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Question on Kid Drama & Social Media

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by KeyFin, Nov 27, 2017.

  1. KeyFin

    KeyFin Well-Known Member

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    My 16 year old's lifelong "best friend" from church turned on her recently over typical teenage girl drama- the friend's name is Cheyenne, my daughter is Victoria. Oh, and Victoria is my younger daughter...she's not the 18 year old with Borderline Personality disorder. Victoria is the cool, level headed, basically perfect kid who rarely does anything wrong.

    Anyway, Cheyenne got mad at an additional friend and demanded that my daughter stop talking to her...and Victoria said that she was staying out of it since she liked everybody. This made Cheyenne really mad and she said that she hated Victoria now too. Again, typical teenage drama crap...no big deal.

    However, teens these days are addicted to social media and now Cheyenne is bashing Victoria and the other girl hardcore on Twitter, Pinterest, etc. She's gone to the lengths of making fake accounts and messaging all these girls other friends talking crap about them and saying how horrible they are....which is again, typical 2017 teenage crap. And now my kid is talking about this 24/7 because all her friends from school are asking her about it. It's been 5 weeks now and Cheyenne doesn't seem to be losing any steam.

    So I thought, okay, this is online bullying and it's against the law...I'll just call the girl's mom, threaten to contact the police and it will be over. But the mom won't take our calls, and now the mother is talking smack about my kid on social media....and so is Cheyenne's grandmother! They're making little GIF's with my kid's picture with the title "Fake Friends" or a Bible verse making her out to be evil, and I'm really starting to get pissed off about it.

    Of course, my 16 year old is begging me not to post anything on social media or to message the parents, and Cheyenne is home schooled so I can't contact her school officials either. But what do I do to make this stop without escalating it?

    From what I can tell, Cheyenne is basically a good kid but also a loser with no friends at all, and she seems to be taking this really hard that she couldn't boss my kid around. Every kid these days also talks about suicide because that's just what they do in modern culture...so I don't want to be ugly and make her even more unstable. But at the same time, she's not going to bully my kid anymore- my family always comes before everyone else's family. Besides Dolphins football, that's basically my only other absolute in life.

    So I thought it might be a cool topic to discuss as I decide what to do and how extreme to go in ending this with some childish parents.
     
  2. cuchulainn

    cuchulainn Táin Bó Cúailnge Club Member

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    @KeyFin

    I think the key to resolving this is in your opening sentence. If you all go to Church together, then take it your Preacher, Priest, President, Cult Leader, or whoever is in charge and discuss it privately for feedback, then have them get all parties together for an amicable resolution.

    All the social media apps do is de-personify things. Talking face to face usually is the best method.

    JM2C.
     
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  3. KeyFin

    KeyFin Well-Known Member

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    That's what I would personally do, but I don't go to church there. Long story short, my wife's grandfather was the preacher at that church and it's where my wife/kids have always gone. Her grandfather passed a number of years ago and there's a new preacher (LOL @ cult leader, by the way), but it's still pretty much a family church where gossip thrives. I don't think my wife would be comfortable doing that because it would essentially spread through the whole congregation like wildfire. But maybe not...I'll ask her.
     
  4. cuchulainn

    cuchulainn Táin Bó Cúailnge Club Member

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    Was kidding about Cult Leader, but you never know. lol...

    Completely understand the gossip thriving thing. Gossip and jealously always seems to whenever you bring people together from different social, economic, education, and other various backgrounds together. Throw in some teenage angst and pettiness, and it blows up.

    If the preacher is worth his salt, he or his youth minister, etc... will be able to help resolve the situation and if it is a small family type church, it should make it even easier. Good church leaders are generally well intentioned and might be able to help make the kids sit down together and talk it out. They can pray or whatever, have a cry and move on.

    Hope it works out for you.
     
    KeyFin likes this.
  5. Aqua4Ever04

    Aqua4Ever04 Write Travis Write Club Member

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    I can't imagine raising a kid in our modern climate. I obviously have no experience with this particular type of bullying, but I share my work over multiple online platforms, and there are always a few people that are just mean for the sake of being mean. Like insults to the core mean.

    The best way to combat it, for me, has been just neglecting it. I realize this might not be an option for your daughter as she is around it in school every day. But I'm a pretty big believer that that's the best way to get harassment to end.
     
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  6. Fin D

    Fin D Sigh Club Member

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    Social media is an amplifier, not the actual problem.

    Teens did this with notes, phones, lunch seats, alliances, etc before social media. Social media just does it bigger and easier.

    Cheyenne is the problem. She needs to be dealt with as such and on "in person" manner. If not, nothing will change.
     
  7. KeyFin

    KeyFin Well-Known Member

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    Part of the problem is that so much gets lost in emojis, texts, etc. and kids these days don't know how to talk things out. When someone disagrees with them, it's like they aren't equipped to handle it anymore and some of them go bonkers.

