1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Samphin's Week 4 Manifesto: Bye Week Edition

Discussion in 'Trophy Case' started by Samphin, Sep 26, 2008.

  1. Samphin

    Samphin Κακό σκυλί ψόφο δεν έχει

    One could argue that Miami took their bye week in week two. However, the sad truth was, they were, in fact, on the field against the Arizona Cardinals. The true bye week, or as I like to call it,

    Most. Boringest. Week. Evar.

    commences this week after a huge, uplifting win against the Patriots in New England. Granted, No Brady, no Maroney and no camera, but a huge win nonetheless.

    But even though our beloved fins take the week off, the Manifesto keeps plugging away. Yes, like the Energizer Bunny...or herpes...or the Energuzer Bunny WITH herpes, the Manifesto keeps appearing on the bottom lip of www.thephins.com and no matter how many ointments you put on it...it continues to pop up at the most inopportune times.


    So with that disturbing imagery out of the way, you may be on the verge of asking me, "But Samphin? How can you do a MAnifesto when everyone is off this week?" Easy, says I!

    I simply change the ****ing format of the article.

    Instead of giving a vague and generic gameplan of what we should be doing against our current opponenet, I plan on focusing on individual Dolphins players and how they should be spending their bye week to maximize their efforts on, and off the field.

    So with that, I present to you:

    The Bye Week Gameplan


    Tony Sparano
    Bro, I love ya because you aren't named Saban, Wannstedt or Cameron, but I NEED you to grow at least a foot to normal height. Does anyone else get beet red when the camera goes to the sideline for a coach reaction shot, only to have to quickly pan down in order to see the fidget of a coach?

    I mean, its okay to be short, but when your players douse you with Gatorade...from their knees, it tends to err on the side of ridiculous. The guy looks like he should be singing to Dorothy after she killed that uggo of a witch.


    Brandon Fields

    Brandon Fields really has only one job. Kick the ball high and deep. He does that job very well. However, I am concerned about the obvious split personality the guy has. He should spend this bye week coming to grips with the fact that he is, in fact, the fat kid from Stand By Me.

    Hey Jerry, I mean "Brandon." There is no shame in being a bad second rate actor. I mean, who DIDN'T watch Sliders? (answer: everybody). And Tomcats is one of the best movies of 2002. We all know its you Jerry. This is the worst kept secret since I found out Clay Aiken was...a substitute teacher.

    I don't know what is worse, the fact that you think we DON'T know its you, or that I know every thing ever done by Jerry O'Connell (including Joe's Apartment and Rebecca Romijn-Stamos-O'Connell).


    Ricky Williams

    Try not smoking illicit drugs. In fact, don't even eat any type of smoked turkey, ham or other meat products.


    Joey Porter

    Shut your ****ing mouth! You arrogant idiot. You always talk trash, yet you NEVER back it up!

    ...Wait, what?

    Three sacks, a forced fumble and Defensive Player of the Week?


    Nevermind then. Continue talking smack, attacking Levi Jones in Vegas and getting shot in the buttocks. Heck, if it is working for ya and you REALLY want to up your totals, call Matt Cassel at home and leave him harassing voicemails on his machine in your best Dave-Chappelle-as-Rick-James voice.


    Jeff Ireland/Bill Parcells

    Continue scouring the waiver wires/trade demands and free agent lists to try and find a legit wide receiver. Granted, Ginn and Co. looked halfway decent against New England, but really, against that defense, it looks like Usain Bolt running in the Special Olym....oh wait...I used that joke already.

    Nevertheless, we need a playmaker. A game changer. Typicaly, those guys are locked up on teams around the league and impossible to get. But lucky for us, I have heard that THIS guy is available:


    So there you have it folks. What some of our key people SHOULD be doing with ther downtime here on the Bye week. Hopefully they listen to me. Scientific fac has shown that when Miami does what I tell them too...they win.

    Or at least win a fight they start in the game on account of them losing...

    Until next time.
  2. ManicMiner

    ManicMiner Season Ticket Holder Club Member

    Mar 22, 2008
    Gotta love the Sparano pic. Genius!
    Samphin likes this.
  3. azfinfanmang

    azfinfanmang Premium Member Luxury Box

    Nov 23, 2007
    Samphin likes this.
  4. brandon27

    brandon27 Season Ticket Holder Club Member

    Dec 3, 2007
    Windsor, ON. CANADA
    :sidelol: good stuff bro!
    Samphin likes this.
  5. HardKoreXXX

    HardKoreXXX Insensitive to the Touch

    Apr 2, 2008
    Coral Springs, FL
    Funniest one yet. You may have a future in this kind of stuff Mr. Phin.
    Samphin likes this.
  6. Samphin

    Samphin Κακό σκυλί ψόφο δεν έχει

    I don't know. The Week 3 Manifesto with the Usain Bolt picture was pretty funny and popular.

    Perhaps SECOND funniest one yet...

    It certainly beats the rubbish of the first two weeks. :hi5:
  7. HULKFish

    HULKFish Artist and Scribe

    Apr 30, 2008
    Central FL
    Only one thing I can say... BRILLIANT!
    Samphin likes this.
  8. HardKoreXXX

    HardKoreXXX Insensitive to the Touch

    Apr 2, 2008
    Coral Springs, FL
    The Sparano Munchkin (sp?) photo did it for me. The Bolt one was great, but any reference to the Lolli Pop Guild = Epic Win IMO.
    Samphin likes this.
  9. cnc66

    cnc66 wiley veteran, bad spelur Luxury Box

    Nov 23, 2007
    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_CAs3q7G48]YouTube - Lollipop Guild[/ame]
  10. TheAnswer385

    TheAnswer385 Stay Low Run Free

    Jan 7, 2008
    as always good stuff
    Samphin likes this.
  11. The Aqua Crush

    The Aqua Crush New Member

    Jun 15, 2008
    Calgary Alberta Canada
    That dolphin dreaming on the couch is great. Great article on a friday morning at work. Thanks a bunch Samphin.
    Samphin likes this.
  12. The Dude

    The Dude Anti Jet

    Sep 1, 2008
    nice first laugh of the day...thnx.
    Samphin likes this.
  13. BigDogsHunt

    BigDogsHunt Enough talk...prove it!

    Nov 27, 2007
    DC Metro Area
    I had to pan back up to this picture to fine him, after going to the next picture and realizing you imposed PHINS into each image (like Waldo).


    nice :lol:
    Samphin likes this.
  14. Phinperor

    Phinperor formerly In_Flames Luxury Box

    Nov 23, 2007
    great job bro, keep 'um coming :lol:
    Samphin likes this.
  15. Regan21286

    Regan21286 MCAT's, EMT's, AMCAS, ugh

    Dec 3, 2007
    UCLA, CA
    Is it me or does that Dolphin look like it's doing something to the football that's inappropriate for minors to hear.
    Frumundah Finnatic and Samphin like this.
  16. Frumundah Finnatic

    Frumundah Finnatic U Mad Miami?

    Dec 2, 2007
    Miami FL
    that dolphin looks dead

Share This Page