friends say: "It doesn't mean anything.", "I still love you," and my favorite, "It just happened". To me it's all bull. You don't cheat if you truly love someone. I feel most want the best of both worlds. They try to keep the spouse happy, so if the affair doesn't work, they still have home to come to.
    IMO, nothing like that just happens. They plan and scheme not to get caught and when they do, it's never their fault.

    Adultery is one of the cruelest forms of abuse to me and the person doing it should be held accountable for their actions.
     
  19. like2god

    like2god Typical white person Luxury Box

    19,529
    9,219
    113
    Nov 22, 2007
    CNY
    You have my prayers that this guy wakes up to reality and understands what a dick he's being to the woman who has stood by him for 20 years.
     
    Agua likes this.

Share This Page