    My wife is going to talk to Cheyenne's mom this morning and then going to the church pastor. Evidently several of the other church youth started getting texts about my kid last night, so we're hoping to end it today without any additional drama.
     
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  8. KeyFin

    KeyFin Well-Known Member

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    For you as a writer, here are a few things to keep in mind-

    - Anytime you like or reply to a comment, the site that the comment is on takes that as a POSITIVE action and makes that comment more visible. So if I cuss you out and you and five others reply, "You're an a-hole," that app thinks my comment is the most important conversation and moves it to the top of the list. The more people who chime in, the worse it is for you...so don't comment on negative stuff!

    - On the other hand, Google throws a lot of weight in the natural search rankings for comments these days. So you always want to encourage comments on your work and reply to/like every positive comment you can. Google still has their Authorship program as well that ranks writers on the internet for popularity, which means what you write on one site will help you down the road if people seem to like your style. That's a HUGE DEAL when it comes to getting writing work because people hiring you know that your articles will rank well in search. By the way, Google Authorship is now private.....Google doesn't share these rankings with the public.

    - I've caught at least a single typo in three or four of your last articles, and as a fellow writer that drives me nuts (although I overlook my own typos sometimes too...we all do). As soon as most of your readers see a typo though, they automatically assume that the site is low quality and you have no idea of what you're talking about. It's BS....but it's also a very good reason to work with an editor (even if that editor has to be your dad or a friend). You'll miss a lot of your own typos because you already know what the text is supposed to say.

    - Finally, you want to set up a Google+ account and link to all your work online, sort of like a portfolio. That makes it easier for Google to track you as a brand, which is something you'll need down the road. I'm sure you're already sharing to Facebook/Twitter, and you might want to share all your GIF's on an Instagram type of site as well. Your name is a business these days in the writing world, so you have to think about branding every time you post something to gain maximum effect.
     
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  9. Ohio Fanatic

    Ohio Fanatic 30 years and counting Club Member

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    Sinking to their level won't accomplish anything. Trashy behaviour comes from trashy people. If the mother and grandmother are acting in such a fashion, they certainly will never correct the teenager. I have a teenager and have seen this multiple times. If the social media posts cross the line (I had one kid telling my teenager who suffers from depression - to commit suicide) - so I called the police. If the posts are just obnoxious, your kid needs to just block them.
     
  10. Aqua4Ever04

    Aqua4Ever04 Write Travis Write Club Member

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    The typo this is tough. I'm not great grammatically, and I agree with you that it's a problem. I hate editing. And since I pump out four podcasts a week, two columns a week and work 40 hours, I'm stretched pretty thin as it is.

    I have sent some of my work to FinD in the past. He's an awesome editor.
     
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  11. Fin D

    Fin D Sigh Club Member

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    Did you get https://www.grammarly.com yet you jack ***?
     
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  12. KeyFin

    KeyFin Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, just find anyone that's going to critically read your stuff and build a small circle of writing friends. Sometimes I'll ask my 83 year old dad since he somehow spots everything. Sometimes I'll ask another writer that I've worked with. Heck, sometimes I ask Victoria....which makes her mad and then she comes to me with attitude because I spelled "zebra" or something simple wrong and she caught it. And sometimes I'll just email a buddy and ask for a quick read.

    If it's something you're proud of though, definitely get it in someone else's hands before it goes live on your website. And strangely enough, the less they care about the content, the easier they'll spot typos.

    Oh, and I feel you on the long hours plus working a regular job....I started the same way and I still work huge hours at times. The best writing advice I can give anyone is to write as much as possible, so you need to get yourself a proper writing job if that's not what you're doing already. The magic is in the repetition.

    Here's are two courses I knocked out for the site iWriter last year, maybe you'll find some nuggets in there that will help.

    And hey, feel free to contact me if you need any advice or guidance. I've never been much of a bragger but you probably won't meet a more successful freelance writer in your life- I've been incredibly fortunate over the past decade.
     
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2017
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  13. KeyFin

    KeyFin Well-Known Member

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    I appreciate the advice- my kid did block her across everything, but now the other girl is making fake accounts and messaging her from them. I mean, the girl isn't posting horrible stuff...it's just the length she's going to in volume and how many other people she's trying to drag into it. She messaged an 11 year old cousin this morning, for example, saying how mean Victoria is....and the cousin immediately stood up for my kid. It's just drama overload.

    My wife is going to try the parents this afternoon so I have my fingers crossed. The dad wants to be a preacher and he used to have a crush on my wife (they grew up together in the church), so I'm pretty sure he will step in quickly. We just haven't been able to contact them by phone/social yet.
     
  14. Ohio Fanatic

    Ohio Fanatic 30 years and counting Club Member

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    yeah, sounds very familiar. The kid who was harassing my kid also generated fake accounts to contact my kid. kids that are that young struggle with boundaries and completely ignore them when they are upset/emotionally charged. I told my teenager the same thing when the other idiot kid was harassing people close to my kid - your friends will stick up for you because you're a good kid. It eventually went away.
     
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