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Samphin's Week 4 Manifesto: Bye Week Edition

Discussion in 'Trophy Case' started by Samphin, Sep 26, 2008.

  1. Samphin

    Samphin Κακό σκυλί ψόφο δεν έχει

    One could argue that Miami took their bye week in week two. However, the sad truth was, they were, in fact, on the field against the Arizona Cardinals. The true bye week, or as I like to call it,

    Most. Boringest. Week. Evar.

    commences this week after a huge, uplifting win against the Patriots in New England. Granted, No Brady, no Maroney and no camera, but a huge win nonetheless.

    But even though our beloved fins take the week off, the Manifesto keeps plugging away. Yes, like the Energizer Bunny...or herpes...or the Energuzer Bunny WITH herpes, the Manifesto keeps appearing on the bottom lip of www.thephins.com and no matter how many ointments you put on it...it continues to pop up at the most inopportune times.

    [​IMG]

    So with that disturbing imagery out of the way, you may be on the verge of asking me, "But Samphin? How can you do a MAnifesto when everyone is off this week?" Easy, says I!

    I simply change the ****ing format of the article.

    Instead of giving a vague and generic gameplan of what we should be doing against our current opponenet, I plan on focusing on individual Dolphins players and how they should be spending their bye week to maximize their efforts on, and off the field.

    So with that, I present to you:

    The Bye Week Gameplan

    [​IMG]

    Tony Sparano
    Bro, I love ya because you aren't named Saban, Wannstedt or Cameron, but I NEED you to grow at least a foot to normal height. Does anyone else get beet red when the camera goes to the sideline for a coach reaction shot, only to have to quickly pan down in order to see the fidget of a coach?

    I mean, its okay to be short, but when your players douse you with Gatorade...from their knees, it tends to err on the side of ridiculous. The guy looks like he should be singing to Dorothy after she killed that uggo of a witch.

    [​IMG]


    Brandon Fields

    Brandon Fields really has only one job. Kick the ball high and deep. He does that job very well. However, I am concerned about the obvious split personality the guy has. He should spend this bye week coming to grips with the fact that he is, in fact, the fat kid from Stand By Me.

    Hey Jerry, I mean "Brandon." There is no shame in being a bad second rate actor. I mean, who DIDN'T watch Sliders? (answer: everybody). And Tomcats is one of the best movies of 2002. We all know its you Jerry. This is the worst kept secret since I found out Clay Aiken was...a substitute teacher.

    I don't know what is worse, the fact that you think we DON'T know its you, or that I know every thing ever done by Jerry O'Connell (including Joe's Apartment and Rebecca Romijn-Stamos-O'Connell).

    [​IMG]

    Ricky Williams

    Try not smoking illicit drugs. In fact, don't even eat any type of smoked turkey, ham or other meat products.

    [​IMG]

    Joey Porter

    Shut your ****ing mouth! You arrogant idiot. You always talk trash, yet you NEVER back it up!

    ...Wait, what?

    Three sacks, a forced fumble and Defensive Player of the Week?

    Hmmmmm.

    Nevermind then. Continue talking smack, attacking Levi Jones in Vegas and getting shot in the buttocks. Heck, if it is working for ya and you REALLY want to up your totals, call Matt Cassel at home and leave him harassing voicemails on his machine in your best Dave-Chappelle-as-Rick-James voice.

    [​IMG]

    Jeff Ireland/Bill Parcells

    Continue scouring the waiver wires/trade demands and free agent lists to try and find a legit wide receiver. Granted, Ginn and Co. looked halfway decent against New England, but really, against that defense, it looks like Usain Bolt running in the Special Olym....oh wait...I used that joke already.

    Nevertheless, we need a playmaker. A game changer. Typicaly, those guys are locked up on teams around the league and impossible to get. But lucky for us, I have heard that THIS guy is available:

    [​IMG]


    So there you have it folks. What some of our key people SHOULD be doing with ther downtime here on the Bye week. Hopefully they listen to me. Scientific fac has shown that when Miami does what I tell them too...they win.

    Or at least win a fight they start in the game on account of them losing...

    Until next time.
     
  2. ManicMiner

    ManicMiner Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    Gotta love the Sparano pic. Genius!
     
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  3. azfinfanmang

    azfinfanmang Premium Member Luxury Box

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    Epic!!!!!
     
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  4. brandon27

    brandon27 Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    :sidelol: good stuff bro!
     
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  5. HardKoreXXX

    HardKoreXXX Insensitive to the Touch

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    Funniest one yet. You may have a future in this kind of stuff Mr. Phin.
     
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  6. Samphin

    Samphin Κακό σκυλί ψόφο δεν έχει


    I don't know. The Week 3 Manifesto with the Usain Bolt picture was pretty funny and popular.

    Perhaps SECOND funniest one yet...

    It certainly beats the rubbish of the first two weeks. :hi5:
     
  7. HULKFish

    HULKFish Artist and Scribe

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    Only one thing I can say... BRILLIANT!
     
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  8. HardKoreXXX

    HardKoreXXX Insensitive to the Touch

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    The Sparano Munchkin (sp?) photo did it for me. The Bolt one was great, but any reference to the Lolli Pop Guild = Epic Win IMO.
     
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  9. cnc66

    cnc66 wiley veteran, bad spelur Luxury Box

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    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_CAs3q7G48]YouTube - Lollipop Guild[/ame]
     
  10. TheAnswer385

    TheAnswer385 Stay Low Run Free

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    as always good stuff
     
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  11. The Aqua Crush

    The Aqua Crush New Member

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    That dolphin dreaming on the couch is great. Great article on a friday morning at work. Thanks a bunch Samphin.
     
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  12. The Dude

    The Dude Anti Jet

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    nice first laugh of the day...thnx.
     
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  13. BigDogsHunt

    BigDogsHunt Enough talk...prove it!

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    I had to pan back up to this picture to fine him, after going to the next picture and realizing you imposed PHINS into each image (like Waldo).

    [​IMG]

    nice :lol:
     
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  14. Phinperor

    Phinperor formerly In_Flames Luxury Box

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    great job bro, keep 'um coming :lol:
     
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  15. Regan21286

    Regan21286 MCAT's, EMT's, AMCAS, ugh

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    Is it me or does that Dolphin look like it's doing something to the football that's inappropriate for minors to hear.
     
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  16. Frumundah Finnatic

    Frumundah Finnatic U Mad Miami?

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    that dolphin looks dead
     

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