Another week, another loss. At this point, what’s the big deal right? I mean if a criminal is in for life, what is a few more years tacked on to his sentence? Considering that this team has won one game out of its last 21 games. It could be worse. We could be the Kansas City Chiefs. How is that worse you ask? Because the Herman Edwards led team is 0 for its last 11 games. Even WE have won ONE game in the past 11. Heck, we have won a game in our last FIVE games. So suck it Chiefs fans, you guys are officially the worst team in the NFL. Of course, in a way, that might be even more depressing right? I mean, we can't even be the best at being the worst? Now THAT is pathetic. And this week, we take our pathetic team to Foxboro to face off against the defending AFC Champion, New England Patriots. Riddled with key injuries, allegations of cheating and a general douchey-ness factor, the wounded Patriots still provide a formidable challenge to our beloved bunch of lovable losers. Will Miami win? Probably not. But that is a terrible way to end a column so lets play make believe as I present to all of you: THE GAMEPLAN BROKEN RECORD BLUES Apparently, all that talk about being a run first, smash mouth football team was nothing more than a clever ploy by our genius coach. Sparano and Co. had everyone fooled in the off season when they showed confidence and competence in the running game. But somewhere along the way to the stadium in between week 4 of the preseason and week 1 of the regular season, Chad Pennington and Ten Ginn Jr. must have hitched a ride in Sparano's whip and convinced him to make the necessary changes to a pass happy, completion hating offensive offense. That is the only explanation I can think of as to why Ronnie Brown hasn't been receiving the ball. Through two games, Ronnie has only been given the ball 22 times total. That includes the passing game as well. Quite frankly, that is atrocious. That averages out to 11 touches a game. Ronnie averaged over 22 total touches a game through 7 games last year. I have said it before and will say it again: GIVE RONNIE THE ****ING BALL! And just in case Sparano and Co. prefer the visual type of learning, I have that covered as well: KING OF HIS CASSEL As we all know by now (especially us fantasy owners who were screwed...), Tom Brady's season is done. Trying to fill his very big shoes, is Matt "So that’s what its like to start a game" Cassel. So what has the inexperienced QB done in Brady's absence? Only completed over 70% of his passes, with no picks, a TD and a ratings of 101.4. Of course. Despite his early success, Cassel HAS been sacked and hit a lot through the first two games and he is bound to have a shaky game or two along the way The key for this defense against Cassel will be to give him different looks throughout the game and try to take away the underneath routes to his early favorite target, Wes Welker. In fact, Cassel has only completed five passes to wide receivers NOT named Welker. Which brings me to my next topic... Defensive Strategery It didn't take long for the Cardinals to break through our super sneaky secret plan to cover Boldin with Akin Ayodele. That was painful to watch. And hopefully we will only have the one memory to haunt us. Because if history repeats itself, I may go crazy. Not Michael Dougles in "Falling Down" crazy, but at least Jack Nicholson in "The Shining" crazy. In the spirit of the recently passed Summer Olympics Games, allow me to put this another way. If covering Anquan Boldin with Akin Ayodele was like watching Usain Bolt smoke everyone in the 100 metre dash, than trying to do the same with Randy Moss would look like, well...Usain Bolt smoking everyone in the 100 metre dash...at the Special Olympics. Use Ayodele to blitz. Use him to stuff the run. Heck, even use him to cover backs and tight ends. But for the love of Don Shula, DO NOT USE HIM TO COVER THE WIDE RECEIVERS! Paul P. I am talking to you... So there it is Miami. I implore you to listen to me. For the first two weeks, you ignored me and tried to do it on your own. So far, that has gotten us two losses, an argument over whether or not Darius Rucker is, in fact, Hootie (screw Stitches he totally is), and unhappy fans. It has already boiled over and even the most optimistic fans are starting to doubt their loyalty. Will you hurt them even more? Or will you send them into the bye week as happy as this here bear?