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Random thoughts

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by wpgfishfan, Aug 29, 2010.

  1. wpgfishfan

    wpgfishfan Member

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    Nov 26, 2007
    Winnipeg, Manitoba
    received in an email, thought id share.....its long but worth the read




    I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

    More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can
    think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my
    own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

    Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
    realize you're wrong.

    I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to
    drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and
    sticks when they've invented the lighter?

    Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that
    you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to
    be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the
    direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check
    your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to
    ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly
    switching directions on the sidewalk.

    I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I
    was younger.

    The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard.
    This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be
    ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

    Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it
    wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would
    magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all
    know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or
    FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

    There is a great need for sarcasm font.

    Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger
    and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f*** was going on when I first
    saw it.

    I think everyone has a movie that they love so much; it actually
    becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90
    minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the
    right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a
    millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really
    gets it.

    How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

    I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand
    than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

    I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately
    clear your computer history if you die.

    The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to
    finish a text.

    A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to
    the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

    Was learning cursive really necessary?

    Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing
    else to say".

    I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and
    hunger.

    Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a
    Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

    My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the
    Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I
    inquired about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us."
    Classy, bro.

    Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart",
    all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

    How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just
    nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

    I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams
    up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

    While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
    instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

    MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty
    sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

    Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how
    the person died.

    I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in
    the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

    Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get
    dirty, and you can wear them forever.

    I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

    Bad decisions make good stories

    Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their
    profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the
    Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

    Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier
    every year?

    If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring
    would probably just be completely invisible.

    Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to
    go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly
    nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from; this shouldn't be a
    problem....

    You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at
    work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything
    productive for the rest of the day.

    Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I
    don't want to have to restart my collection.

    There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you
    are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

    I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks
    me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear
    I did not make any changes to.

    "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this
    ever.

    I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people
    watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they
    judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching
    this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room.
    Will we still be friends after this?'

    While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for
    China and USA. No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that
    when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.

    I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
    Darnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to
    voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

    I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not
    seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

    When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she
    hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet
    stalking.

    I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on
    shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

    Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising
    speed for pedophiles...

    As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate
    drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate
    cyclists.

    Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and
    still not know what time it is.
    It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

    I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not
    to answer when they call.

    I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a
    kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from
    the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.

    Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what
    do to with it.

    Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their
    car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the
    Donkey - but I'd bet my a$$ everyone can find and push the Snooze button
    from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every
    time...

    My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what
    would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

    It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com
    and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
    I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone
    they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

    I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

    I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
    Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

    The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag,
    saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words,
    someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it,
    and then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to
    require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's
    nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.
    __________________
     
  2. arsenal

    arsenal Sunglasses and advil

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    Nov 26, 2007
    Commack, NY
    Haha love it, so many so true and hilarious

    Sent from Evo 4G
     
  3. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=-

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    Nov 13, 2009
    Bump
     
  4. Jt0323

    Jt0323 Fins Up! Luxury Box

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    Dec 7, 2007
    Las Vegas
    I miss mindwarp! <3
     
    eltos_lightfoot likes this.
  5. Nappy Roots

    Nappy Roots Well-Known Member

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    Dec 3, 2007
    Bradenton,FL
    I miss the 4 caulksmen
     
    Jt0323 likes this.
  6. Jt0323

    Jt0323 Fins Up! Luxury Box

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    Las Vegas
    I created their banner!
    [​IMG]
     
    Nappy Roots likes this.
  7. Nappy Roots

    Nappy Roots Well-Known Member

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    Dec 3, 2007
    Bradenton,FL
    omg. what great times we had there....that website made me the man I am today
     
  8. GridIronKing34

    GridIronKing34 Silently Judging You

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    Nov 22, 2007
    Denver, CO
    Who made up that group? I forget...
     
  9. Nappy Roots

    Nappy Roots Well-Known Member

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    Dec 3, 2007
    Bradenton,FL
    I don't know if it was DDay or not.
     

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